Preparing for Uni in 2015 continues...

[Chillywhippet]

New thread

Old one here with loads of info

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/2408327-Preparing-for-Uni-in-2015

Dd off tomorrow.
Car packed.. She did everything.
So excited.. I am not sad that she is going as it will be the best thing for her.
I have a small vibrator wrapped for her

Well, I've done it.
We found it easily, it was quite central, the SU was close by. On arrival it was really busy so DH stopped with the car on double yellows and DS and I went to reception.
There was a party atmosphere with loud disco music pumping out of speakers and a BBQ going on.
They sent 2 Spanish girls to help us and carried some bags for us, he's on the sixth floor!
His room was fine, I forgot my camera so no pics.
He was clearly uncomfortable and didn't want to put anything in the kitchen and wouldn't let me help him unpack.
We cleared out quickly, as he clearly wished,and he walked us down to the car.
I was fine for about half a mile the I sobbed most of the way home.
Any young person would find that atmosphere intimidating but add in Asperger's which means you don't like noise crowds or change! How the hell is he going to cope?
I'm relying on .

My DD has been gone a week today and has contacted me everyday which I imagine will get less. I am missing her ridiculously, she has done holidays and such but this feels so different. She did ask me to visit today but for hers and my sake I said no. I think we both need longer. I can honestly say I am feeling bereft over this.

Marianne it has been similar here with my DS.

Cooroo

Horsemad that will be us next week in an Innkeepers' Lodge. We have also had a long hard slog through sixth form and I often wondered whether DS would get to Uni.

Bigblue that all sounds very difficult. I think I would wear the sunglasses anyway.

We are more prepared now but DS will need to sort out his clothes. I expect he will wash everything he owns. This time next week we will be driving home, I think. I'm not looking forward to that part.

dontwantto.... I know exactly how you feel - I have another DD at home with a chronic illness and now realise how much I relied on my DD1 for company and another person to talk to! I have spoken to her everyday too - she is bored tonight and spent ages on the phone - it feels so strange that she is there and we are here - I don't like it at all!! We have a day out arranged for 3rd Oct and she won't be coming home until then - wobble :'(

missdemelza My DS is also on the autistic spectrum. He arrived at Uni today too and similarly due to parking and DS being keen to get rid of him, DH was only there about 20 mins. I have messaged him this evening but not got much info and no idea how he's actually feeling having being dumped 7 hours from home - his choice.
I am so worried he is going to crack with the strain of so much change all in one go. I am on the too.

FIL died last night. PIL live the other side of country and MIL has dementia (but in a safe place & well cared for).

DD due to go off next weekend but she will be a long way away. We are struggling to think about the logistics of funeral arrangements (which DH will have to arrange), university drop off, exchange student and other children.

Well after one false start (dd realised she'd left her laptop behind a few miles down the road!) we got here ok in spite of heavy traffic at times. However it was rather rushed in terms of settling her in her room- a long queue to get the key & then she found out there was a meeting she wanted to go to at 5 so no time to do anything other than unload the car quickly. It all felt very rushed but we will see her again in the morning. Hopefully she has unpacked & made up her bed before going out tonight!

Sorry to hear that Mossagate

Dropped my DS off. We were fine, excited, so proud - it has been a real achievement for him to get where he is.

He was so sad. Called me very briefly for student number and sounded down in dumps. Was off to a welcome talk and haven't heard since - so fingers crossed , he's breaking the ice with some folk.

He finds new social situations very hard. But he got to uni and course he really wanted and feels so proud about that so I just hope that sees him through initial period.

I love reading all your stories

with bigbluebus.
I've had one distressed phone call when he couldn't get on to the Hallls wifi, one terse text and a lovely FB post.

I can't stop worrying about how he's getting on, it's soo hard, isn't it?

