Is Oxford only for rich families?

[Foslady]

My dd is taking GCSe’s Next year and her school are having various universities in to talk to the pupils. When the Oxford representatives came they mentioned that due to circumstances for one of the colleges there was a very generous bursary you can apply for. This particular college has the course that dd wants to study and now she’s thinking ‘why not?’. I want to support her in all her choices, academically she is quite gifted, and yes, there is a huge time period before university application, but I don’t know if we are the ‘right’ kind of people for Oxford. Up until recently I was a lone parent on a low wage. I now am with my partner but money is still tight (and to be honest if she was awarded the bursary it would be amazing , a massive help). I don’t want to ruin her dreams but at the same time, in reality, are they feasible or am I just kidding myself?

That’s a very interesting comment Enb. I frequently see words used to describe better off students on these threads that are utterly derogatory and rude. I am often appalled at the lack of understanding directed at both ends of society and there is no effort made by some to see beyond background to the human being.

The difference between students is frequently confidence. If a DC really hasn’t seen a quad, and it genuinely worries them, a parent should take DC to see one. Smooth out any concerns before term starts. However, as in all walks of life, you have to accept those around you and I quite agree that standard questions help students find their friends. At some RG universities which hall you are in might determine your background so you don’t have to look too far to find friends. If you join the rowing club you surely know many will be from public schools and will know each other because they have competed against each other. That’s inevitable because it’s a niche sport! If you joined netball or hockey or football participants would be from a wider background. Again it’s a case of finding out where you are comfortable.

I think DC who worry about accents, who lack confidence around others not like them and don’t feel at home in older buildings can be helped to overcome this before university.

You are completely ridiculous Bubbles. A lot of people don’t live near to a quad. A lot of people don’t have the time or the money to make a special visit to a quad. A lot of people don’t actually know what a quad is before they see one.

“If a DC really hasn’t seen a quad, and it genuinely worries them, a parent should take DC to see one. Smooth out any concerns before term starts”

Yep. That’ll do it.

Gosh bubbles you are completely barking up the wrong tree. I think you are completely unaware of your privilidge.

Of course I can provide my kids with experiences and they probably will have visited university cities before we apply so it wont be unfamiliar at all.

However.... to an average local grammar school kid the whole quads/Oxford experience is completely "other." Of course it is. I suspect comments like yours are one reason why people go from posh private school/oxford quads/ Parliament and then make lifechanging decisions with no real awareness about the lives of people they make them for.

I had no idea rowing was "posh" or "niche." I knew its what people at Oxbridge did and in my tiny college it was what a lot of us did! It was ace and I loved it, have fond memories of being on the water at 6am.

I loved meeting people from all walks of life. I now move in a variety of circles but you cant underestimate the leap it is for those from, quite honestly, "normal" backgrounds (given private schools is what 6-8% of the population and posh public school even less so.) It smarts of real victim blaming and a true unawareness of privilidge.

Of course apply to Oxford and mix and it is fantastic and a true privilidgeto study your subject with great minds and meet people. But comments like yours go to show why there are less applications from minority groups or schools from less privilidged areas.

My boss until recently was at mansfield College Ox for 10 years. V state school focused. A good mix of backgrounds. Best of luck to your dd. (oh and to add if you don't ask you don't get re fin support)

And yes I didnt know what a Quad was!! Other than a thing with 4 sides. Or why dinner was so "late" (7 when I used to eat at 5.30 every day). Or why we needed to dress up to be welcomed to the uni. Or what 101 Oxford slang meant - I enjoyed getting to know it all but it was clearly familiar to most in my year!

Even now chatting to people from other universities that I meet it was a very different experience! Of course. Its part of Oxbridge charm. I vividly remember chatting to a friend several weeks in when I'd done 4 or 5 essays and she was worried about her first deadline!!

