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Is anyone planning on NOT accompanying their DC to university?
166

NotEnoughTime · 30/05/2020 18:14

Could I have your thoughts and opinions on this please?

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EmbarrassedUser · 30/05/2020 18:19

Why would you go to uni with your DC? Am I missing something here?

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YinMnBlue · 30/05/2020 18:20

Do you mean on Open Days?
Or To go with them to start in September / October?

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TheHighestSardine · 30/05/2020 18:21

I mean, dropping them off on the first day to move in, of course - they don't drive, so. Not sure what you mean.

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AnnaNimmity · 30/05/2020 18:23

I went with my ds last year - why wouldn't you go? ime everyone does go, and it's a rite of passage.

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YinMnBlue · 30/05/2020 18:23

I went to the first Oxbridge day because I had no idea about how an Oxbridge application works.

After that D.C. went to all Uni open days alone or with friends.

It’s their education and life, they need to weigh up the pros and cons.

Plus... they had a better time being independent.

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AnnaNimmity · 30/05/2020 18:24

(I didn't go to any open days, - because my children didn't want me to go).

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Cyberworrier · 30/05/2020 18:24

If they don’t drive, won’t it be very hard and expensive for them to get their stuff there without help? Clothes, books, bedding, kitchen stuff, laptop, books adds up to too much for one person to reasonably carry(Assuming you have a car).
Do you have a particular reason you can’t or don’t want to?

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YinMnBlue · 30/05/2020 18:25

I will drop Dc at Uni though, to transport stuff.

I will be edged out the door as fast as possible though Grin

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Megan2018 · 30/05/2020 18:28

I can’t believe a parent wouldn’t go with them first day to move their stuff in. So much stuff!
I work in HE and the internationals and independents (ie those out of care, those estranged) obviously are alone but it’s pretty unusual otherwise.

I remember the day Dad took me, and that was 24 years ago. There were lots of tears!

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Gulpingcoffee · 30/05/2020 18:39

I had to take myself off to uni on the train (6 hrs) as my parents lived overseas. I had to lug everything I needed with me. I remember the envious pangs I felt seeing parents lovingly dropping car loads of stuff and mums helping make up beds and put everything away, so if you can drive your kid please do!

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fallfallfall · 30/05/2020 18:40

tons of stuff (mini bar fridge, full bedding pillows duvets, cleaning supplies) and tons of forms needed signing off (often including my mastercard!!). they were given instructions to go to a series of different buildings to sign off various forms. with free burgers and friends to distract them between places. i'm sure some would have missed the insurance/medical and dental info (a monthly surcharge that needed to be opted out of in our case so a savings).

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Aragog · 30/05/2020 18:43

Open Days - we went with DD to them all. The majority of potential students had at leats one, if not two, parents with them. There were also some talks specific to parents.

Interview Days - dropped DD off, more local ones she went on train or public transport

First day (and start/end of each term) - will be there to drop her/pick up and help her with taking her stuff and sorting her room (til the point she wants us gone), even if she ends up at our local university.

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NotEnoughTime · 30/05/2020 19:49

Thanks. Sorry for not making myself clear Blush
I have already attended all of the Open Days with my DS and he has firmed Durham University and is hoping to start there this September (as long as he gets the grades that he needs).
On one hand I would really like to go with him and help him 'settle' into his new 'home' but on the other hand I think it might be better (for him and me) to say goodbye to him in the privacy of our own home as I know I'm going to make a fool of myself
I feel very very emotional about him going to University (especially one that is so far away from [email protected] a five hour drive) for lots of different reasons and I know that I am going to struggle to keep it all together on the day.
I know if I ask him he will say he doesn't mind.

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BlessYourCottonSocks · 30/05/2020 19:53

I didn't go to any open days. I was working on the days DD went off. She drove herself to them, and didn't want me/DH to come with her.

I drove her to move into student accommodation. Lugged all the bags upstairs and waved cheerio. On the other hand I'm a hard hearted sod and wasn't teary. I don't think I'd have taken her if I'd been struggling to keep it together.

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Ginfilledcats · 30/05/2020 19:54

Pretty much everyone I knew at uni had a parent drop them off /come with to help unpack etc.
Loads of mums cried. Loads of students did. Some didn't. Literally no one commented. Up to you

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MoseShrute · 30/05/2020 19:55

Good lord. Of course you should take him. EVERYONE has their mum and dad there dropping them off....lots of tearful goodbyes, but how awful to just let them arrive all on there own. Go and help him ffs...

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poppy2021 · 30/05/2020 20:04

Yes you will cry, but you will regret it if you don't go. I needed to see where they were staying. I took them for a big shop so I knew they'd be ok for a week or so. Said goodbye and wept buckets on the way home. You and your son will be fine

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redbigbananafeet · 30/05/2020 20:04

I'm guessing you're American?

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NotEnoughTime · 30/05/2020 20:06

He wouldn't be on his own MoseShrute my DH (his Dad) would be with him.

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pumpkinpie01 · 30/05/2020 20:08

Yes you should go ! I took my daughter last September, we are very close and we both knew we would end up crying . But better that than have her being the only one without a parent to help her carry everything and unpack. Definitely go

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pumpkinpie01 · 30/05/2020 20:09

Just seen your update , yes you should both go.

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Embracelife · 30/05/2020 20:10

Up to you. If dad going that s fine. But maybe you could enjoy the time driving back with dh .

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NotEnoughTime · 30/05/2020 20:15

No, I'm English redbigbananafeet Smile

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peajotter · 30/05/2020 20:15

One parent is enough. Go if you want to but as long as he has an adult to help then he’ll be fine.

I am from a big-ish family. Did all the open days / interviews on my own but I did have one parent to drop me off with my stuff and pick it up at the end.

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HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 30/05/2020 20:16

First year my parents dropped me off and stayed overnight in a Premier Inn as it was a long journey. Subsequent journeys I made my way back by train or plane depending on what was cheaper. I'd recommend reserving basics like duvets etc at the Uni town argos that way you can pick it up when you get there instead of carting it all up in a car.

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