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Guest post: "Muslim women are diverse, funny and opinionated – not #TraditionallySubmissive"

214 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 27/01/2016 17:00

As a mother of two girls, I'm constantly anxious that they don't suffer from the gender penalty as they grow up. This is the penalty that props up the glass ceiling, that restricts their access to the corridors of power, that makes their pay packet lighter, or that reduces them to their body and looks, and continues to disproportionately burden them with childcare and household chores.

But as a Muslim mother I also worry that my daughters live in a society that does not see them for the people they are or give them the space to flourish as individuals. Instead, they are on a perilous slope towards being seen as part of a homogenous group of oppressed, dehumanised creatures. Front page headlines today proclaimed that "Muslims are not like us". It's yet another example of the constant hostility faced by Muslims – especially Muslim women – in the UK.

My heart sank last week when I woke up to the news that the Prime Minister had said Muslim women must do more to integrate. I mean, I love queueing, I can talk at length about traffic and weather, and I'm on Mumsnet. What more does he want?

His aim is to get more Muslim women to speak English and he announced a £20 million fund for English lessons. I've always been an advocate of how important it is to speak the main language of social engagement, and I've been involved in running workshops encouraging women to better express their voices and opinions. So I'm all for English lessons for those struggling with the language. But this was the same Prime Minister who cut £45 million funding for English lessons this summer.

His clumsy and lazy characterisation of the 'Muslim women problem' stitched together ideas of Muslim women as segregated from society and responsible for extremism, and led to the all-too-familiar headlines casting Muslim women as isolated, illiterate and oppressed. However, he admitted that there was no causal connection between not speaking English and extremism. But the damage is done. The misleading portrayal of Muslim women undoubtedly exacerbates an increasingly hostile environment; attacks against Muslims are up 275% since the Paris attacks and Muslim women make up 60% of the victims.

If I wasn't already angered enough at this, I nearly spat out my morning coffee when I read reports that the Prime Minister had privately suggested that a major reason young men are vulnerable to radicalisation is the "traditional submissiveness" of Muslim women.

I responded in the most British way possible – with sarcasm. After all, we are always being told to adopt British values.

"Actually, my husband runs my Twitter feed because I can't speak English #TraditionallySubmissive" I mocked on Twitter, adding "I bought a sports car and published a book (in English and eight other languages). I must be doing this wrong."

I wasn't the only one to feel incensed. Other Muslim women took up the hashtag. Dr Sukaina Hirji, a GP based in London, posted on her Facebook page "I and many others have been extremely hurt by David Cameron's article in The Times earlier this week, specifically (and incorrectly) targeting Muslim women's apparent inability to speak the English language and loosely linking this to radicalisation (multifactorial causes) and Female Genital Mutilation (cultural practice)."

She made a public call to Muslim women to "show solidarity and speak out against this discrimination" by tweeting and posting selfies during a coordinated period to create a Twitter storm with the hashtag #TraditionallySubmissive.

On Sunday evening, the hashtag was quickly trending in the UK and continued to trend until Monday morning, with over thirty thousand tweets sent so far. These ranged from pictures of Muslim women graduating, hiking, fundraising, skiing and boxing, to others holding placards listing their achievements - including speaking multiple languages.

Coverage of the Twitter storm has been global – and this is important, because women's voices must be taken seriously, and Muslim women are part of the 50% of our population that is consistently under-represented and under-served. Muslim women are vibrant, diverse, funny and yes, opinionated. And that's a good thing. We want to make things better for ourselves and for those around us. And we hope you will support us in challenging the idea that we are submissive, pathetic little flowers.

OP posts:
Likereally · 28/01/2016 06:46

Brilliant post, MistressMia. There's nothing 'hilarious' or 'diverse' or 'empowered' about the niqab-covered women I associate with. Hateful religion

Eh? I am glad I (as a veiled woman) i do not know you, you sound pretty hateful yourself.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 28/01/2016 07:24

TheNewStatesman I wondered that too.
I know plenty of Muslim women who don't wear the headscarf but Muslim women are always depicted as wearing headscarves.
I also wonder if it puts some kind of social pressure on young Muslim women to wear the headscarf.

Likereally · 28/01/2016 07:44

So now it's not even about 'helping' cough Muslim women it's about saving them from their religion?

The hijab (head cover) is a part of the faith, people being people chose to wear it or they don't wear it. It still makes it a part of faith.

Whether other Muslim women are snooty about those that don't wear it is besides the point, that kind of judgemental behaviour is not right and says more of the person than anything else.