And on that note about quads:

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/9027812/A-first-with-honours-for-the-student-who-rejected-Oxbridge.html

:)

But Ive hugely digressed from OPs point which is of course Oxford isnt only for rich families and definitely apply. But be aware there are some people like Bubbles who will be just plain rude but ignore them ;)

I can't see any rudeness myself. I think you're imputing rudeness where there isn't any, perhaps because you don't agree with the point being made.

user1494050295 that's incorrect. The most financially valuable bursaries by far come from Oxford via the ordinary SFE application. You don't have to do anything in addition.

Okay what’s a quad? I thought it was a square bit of grass surrounded by buildings ... I think I’m missing something here (I went to university in Whitechapel no grass there )

It's a sort of bike.....

No quads at Keele (grass not bikes)

Okay what's special about them? campusoxford.com/what-is-a-quad/

Whitechapel has a helicopter sniff

But not a service station. Or sheep.

tru' dat!

(there is a city farm in Poplar)

Our local kids primary school has a quad in the middle where the little kids have play-time. Our hospital has quads, little areas between the buildings with a few plants. In fact I've seen quads all over the place, up here in the backwards, under-funded North.

Now I get architecture varies and not everyone will have seen them, but why are they any more intimidating than any other kind of architecture that a person hasn't seen before, like a tower block, the shard, or a mulit-storey car-park? Reminds me of a recent holiday to a very rural part of North Yorkshire, and over-hearing a local chap mention how his wife loved shopping at that 'new-fangled supermarket thing'. We all have things that are new to us that other people take for granted.

It's not quads per se, it's ancient quads that seem more like cathedral cloisters with a chapel on one side

Quads are quite different from cloisters but some colleges have those too.

I've just been looking up something on a particular college website but it really is this simple:

'If you are intellectually able and academically ambitious, then apply – regardless of where you are from. If needed, we have financial resources to help.'

That message is on the Queen's College website but applies to all colleges equally.

I would say that for someone who can't get past the fact of quads and cloisters then perhaps really Oxford is not for them. They're superficial and a hang up about them suggests superficiality too.

I was that 'superficial' 18 year-old who did not consider applying to Oxford. I believed, incorrectly, in hindsight, that I simply did not belong. I wasn't even from a particularly underprivileged background. My perceptions were very much formed by images of Brideshead Revisited and Bullingdon Club and Oxford conjured up a world of wealth and privilege where I did not belong.

Cambridge and Imperial held far more appeal. The reason I ended up in Cambridge was by pure fluke. For some reason, I did not associate Cambridge with Oxford. I presumed that Cambridge was similar to Imperial but based in a small rural town. While I certainly had the confidence to believe that I belonged to an academic elite (I was overconfident, in hindsight!), I certainly did not see myself as part of a social elite.

That’s interesting abilockhart. I saw someone on another thread mention a relative was thinking of applying for Cambridge because they didn’t think they’d fit in at Oxford (with the implication being that Oxford was too posh). It puzzled me at the time because I’ve always thought of them as being interchangeable but I suppose the Brideshead/Bullingdon associations could be to blame. As you say, it’s an inaccurate perception but maybe that’s where it comes from.

abilockhart how long ago did you graduate?

They are expected to work really hard and excel, no coasting. If she's up for that let her try. You can always change in 2nd year if really miserable. She will get to know a lot of people who are going to be politicians, lawyers, journalists and influential in society. However they will not accept her and she will not be one of them. If she can accept that, and try to break through the snobbery then she will benefit from her education. Good for her for being ambitious, slowly things will change through such bravery, she may move away from home a bit, but if relationships are good that should not be a problem. Good luck

'She will get to know a lot of people who are going to be politicians, lawyers, journalists and influential in society. However they will not accept her and she will not be one of them.'

Missingstreetlife I assume you're taking the mickey?

abilockhart the architecture of Cambridge is even grander and surely more off putting for that, even if quads have a different name over there. So you did actually manage to get past that.

I guess more people have absorbed the Brideshead image of Oxford than the image of Cambridge portrayed in Porterhouse Blue.