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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

I'm feeling like uni just isn't an option for our children. It's made me very sad.

469 replies

F0XCUBs · 17/09/2023 15:26

In tears this morning. We have two bright children. One would go to uni next year. But we can't afford it. We are middle income rather than very low or high. They would get a loan but it wouldn't cover all the rent at most unis.
DH says they have to go to local uni or do an apprenticeship and that is that. DD would really like to go to a new place from where we live.
Yes I know we should have prepared for this for years, I'm sorry I really didn't know we were expected to contribute £300-500 per month! We didn't go to uni. Between us we earn about £50.000. But don't have spare money left over.
I know they could get jobs but dd1 has applied for twelve jobs in our town and not got one. She is autistic and lacks social skills so I don't think we can rely on her getting one. Especially if there are thousands of other kids applying for the same part time jobs.
How do people afford it?! It seems so unfair that we can't give them the opportunity
When DS wants to go we definitely can't afford two lots of that money

OP posts:
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Original poster
F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:19

NoSquirrels · 18/09/2023 19:03

It’s quite possible that if it was your local university talking to a group of local students who’d (presumably) be living at home, the conversation about money just revolves around fees, which would be paid for in full by the tuition loan that all students can get, so ‘no need to worry’. I think she’s just not heard the full context.

True!

OP posts:
Original poster
F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:20

Dixiechickonhols · 18/09/2023 18:59

Sounds a productive day Op. Yes these current yr 13s have the child trust fund, worth checking its value.
There’s a Facebook group aimed at parents called What I wish I knew about University which has lots of good info.

Yes actually I always put 20 quid a month in there until she was about 13 when DH stopped the direct debit!

OP posts:
Original poster
F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:21

Disappeared · 18/09/2023 17:35

Another problem with halls is you don’t dictate the one you want ie the Uni may have 8 halls one at 6k the others 7-9k you’re generally asked to choose ie 5 and put them in order of preference and you can end up with any out the 5. My dd got her 2nd choice her friend got her 4th

That is a worry. I wonder if some unis are more likely to get the one you want?

OP posts:
Original poster
F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:22

WehIstMir · 18/09/2023 17:33

Just wanted to say that you seem to be a very caring mum and your DD sounds great. I am an academic (not CS) and there are many neurodivergent students at universities who achieve amazing things and, like most other students, develop independence, improve their social skills, make friends and blossom. It's not too late to start researching and getting a better understanding of the differences between courses and universities. If you can, try to attend some Open Days to get a feel for different universities, have a nose around sites like https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/ and look at university rankings https://www.theguardian.com/education/ng-interactive/2022/sep/24/best-uk-universities-for-computer-science-information-systems-league-table. Best of luck!

Thank you so much. We have booked some

OP posts:
MarchingFrogs · 18/09/2023 19:24

NoSquirrels · 18/09/2023 19:03

It’s quite possible that if it was your local university talking to a group of local students who’d (presumably) be living at home, the conversation about money just revolves around fees, which would be paid for in full by the tuition loan that all students can get, so ‘no need to worry’. I think she’s just not heard the full context.

That was my thought, as well.

Upthread someone commented that a colleague who is a senior academic had just about zero clue about the costs involved... Perhaps their DC shouldn't be allowed to access higher education, either...

@F0XCUBs re UWE, u fortunately, Bristol is one of the places where post-first year accommodation tends to be in quite short supply and rather expensive.

Dixiechickonhols · 18/09/2023 19:26

F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:20

Yes actually I always put 20 quid a month in there until she was about 13 when DH stopped the direct debit!

Show quote history

Definitely check out. That would be your uni savings account for her.
I put a relatively small amount monthly in my DD’s and it will be a big help, she’s also yr 13.

Dixiechickonhols · 18/09/2023 19:29

F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:21

That is a worry. I wonder if some unis are more likely to get the one you want?

Show quote history

Definitely worth exploring the disabled student provision. Some we spoke to would guarantee disabled students rooms all 3 yrs in halls or allocate a better room for lower price eg en-suite for shared bathroom cost if had medical need for own bathroom.

MatchyM · 18/09/2023 19:29

F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 17:11

Thanks again for all the support. I've had a very productive day thanks to you all! ( I don't work on Mondays) and have sat down with DD this afternoon to go through everything.
In case anyone is interested!