Having a wobble!! Feel alone - husband in bed after a 14hour work day - youngest in her room resting (has ME and no energy for talking to mum) and eldest at Uni!!!

missdemelza I expect my DS has attempted to get onto wifi but I don't think he'd ring me if he couldn't as he thinks I'm a dinosaur where technology is concerned.
I've just messaged him again but not getting very much info. He says they are about to go out - somewhere! He is a rural boy in a big city - I hope the others are more streetwise and they stick together. DS doesn't like discos/clubs though so I hope they just head to a pub.

quietly I'm in a similar situation. DS gone to uni today. DH took him and not back until tomorrow and DD (who has severe disabilities and is non verbal) is in bed. Everywhere in the house is a reminder that DS has gone. His bedroom is empty and I see it every time I go to DDs room, the shoe rack in the hall now as an empty row on it and there is a spare coat hook - and most noticeable is the fact that the kitchen is still tidy since I last wiped it down.

cheers to all who have left their DC behind at uni.

It is so hard wondering if they are happy and safe.

Really, really hard for those of us with DC who have SEN - mummy protective bond is sooooo strong.

Me too, feeling very alone DH gone overnight for work. Looking at photo album just makes me think how time has flown by. Times like these I wish we had had another child.

Very late to the thread and joining in after the event, but so good to read all your experiences
Took DS'yesterday and he is having an absolute ball already, despite forgetting to pack some really quite important things (frying pan) and him, inexplicably not knowing his home address (WTAF???)

DD had an awful time for the first eighteen months at University, she was very ill, mentally and physically, and very shy. She has only really started to enjoy it since January. So to have DS so enthusiastic and happy is a lovely surprise.

norks not knowing home address made me laugh. Really sums up the young adult almost independent thing.
So glad to hear your DD settled eventually. I can imagine one of my younger DCs having similar issues.

Hugs to those of you trying to adjust to your DC being there rather than here. And they can't be here AND there.

nork sorry to pry but if you don't mind elaborating, what sort of things were making it hard for your dd unhappy? . Im worried that dd will not enjoy uni, as she's quite shy too, bit quirky and not the out going type. So far she's been alright, but uni hasn't properly started yet.

We had a good drop off earlier today, plenty of parking right outside and once unloaded we could park all day over the road for free. Had a walk around and took dd for an early dinner before leaving her at the 'welcome meeting'. She's text this evening to say she's out at a local bar with her flatmates.

Her room was bigger than we expected and she wanted to unpack straight away so we helped her find a place for everything and put her stuff in the kitchen. She seems really happy.

Mainly so much illness, bagpuss. She missed most of freshers week and a lot of social events at the start of term, so never got into the sorts of clubs and events that she now enjoys, quieter, calmer, more reflective.
Mostly though, it was a year of illness, so she never quite got her social life going, and when she was well, she had to catch up on her work.

She seemed to turn a corner last December, her health has been steadily improving, and she has lots of good friends now and has even got a little part time job.
We are very very proud of her.
For DS this was always going to be relatively easy, for her it has been a real battle, and she is winning at the moment.

What a nightmare getting to my dds uni, got stuck on the m4 at newport dam rugby. I got caught in again on the way back. Dds room is ok few things didnt work but hope to get them sorted.
All her stuff is put away and i took her shopping for food, should last her for a month or so.

Few tears when i was coming home, rang her when i got back and she was ok.

Cooroo and Mossagate How incredibly tough for you. I'm so sorry.

We took ds today and it wasn't exactly the happy and fond farewell I'd imagined. He realised he'd left his phone behind so after a false start we arrived quite late. The bedding packs we'd been told we could buy weren't available so dh and I had to fight our way through stationary traffic to find a supermarket which sold pillows. DS couldn't get wifi, his key card didn't work and our social and friendly lady's man ds refused to open his room door or meet any of his new corridor mates who were all busy greeting each other outside his room. We all ended up snappy and irritable with each other and finally leaving with a chaotic goodbye on the street in a crowd of pub crawlers. We then got lost on the way home.

Vodka is she at Cardiff?

She is at Tresforest not far from Cardiff.