Is anyone planning on NOT accompanying their DC to university?

[NotEnoughTime]

Could I have your thoughts and opinions on this please?

If your dc wants to do it all alone then that's great!

One parent is definitely enough as it leaves more room in the car for all the stuff!

I've always taken mine. At the beginning of the first year they wanted me gone as soon as we'd unpacked the car. so that they could start making friends with flatmates or those living next door. No time for tearful farewells!

DC's 1st choice university is a good 10 hour drive. So I'd have to stay overnight. I'm strongly considering not taking them. I'd much rather send some of their stuff by courier.

I'm with Ken Dodd on this.

Back in the mid - 80s all the people I knew arrived by train, a few may have been dropped off by car. Students having their own cars was almost unheard of, although trains were relatively affordable then.

Surely the whole thing is about growing up?

Although my brother left for University in 1979. Dad drove him and his stuff up there, and then they bought a car (him and his mate, between them) in his first year, which rather tells a different tale.
At my (local)

Also, life is differnt now, from 30 - 40 yrs ago.poly in the 80s, plenty of students had cars.
At both my sisters' universities, my parents took them at the start of their first years - all in the 80s.

Went to open days and dropped them off and picked up when they started.
2 dds and one step ds.
They don't travel light

Dd1 is 16 so uni thoughts starting to occur now😱 open days next year and off the year after. We will definitely take her on her first day! I can clearly remember my first day being dropped off! Not sure how you'd get all your stuff there if not?! Plus having help to set room up .... mum made up my bed etc then they took me to a supermarket and bought me a trolley load of food!! I can't imagine not doing the same!

I went in 1983 parents took me on first day, usually I came home by train but Dad drove me back . Some of my fondest memories of my Dad are of those drives to Durham and our chats. I usually drove up and he drove back . Precious times .

My parents dropped me off, but never went beyond helping my get my bags out of the car. We said bye there and they left.

If you're saying his Dad is gonna do that anyway, then it doesn't really make any difference to him if you're also there or not, does it? One parent vs two, same thing.

So basically it's about what you would find easiest, since you said you know you're going to be really upset.

Back in the mid - 80s all the people I knew arrived by train, a few may have been dropped off by car. Students having their own cars was almost unheard of, although trains were relatively affordable then

1985 - dad took me up with all my stuff. We went for a pint after. The pub was full of parents and students. I did have a mate who went up on his own. The sum total of his possessions were a wallet and a book of french poetry. Seemed to do.OK.

One parent is enough. I did know someone who went up alone and he did later end up going no contact with his parents, I think it was symptomatic of wider issues with them. He said it made him "feel different" when seeing virtually everyone else with a parent.

I took my DC on their first days. We lived overseas so was a bit more tricky. We were in the minority though and I do think that level of independence is great. We barely go back, it is their time.

When I went to him, my mother stayed at home...dad took me. I always took my dcs on my own on their first day.

I think your reasons for not taking him are all about you, frankly.
How about taking him, checking out his kitchen space, filling up his freezer, making his room look nice?? That would be all about him and he would appreciate it.

Of course you should go, most parents do. DC1 had a move in weekend so we met some of the other parents. DC2 had a move in week, so we helped her move in on the first day (and bag the best cupboard and fridge shelf in the kitchen).

I'm a mid 80s student too and I got the 7 hour train journey on my own.
We did have duvets provided!
As it happens my aunt lives in the town I went to university in and she met me and got a taxi with me.
I'm pretty sure you can get "student essentials packs" to buy and I'm sure you could get them online.
But then we didn't have mini fridges, our own bedding and toaster and kettle. I bought my posters at the weekly poster sale. What else do they need?

When I went to uni I traveled there by train with one suitcase and one rucksack. I went alone.

My parents didn't have a car. I was quite shocked when I got there to see how much stuff people had. It never occurred to my parents to take me.

I’m all for adults being independent and not mollycoddled but as others have said, it’s less about ‘needing mummy and daddy there’ and more about having someone beside you as you make a big life change - and the practical help of having a car etc.

My parents drove me to Bristol, we went for a lovely pub lunch together, went and dropped all my stuff off at halls and then they said goodbye. I then proceeded to not unpack my stuff but go get drunk with my flat mates, one of whom is still a very good mate 15 years later. Nothing to do with lacking independence! I did the train after that for ends and start of term except when I was moving out of a place when usually a parent would come and play ‘man and van’ to assist.

Well technically it doesn't have to be a parent just a second person to help transport the stuff. I guess the family butler could do it

Dh and I both went to university in 1991 and back then pretty much everyone was dropped off by at least one parent. I don't know anyone who made their own way there -at that time before or since. It certainly didn't seem the norm. In fact I only ever hear about people going alone on Mumsnet.

You should go but not hang around for long.

When we took DD last year, everyone had at least one person/parent with them. Lots had just one, lots just a father. We both went plus DD15 as we stayed up there overnight the night before.

In the normal scheme of things yes, dropping them off is a good idea. I think this year will be very different though. I imagine there will be much stricter timed arrivals, less rushing about trying to sign up for student cards etc, perhaps not those lovely pub lunches....basically less encouragement to hang around.

Why would you go with them?! My family just waved me out of the front door to catch a bus to the railway station!

This was 1985 so admittedly quite a while ago.