AIBU to be upset about my DD's university choice?

[Nicmarmum]

My DD, who is now in year 13, decided to study Law for her undergraduate studies. She applied for a few universities in the UK and received conditional offers from UCL and KCL.

She attended the open day of both universities and formed a strong preference of KCL over UCL. She likes KCL's vibes, its beautiful buildings and is disappointed by how unorganized UCL run the open day, and its facilities look run down to her.

She is considering to firm KCL which I am unsure whether it is a wise choice. I am given to know that UCL is academically stronger in law, and enjoys a better reputation in the industry. I have conveyed such messages to DD as well but she seems to be quite determined. If you were me, what will you do?

You are being unreasonable. It has been said already but they are both excellent universities and it will make absolutely no difference to her chances of a training contract with a good firm (or pupillage) if she still wants a career in law after studying it. I am a lawyer at a good firm and have a few colleagues who went to KCL and qualified at magic circle firms.

Yabu. I thought you were going to say she's chosen to study French film at UEL. Just let her pick where she thinks she will be most happy.

You are so right. KCL is absolute dross. Most of its Nobel Prize winners have been in the sciences. And I think the UCL logo is prettier.

Respect her decision. You want her to become an independent adult, she needs self determination. I don't believe in the 'you're paying, you get to choose' rhetoric. You're paying because of an unfair system which charges for something that should be free, I don't think there should be strings attached.

OP, DS did exactly the same. Offers from KCL and UCL and he immediately went for KCL. UCL has higher status but it was shambolic and he got no sense of energy or departmental vibrancy and cohesion from it at all. On the open day - nothing was open. He and others stood outside a locked door for twenty minutes waiting for the HoS to come and give a talk, whereas KCL was buzzing. All the inner London students hang out together - LSE, UCL and KCL and they compare notes - with both LSE and UCL envying what the KCL students were studying and how their course was structured.

Don't worry. In UK, UCL has more status, but globally, KCL is highly rated too. It's more important that she is happy and enjoys her time there. Many of DS's friends went on to do Masters at Cambridge so it's no drawback to future study.

I massively preferred KCL too on open days and was secretly glad DS chose it over LSE and UCL.

"My adult daughter has had offers accepted on houses in Kensington and in Chelsea. I think she should choose Kensington. Surely she should listen to me?"

By the time you’re into your 3rd job / 30s and definitely 40s, your degree grade doesn’t really come up or isn’t taken into consideration so much. It’s (a) so you have a degree at required level in required subject and (b) which university its from. Then (c) experience, potential, personality, etc.

For sure some universities have more caché than others. Having the right name on your job application can certainly help and I’ve seen it again and again. However happiness at university is the key determinant of whether or not someone thrives - academically and socially.

We can guide them and give an opinion where asked, but at this age it needs to be their decision. They have to spend a long time at uni and need to be happy there, that is more important than anything IMO. It's one thing looking at figures/statistics etc .... but my DD got a feel for a certain uni, one she hadn't even considered before, and just knew she'd be happy there and in the surrounding area.

Yabvu

More of an issue is doing law, surely? All the lawyers I know did something else and then a conversion, so they have some specialist expertise. there are loads of unemployed law graduates.

Let her choose, I would say. It's really important that they learn the consequences of their choices.

YABU. I used to work at a magic circle law firm. There were lawyers there from both UCL and Kings (I don’t think there were significantly more from UCL over Kings), as well as a variety of other unis.

The difference between the two is tiny compared to the difference it will make to you DD to go the university that she feels happy and comfortable with and motivated to attend. Let her choose.

Law firms actually prefer KCL graduates over UCL. (But the difference is tiny)

https://www.chambersstudent.co.uk/where-to-start/newsletter/law-firms-preferred-universities-2019

Partner at city law firm 🙋🏻‍♀️ Absolutely no difference between KCL and UCL. She’s done well to get into both and should go with whichever she prefers.

You let her decide. If she went to your choice and hated it she would never forgive you.

I too have a preference for my ds this year but I know ultimately he has to choose.

Some Universities are better environments than others. I would choose KCL over UCL any day.

Both universities are really good and Kings benefits from more prestige internationally (I think).

I don’t think there’s harm in gently playing Devil’s advocate, pointing out the things you’ve mentioned around academic and industry reputations - but ultimately, I agree with PPs - it’s her life and you need to let her live it.

Similar to others, I thought you were going to say she was offered Oxford but choosing Hull, something like that! She’s been offered places at two good universities, let her choose the one where she thinks she’ll be happier.

I don't know anything about law or London Universities as I have no interest in either but she sounds like an intelligent girl who has made her own assessment of her options rather than basing it on "reputation" - which from what other posters have said sounds marginal anyway.
What you should do is be proud of her and support her.

I would let my child choose her own University.
DD is currently considering offers and is leaning towards one as first choice but I think that another would suit her better.
However, she doesnt know this and I wont tell her unless she asks.

Barrister here. When I'm looking at pupillage applications there's no way I would distinguish between UCL and Kings but grade is important. If your daughter is happy she will do well and her happiness is so incredibly important.

Please think carefully about how you are dealing with this issue. Pushy parents make their children resentful and/or miserable. This decision is a matter for her and the fact that you've posted this suggests to me that, if she were to later regret her decision, you would be the first to say "I told you so". Tell your daughter how proud you are that she got into two excellent universities and that you're sure she will excel whatever she decides. Tell her that, if she prefers Kings, she should go for it. Young women have so much to worry about, please don't add to that at such a delicate time.

My DH is an Oxbridge law prof. He says KCL is great and just as good as UCL. Organisationally, it’s on the ball. Good setting and lots of accommodation opportunities

Doubt you can go wrong with either. Let dc choose.