It's real now - leaving home to go to uni (part 3)

[user9512736123]

Here you go @Lucysky2017

Just dashing off to work but for you all.

We dropped DS off on Saturday. He's a 3 hr drive away. This is his 2nd attempt at Uni. He went 2 years ago, completed 1 year, then decided it was not the course for him. He had a year at home during which he has worked in a High St store and is now at a different Uni doing a completely different subject.

Even though he has been away before it is much more difficult for me this time as our Dd died a few months ago so the nest is now very much empty.

I felt that after we dropped him off. We stayed nearby for about an hour and a half before driving home.
I am glad he is only a couple of hours away, I know I could go and visit him quite easily.
Today I need to clean his room, could be tough
I'm sure it will get better.

DD got there, taken to the station this end by her brother and met at the other by the kind daughter of a MNetter.

We got back from holiday to a heap of stuff in the living room and a stream of texts requesting more. I am gathering my breath and will drive down today with it. Her poor dad has not seen her for four months so is likely to visit within a couple of weeks, presumably taking anything that has been forgotten.

So far so good apparently. Accommodation nice, flatmates friendly. Lots going on including a set of smaller/quieter events for those with SpLD.

Oh, bigbluebus, I'm so sorry. puts things into perspective for the rest of us.

Bigblue

I decided after DD ate all the fudge and caramel out of my birthday chocolates at the weekend (including the ones on the bottom layer before the top was finished) that maybe she is ready to go to uni.

Once she's gone, I will miss all those annoying things.

bigblue

BigBlue....I am so sorry.I hope your son enjoys it this time round.

I am all muddled.My mum died the early hours of yesterday. We are currently staying in her housecas we live nearly 3 hours away.dp and ds get back from holland today. Ds to start uni at weekend.I have to arrange funeral and can only find mums passport and bank statements.we will need to go back home to pack all of ds stuff for uni. I have phoned funeral place and need to ring solicitor as well. I feel very anxious!

Doobydoo, how awful. Many condolences.

Do find the kind people on the elderly parent board (under other topics) where there is lots of experience, knowledge and support.

And also to BigBlueBus. I hope it works out this time for your son.

Ooh doobydoo am so so sorry hear this. Try not to take on too much. Can you delegate any of the mum stuff to another family member so you can focus on your DS? Is he ok? Will he want to start uni before the funeral or will he be able to get back for it? Take care of you deep breaths and remember it's ok to just stop and do nothing. I lost my mum last year and it's a whirlwind of emotions and things but you must look after yourself. Here if you need anything but for now and hugs

Thanks everyone for the flowers and chocolate.

So far Ds seems to be settling in and says his flat mates are "nice". He has some introductory talks this week so will meet his course mates. None of his flat are on his course.

So sorry Dooby. My son lost his grandfather pretty well on his first day at university. It wasn't easy but we got there. Please TRY and look after yourself as well as everyone else.

Bigbluebus and Dooby , so sorry x

Bigbluebus and Dooby

All the best and look after yourselves.

Condolences to bigbus and doobydoo. I lost my mum last year so know how it feels.

My DS has just gone back for second year, just wanted to say to all first year mums, do give yourself time, in hindsight it probably took me to summer term to really get used to him being away. And he was home or we visited a lot as only an hour away.

Today feels odd, first day off work for months without someone else around (DD17 at college). I am missing him again but also looking forward to some time alone!

I think as long as they are making friends & settle into/like the course, then that is all that matters in the first term. DS did settle and make friends much quicker than I thought, which probably helped me a little. And I think the first Christmas is nice, as its almost like a reunion. Even though he did have more attitude than before he went!

Spare a thought for my friend. She was widowed 2.5 yrs ago (expected after a long illness). She had both DDs home in the past year as eldest on a year out, living at home. Both away this year as youngest starting uni, she will truly have an empty nest. She is a very bubbly, positive person, but still not looking forward to an empty house. She coming to visit us next weekend after dropping off youngest.

Sorry for your loss Dooby. There is a MN bereavement topic under Body and Soul if you need support, a virtual shoulder to cry on or practical tips on arrangements.

Thanks you lot

dooby

A frind of mine was similar, she had to drive to the uni an hour after she received the call

Hope you are ok and find all the bits you need, people who deal with the admin for this are usually very kind and helpful

bigbluebus 💐 I'm so sorry, as others have said, puts it in perspective

Sorry about your mum too dooby

So sorry bluebluebus and dooby

It's good to put things into perspective sometimes. DD was blue lighted to hospital just before her GCSEs and suddenly they weren't important any more. All I care about now is her health and happiness.

YY I agree HSMM. Our children have gone to University, that's all. They will be home for the holidays. If it turns out Uni isn't for them they can come back and do something else. If they have a ball and love it then that's great.
I am repeating that to myself today.

It is getting easier a week on but still can't get the amount of contact right. Want to text every five minutes and find out excatly what DD is doing! DD only answering with one word text message as a protest!