We've set a limit of £6500 for accommodation. This is the loan amount.
They are going to get a job in a charity shop and continue to apply for jobs locally to improve prospects of getting a job at uni
They are open to going to local uni, looking at halls for first year then come home or make a choice about that
Have told them we can only contribute approx £175 per month
I've looked at lots of unis and what support is available for autistic students, a couple offer halls for whole course for autistic students
Someone mentioned Swansea, yes looking at that too. Only might be a bit far away. Otherwise looks great.

Been looking at bursaries etc.
I was hoping being a female doing CS and autistic and parents didn't go to uni might help somehow but no luck there.

Is Bristol and UWE impossible to get accommodation after the first year? Does anyone know? Might decide against that one

Also discussed degree apprenticeships and she thinks she may as well apply to those too as she likes the idea of going somewhere every day rather than sitting in room motivating herself to study.

Thanks again for all the help and for giving me a kick up the arse Smile

Re Bristol, the first year halls accommodation is not cheap. There is then a riot to secure accommodation in the second year.

My son and his friends eventually found somewhere. Just over £800 a month each not including bills. For a crap student flat. It would be cheaper away from the centre but still expensive.

I would definitely not recommend Bristol to anyone on a budget. Lovely city but not cheap at all.

StarDolphins · 18/09/2023 19:31

Remortgaging/releasing equity from your home when they can still go to uni is (imo) bonkers.

I ‘want’ to live in a big house & have a brand new car but I can’t so I accept my lovely little house & older car & that’s it. Sometimes we have to make do in life.

MarchingFrogs · 18/09/2023 19:37

F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:21

That is a worry. I wonder if some unis are more likely to get the one you want?

Show quote history

Okay, so this is the one advantage of the universities which use the 'choose and book' system for accommodation (assuming 1. that at least one of them offers a course that your DD wants to apply for and 2. she gets an offer 3. in time to firm it in time to be able to book her accommodation while there is still some in her price range left. Also 4. that there is accommodation in her price range in the first place, of course). Others (? most) get those who have firmed - also those who have insured at e.g. Sussex, unless it's changes in the last 2 years - to rank a certain number of preferences, in the hope that they will be allocated one of them and not a random other block.

Giveituphq · 18/09/2023 19:37

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Oblomov23 · 18/09/2023 19:53

I'm staggered that you haven't kept yourself informed. You have played the victim card hard. Now is the time to step up and act. Is her school awful? Our school has Year 12 and Year 13 Information Evenings, open days, Uni applications, when, what dates, when personal statements need to be submitted, all deadlines. Where have you been?
Ds1 has had a job, for the whole of his first year of uni. Start saving now!

clary · 18/09/2023 20:01

F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:21

That is a worry. I wonder if some unis are more likely to get the one you want?

Show quote history

I think the answer to that is yes. Tbh the shared bathroom, cheaper ones tend to be less popular. DS2 was allocated a more expensive room at L'boro but was easily able to swap it to a cheaper hall via a portal in the week following allocation. Not sure how common that system is tho. Worth asking the uni accom teams.

TrailingLoellia · 18/09/2023 20:03

OP
Newcastle has several bursaries. You can get more than one.

Name of Scholarship: Ann Cairns Scholarship
Provided by: Ann Cairns (MSc Medical Statistics, 1979).
Supporting women to study STEM subjects reflects the shared ethos of the Ann Cairns Scholarship, the Women’s Giving Circle, and Newcastle University. The scholarship is designed to encourage more women into these subjects.
Number of awards available: 3
Scholarship Amount: £2,000 per year for your first 3 years of study.
Eligibility Criteria
Supporting young women from underprivileged backgrounds to study STEM subjects.
Scholarships are available for female students in Year 1 of an undergraduate degree programme at Newcastle University in September 2023.
This is available to students in the Schools of:

  • Engineering
  • Computing
  • Mathematics, Statistics and Physics
Preference will be given to female home students, ordinarily resident in the UK, and capable of high academic performance.

