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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

How many university open day visits did you do with your DC?

204 replies

Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 21:20

DD is quite keen on one university in a small city she has visited and loved. Its decent (if not exceptional) for her course and convenient but not too close travel from home (both driving and train). In many ways it works very very well from my perspective. It's a totally sensible, safe-ish academically choice.

She's agreed to visit a couple of others but a little under sufferance. Everything is compared to her preferred choice and her A level campus (which again was a slightly quirky unexpected choice necessitated by circumstances but that is working very well for DD). A lot are dismissed by DD at the online investigation stage.

But I am worried about how much I should be allowing her to self restrict, or for that matter restricting her myself.

The family situation mentioned below means I have carer responsibilities that severly limit my ability to travel, money is limited and i have injuries all of which make travelling to university open days challenging, especially if you can't get there and back easily in a day. I don't really have the emotional, physical or mental reserves to go charging across the country looking at all the unis for her course. The situation will most likely complicate her travelling to and from whatever uni she goes to amd how much i can help.

Compounding the decision is that we really have no idea what her grades might look like.

We as a family had the time from hell through her GCSEs, most people were incredulous DD was still sitting them at all. She had very little actual study in the 3 months prior to the exam but she wanted to stay in correct year with her peers. The fact that she took them was a miracle, the fact she passed any deeply admirable

(The family situation is ongoing and may unexpectedly hit crisis at pretty much any point but hopefully the impact on DD education wise is somewhat mitigated now. But it's still very stressful )

DD underachieved on one important subject she is hoping to rectify this year and averagely on everything else. Would lead to the expectation of CCC. However Initial A level assessments peg her as having the capacity to hit at least 2 B and at least one of those potentially an A (on a good day if nothing else goes wrong between now and then). Not that that surprises me hugely, she's bright. But that makes a reasonable estimate of her grade anything between a CCC and an ABB. She hasn't lot the same level of hobbies enhancements as many with that grade due to covid, the family situation and her own physical challenges

I don’t know whether to encourage her to look at a more challenging uni (which are all bar one much further away for her course) or whether that is just entirely unrealistic and will just hit her confidence if she is turned down or misses the grades. I'd hate to feel I limited DD's opportunities (any more than they alreafy are) before she'd already begun.

But I do know that given DD a stubborn whotsit🫣😁, there's a definite value to letting her go her own way about things. Especially when her way definitely has its own merits.

So how many visits did you do with your DC? Any words of advice?

OP posts:
Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 21:28

I should add she's in the first year of a levels.

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Ciri · 19/01/2023 21:34

If she’s happy with the one she’s picked I’d do a couple of different visits to similar types of university. She would general put down five options and then has to pick a firm choice and an insurance (generally lower grades required)

to answer your question though, we visited eight.

Titsywoo · 19/01/2023 21:36

We did 8 open days. It was very useful and solidified some options and some places she decided against even though she was keen beforehand. I think it is worth going to as many as you can.

Comefromaway · 19/01/2023 21:38

We did six (although one was that we happened to be on holiday in the city on open day). They were very useful and helped to rule out three places.

lljkk · 19/01/2023 21:51

yr12 is kind of early.
DD did 4 open days on her own or with friends (no 'rents); all at start of yr13

DS1 got good/great GCSEs but refused A-levels

DS2 only went to offer days in spring of yr13, refused to attend open days. He was predicted at best AAB so naturally got A+ 2 x Astar. I know that feeling about "should he have aimed higher??"

I live in an area where lots young people hang out on corners & fail to get 5xGCSEs at 4 or better. Am a firm believer in supporting whatever they can find motivation to do & being grateful mine aren't being feckless on the street corners.

marrymeadam · 19/01/2023 21:52

I think she needs to visit as many as she can. It's very hard to make decisions without visiting. My DD is currently auditioning for unis (dance) and is going to as many as possible (that we can afford to pay for auditions of) because it's so important to go and get a feel for them. You can walk in and fall in love or hate it completely, you can't rule places in or out without setting foot in them (in my opinion)

Thighdentitycrisis · 19/01/2023 21:56

3

Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 21:59

Thank you. That helps hugely. I dont feel quite so bad.

I'm having trouble working out what exactly it is she likes about her choice but I think it's that it feels cohesive and compact even though it is part of a small city. She knows she doesn't like campuses that are too concrete blocky, not keen on sprawling inner city type campuses, likes them to be altogether but hated one she visited with her college that had a fence around it as she felt trapped in and doesnt want one too isolated. Thank goodness her course is quite common🙄🙄🤣🤣

OP posts:
Roughcollie · 19/01/2023 22:04

Tell us which one she likes and we can suggest similar places

stayathomegardener · 19/01/2023 22:04

14 over 2 years.

