AIBU to be upset about my DD's university choice?

[Nicmarmum]

My DD, who is now in year 13, decided to study Law for her undergraduate studies. She applied for a few universities in the UK and received conditional offers from UCL and KCL.

She attended the open day of both universities and formed a strong preference of KCL over UCL. She likes KCL's vibes, its beautiful buildings and is disappointed by how unorganized UCL run the open day, and its facilities look run down to her.

She is considering to firm KCL which I am unsure whether it is a wise choice. I am given to know that UCL is academically stronger in law, and enjoys a better reputation in the industry. I have conveyed such messages to DD as well but she seems to be quite determined. If you were me, what will you do?

When I read your title I assumed that you had a really bright DD who'd chosen to do a slightly flakey degree at a lower ranking HE institution.

I don't think law at KCL is much of a come down from law at UCL 🤣

You're splitting hairs I think.

Just not something that I’ve heard of amongst our circle - DD went to private school surrounded by quite a lot of well off families and all of their kids have regular student loans just like any other teenager

I can’t understand threads like these. Your dd has found a uni she really likes, the vibe, the atmosphere, surroundings etc-and it’s a very well respected university. Yet you want to undermine her choice by muttering it’s better to go somewhere which will be seen as marginally better in a few firms. Your dd will do better and get more out of her degree by going somewhere she really wants to be. And if she does reconsider her choice because of you-if it goes poorly, she won’t put it down to experience and learn from it but she’ll be full of resentment. There’s nothing wrong with talking about her choice and asking if she’s completely happy with it and pointing out things she might not have considered but otherwise, put a smile on your face and tell her you!re proud of her.

OP I don't mean to be rude, but this seems to be a bit of a ridiculous concern.

On the complete university guide for law, UCL is ranked 3 and KCL is ranked 5. The difference is negligible and irrelevant. Your post made me think that she's getting offers from places ranked around 3, but opting to go to somewhere ranked below 100.

YABU. Hardly anything between them.

Ultimately it IS her choice and she will be much more invested in it if she has agency, rather than is forced into something by her parents.
Both are great unis, if she feels more at home at Kings then it is probably better suited to her.

This might help 😜
KCL vs UCL: who is really better? (thetab.com)

Agree. I’m not even sure it’s always in UCL’s favour either

The buildings are part of the experience too. Both offer firsts: she can get one at either. She’s more likely to do it where she’s happy.

@Nicmarmum I agree with you. I wouldn't be upset upset. But I'd be annoyed and think DD was making a mistake.

KCL isn't horrendous though. But yes UCL is awesome for law.

It’s interesting to see all the views that it is the student’s choice. Given that the parents generally spend so much on the university choice, I wonder if they do have a valid say?

Personally, I don't think so. I wouldn't dream of holding my dd to ransom over her university choices. She is an adult. I will offer opinions and advice but I will respect her decisions.

And yes, depending on household income, the government does expect parents to cough up to support the child's living expenses, though this isn't actually enforceable in any way. This creates huge problems for students whose parents decide that they can't/won't pay. But even when they do pay, the parents are just supporting their child's living costs while they are still in FT education, they aren't actually paying the university fees - and I don't think that meeting their basic obligations as a parent gives them any say at all in what the student chooses to study or where they choose to study it. Why should it?

I retract my statement. Just saw the QS rankings for law. KCL is one below UCL. And in the UK rankings there's only a difference of 2.

Career wise she'll be no worse of at KCL.

I'd say that depends on circumstances. My DS has just rejected an offer from the University that most people would pick out as "the best" for what he wants to do. But he has chosen another good University and has rational reasons for his preference. I do still feel slightly uneasy about it but I can see his logic and I am sure he will do well at his chosen University so perfectly happy to support that.
Had he decided he wanted to turn down, say, Maths at Cambridge for Disney Studies at the University of Nowhere then we would probably have been having a very different conversation and the Bank of Mum and Dad may well have been a bit less generous. But even then, if he'd been able to make a good case for why he was making that choice I would have listened,

Are you familiar with the various law faculties? KCL and UCL have a hairs breadth between them… they are usually thought of as equivalent.

Ah just seen your retraction!

I think it depends DS how vast the gap between the ideal and the chosen path.

In this case there’s so little in it it wouldn’t be fair to override a preference.

And part way thru her time there those respective rankings may swap …

It is so marginal I would say there is no difference in outcome for KCL and UCL law graduates which is not explicable by other factors. Same kid at both will have same result in their post-grad career. I was responsible for selecting trainees for a magic circle firm for a few years, before it went uni-blind, and it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference then either.
You are micromanaging to a bizarre degree. She should go to the one she likes best - if she prefers the glamorous setting of the Dickson Poon School of law in somerset house, by the river, to horrid old bloomsury 60s buildings of UCL, who can blame her. She has to choose between them somehow, and "prestige" or "quality" are basically identical.

<<whispers >>> … and I am superficial enough I would hands down prefer the former…

I was fortunate enough to attend what I consider the most beautiful university in the world and every day - yes every day - that inspired and motivated me to be in such a stunning environment. It’s no small thing to some of us .

I totally agree. I’d go to KCL too, for that reason! So uplifting, I’d be happy every day I went in…

Both excellent unis. Your DD is the one that has to do the course. Respect her decision.

KCL is a fantastic university. Support your daughter.

Dead right. In addition, most of the small difference is accounted for by UCL being better rated for research than King's. It's a moot point how much research quality matters to a teenage under-grad. For post-grad study, sure, but at some universities the top researchers have very little to do with first or second-year under-grads.

It's around 50/50 law and non law so really not an issue

Overall it makes no difference. No law course at any university can make you successful at getting a job or in your career if DC aren’t great at selection tests. Any lawyer needs more skills and attributes than the degree. Neither of these unis is going to hold anyone back. Clearly the best paying jobs have a lot of competition but employers have selection techniques and for bigger companies, looking at uni attended isn’t one of them.

It’s not a requirement to have a law degree and many firms want bright DC who get through the selection tests! So the degree is the launch pad. It won’t ultimately define what happens in a career.

This. (Lawyer here)