CyberFirst Bursary
This bursary provides:

  • an annual bursary of £4000 for each year of degree study in a STEM subject
  • work experience opportunities

https://www.ncl.ac.uk/undergraduate/fees-funding/scholarships-bursaries/subject-scholarships/electrical-engineering/

Electrical and Electronic Engineering Scholarships | Undergraduate | Newcastle University

Find out about our range of scholarships available for Electrical and Electronic Engineering students.

https://www.ncl.ac.uk/undergraduate/fees-funding/scholarships-bursaries/subject-scholarships/electrical-engineering/

LuwakCoffee · 18/09/2023 20:21

@F0XCUBs Forget Bristol and UWE as an option just on the basis of accommodation. Bristol were looking at bussing students in and out of first year as far away as Newport, which would make PT work and a social life a nightmare. Bristol has always been a fairly costly city for students, even back in the 1970s when I was there and it has only got worse.

mushroom3 · 18/09/2023 20:35

As well as Swansea, Cardiff, Birmingham, Leicester and Nottingham have reasonably priced accommodation for 2nd and 3rd years

Ylvamoon · 18/09/2023 20:42

F0XCUBs · 18/09/2023 19:21

That is a worry. I wonder if some unis are more likely to get the one you want?

Show quote history

In regards to halls, if your DC take a year out, they will have more choice and a better chance of getting 1st choice. They will then only compete with 2nd & 3rd year students for the following academic year.

My DD took a year out to earn money for university. She saved almost all her wages minus a couple of grand for upkeep at home. (50.- / Week for 9 months)
She did get a 2nd job on the back of the first one doing some freelance for her pocket money.
She then settled on a course that comes with a bursary... although that bit wasn't the original plan!
Are these possibilities for your DC?
Can they get a job within their chosen career path?

The thing is, if you can't afford for DC to go to university, then that's it. You can't magic up money that you haven't got.
Let DC know and look at alternatives as well as financial options. We were in the same boat and DD had to make some difficult decisions based on finances for the next 3 years.

TrailingLoellia · 18/09/2023 22:41

If due to your DD’s autism she would struggle to do self catered accommodation on top of her studies, you might be able to get DSA to pay towards catered accommodation which will save you several hundred pound a month.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 19/09/2023 16:42

Does she receive PIP?

LadyOfTheWagon · 26/10/2023 14:59

Tbf, an apprenticeship would most likely lead to a better salary unless they manage to climb the ladder to senior management or graduate in a subject particularly in demand, or something like Law.

You could spend a few grand on a crane license and then be on £65k by your early 20s with almost no debt if you went into one of the big civil engineering contracts - arctic drivers can earn the same nowadays. Or become a self employed tradesperson (some of them are earning £100k in the city). Hell, even bricklayers earn £45k on average and some as much as £90-£125k.

Obv not for everyone but it's wrong to assume a degree is needed to earn good money. Tradespeople and workers in the construction sector now earn more than graduates on average.

boys3 · 26/10/2023 15:38

that’s rather cherrypicking in those assertions @LadyOfTheWagon . I’d agree there are some working in the trades who are doing very well, and the overall graduate wage premium is deminishing. However, even with the limitation of these being averages, figures for 2022 from the ONS - Office For National Statistics - were:

Electricians £33,636

Plumbers £33,380

Bricklayers £30,672

Painter £29,232

Carpenter £29,171

Tiler £28,805

Plasterer £28,693

Roofer £26,099

Xenia · 26/10/2023 16:17

Luwak we have a relative who started Bristol this year and has not been bussed in from Wales and instead got choice of halls in Stoke Bishop. I just don't want everyone to think Bristol cannot accommodate first years in hall.

LuwakCoffee · 26/10/2023 16:36

That's good to know, Xenia.

LadyOfTheWagon · 26/10/2023 17:02

boys3 · 26/10/2023 15:38

that’s rather cherrypicking in those assertions @LadyOfTheWagon . I’d agree there are some working in the trades who are doing very well, and the overall graduate wage premium is deminishing. However, even with the limitation of these being averages, figures for 2022 from the ONS - Office For National Statistics - were:

Electricians £33,636

Plumbers £33,380

Bricklayers £30,672

Painter £29,232

Carpenter £29,171

Tiler £28,805

Plasterer £28,693

Roofer £26,099

Edited

It's a fact though. Surveys have shown that tradespeople earn more on average. Official data normally doesn't give a good picture. I saw a list the other day saying the average accountant makes £35k.

Also, that's probs the basic salary not including overtime usually paid at 1.5-2x hourly rate. My basic is £36.5k but I'm on track to make close to £50k this year. The builders at current job are on £230 a day and they're not running the job, just on the payroll as either employees or s/e. That's a couple hundred off £60k.