We got DD's A level college wrong so keen to avoid that mistake again.

Actually visit number 5 clarified she needed to look at more specialist courses within the same field so it was worth it.

Plus it was fun!

stayathomegardener · 19/01/2023 22:06

Cocktails in Bristol, beach at Bournemouth, seafood dinner in Falmouth... I loved those trips with her.

MrsAvocet · 19/01/2023 22:10

None, with DS1 because of Covid. He did 3 "virtual" ones but that's all. I was very relieved that he liked his choice when he eventually saw it as we'd never even visited the city before he accepted the offer. It was pretty stressful!
DS2 is in year 12 now and is interested in a course that isn't available in a large number of places so I'm expecting he will look at 3 or 4 at most. There are a couple of trips from school coming up too, to relatively close Universities. He isn't particularly interested in either of them but I think it's still worth going to get the general idea and to get comparisons with the places he thinks he likes.

Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 22:11

lljkk · 19/01/2023 21:51

yr12 is kind of early.
DD did 4 open days on her own or with friends (no 'rents); all at start of yr13

DS1 got good/great GCSEs but refused A-levels

DS2 only went to offer days in spring of yr13, refused to attend open days. He was predicted at best AAB so naturally got A+ 2 x Astar. I know that feeling about "should he have aimed higher??"

I live in an area where lots young people hang out on corners & fail to get 5xGCSEs at 4 or better. Am a firm believer in supporting whatever they can find motivation to do & being grateful mine aren't being feckless on the street corners.

I'm going to be preparing for a complex educational tribunal in September. Potentially there's other complex stuff happening until then and after then. We're taking opportunities when we can.

Interesting about sending DC on their own. There's two that DD is interested in but that I definitely couldn't travel to at all easily. DD could, it would be a decent challenge for her but I wondered if most went with parents and shed feel left out

Yes we are also in an area with generally very low expectations, a levels has been better as dd has met more kids with wider expectations. My expectations for her have always been quite high but it's only now that DD is starting to believe I'm not entirely delusional in my faith in her

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SingingSands · 19/01/2023 22:12

DD visited her top 3. She is now studying at what was her first choice.

She also seemed to base a lot of decisions on information from current students rating the campus and city nightlife on TikTok... 🤔

Anyway, she's loving her Uni, the city and her course so as long as she's happy I'm happy.

Hbh17 · 19/01/2023 22:17

I know I'm old, but thus idea of parents always going with their kids just horrifies me. Just put her on a train and send her off - it worked out fine for all of us.

Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 22:23

Loves Portsmouth, hated Sussex, found ucl weird, not sure she can afford central London anyway.

Her a level campus is a small compact quirky thing in the next town over. Most kids select to go to the college nearest to us or in the posh town the other side. Has a large number of international students. She wants somewhere with good access to jobs, our town is dead job wise

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FallonofDynasty · 19/01/2023 22:26

None with dc1 due to covid.

Dc2 visited 2 unis with 6th form. None with me. I tried to suggest visiting - not interested.

Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 22:28

SingingSands · 19/01/2023 22:12

DD visited her top 3. She is now studying at what was her first choice.

She also seemed to base a lot of decisions on information from current students rating the campus and city nightlife on TikTok... 🤔

Anyway, she's loving her Uni, the city and her course so as long as she's happy I'm happy.

Yes DD has also extensively googled,you tubed, and tok tokked (although has absolutely no interest in nightlife currently, we'll see 🤪🤣) .

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Lizziet64 · 19/01/2023 22:30

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Lizziet64 · 19/01/2023 22:31

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Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 22:32

Hbh17 · 19/01/2023 22:17

I know I'm old, but thus idea of parents always going with their kids just horrifies me. Just put her on a train and send her off - it worked out fine for all of us.

She'd rather go with me. Many many years back, I went with my parent which seemed to be the normal where I went. I did have friends who went entirely by themselves.

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Withholdingvitalinfo · 19/01/2023 22:34

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DS visited one with us and two with his GF and her family. We didn’t see anyone without parents. It’s the norm now, especially as parents are forking out £££ often for accommodation etc.

Lizziet64 · 19/01/2023 22:35

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Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 22:38

stayathomegardener · 19/01/2023 22:06

Cocktails in Bristol, beach at Bournemouth, seafood dinner in Falmouth... I loved those trips with her.

Up until last year this was exactly how I imagined uni visits. Unfortunately life really doesn't work out to plan sometimes.

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Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2023 22:39

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I went with my family to open days so definitely not just a recent thing.

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