Oh! but this is about their language skills - strange (or not so) which issues this topic deviates to.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 28/01/2016 08:05

That's just the nature of discussion really. It sometimes deviates.

I was listening to LBC yesterday and the presenter - James O'Brien - said he didn't want to talk about Muslims any more as the media seem to be far too focused on Muslims.
He said something like 'you can't buy a house anymore. Your kids may never be able to buy a house but Look over there! a Muslim!'

I do think he has a point.

sportinguista · 28/01/2016 10:08

Islam is a faith, muslims, male or female are primarily human beings, their faith is only part of the whole person. Most of them have work/career, family, mortgage, bills, hobbies etc as the other parts.

Met one of my friends up the road who happens to be a muslim, she was wearing a wooly hat, so go figure, I don't think there's black and white in it all, just shades of grey.

She also told me that many of the blokes were leaving all the decision making in the house to their wives as they were too busy and that the ladies were better at it anyway.

OttiliaVonBCup · 28/01/2016 10:22

There is a reason NHS trusts are using interpreters and it's because friends and family always have an agenda. Sometimes they only wish the best, not to upset with bad news or soften a blow, sometimes their reasons are more sinister.
Sometimes the family are too upset by the bad news themselves.

Relying on family for going to the doctors, the council, social services is dangerous for all involved.

Good for you OP, for the book and the sports car, but what about those who don't have a voice?

And BTW, it's a bit ironic that in telling us just how British you are you have broken one of the most important rules, do not boast.

Likereally · 28/01/2016 10:58

Yes, everyone should learn English to go to the doctors, communicate with the council etc etc. Just like alcoholics need to stop drinking and smokers need to stop smoking as otherwise it will kill them.

I'm exaggerating, but the issue is far more complex than that (apart from the fact that everyone hates to go to the doctors and I've never had to communicate with the council myself (yes leave the husband to sort things out despite being perfectly capable of communicating in English!)

These things take time and people need support on a community or grassroots level.

I've lived in places where people have jumped when they've seen me, I've had comments thrown at me - it is thus kind of behaviour which makes the kind of people that Cameron is trying to help retreat back into their shells/communities and feel isolated (just one side of it of course, other reasons being simply not bothered as the family set up is different in these communities).

Again, there are so many reasons why people don't speak English/don't integrate - and thus it is idiotic and nasty for Cameron to make it into an issue in the manner which he has.

It would be far better to focus on real problems in this country, the NHS for example, than create a furore to distract people from the real issues that affect everyone.

OttiliaVonBCup · 28/01/2016 11:23

In a way it is an NHS problem Really, the NHS would save a lot on interpreting services.

It might be only one of many reasons people don't integrate, but then why not address it?

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/01/2016 11:45

I don't think it is fine that people live in Britain without learning the language. The NHS requiring interpreters costs money, I can't imagine how demeaning I would find it to have my husband or child translate for me constantly. At my gp surgery I have seen a man be told his young child was not an appropriate translator for his wife's medical issues and if he could attend with her instead, they would not treat her.

I don't think it's fine Brits abroad don't learn the language of the host country, yes they absolutely should learn it I find it bizarre so many don't,q but it can't be argued that English isn't a significantly more universal language.

Iwantakitchen · 28/01/2016 11:48

I know you are trying to make a point, OP, and you make it very well, but if you think that integration is about being able to talk about the weather and understanding the mysterious ways British people queue, then you are off the mark. I am not British, I have been living in this country for nearly 20 years, and English is my third language, and I know how isolating it feels, and how difficult it is to cope financially when emigrating to a different country. Maybe it is put across in a clumsy way, politicians are trying to put in place some kind of support (superficial maybe) for a specific group of people who yes, I believe are isolated, first by lack of language skills but also socially and financially. It's hard to believe that in this day and age, women don't acknowledge that there may be issues within their (local, social, faith) community and welcome proposed support...

littleducks · 28/01/2016 12:29

But it isn't proposed support. Only muslim women can attend the courses. The previous courses funding have been cut.

So instead of muslim women attending courses and integrating with others of another faith they are segregated more.

Women from similar cultural backgrounds but of a different faith are now excluded.

English lessons are good. Women's groups to support women new to the country or possibly vulnerable due to their circumstances are great. But cutting funding for these things then announcing that muslim women need to learn English to stop extremism is a bit rubbish. It reinforces a stereotype. It makes muslim women who are contributing and integrating into society feel ignored and unvalued. It lumps together people who share a faith (although Islam has its own branches and differences) ignoring cultural and linguistic differences that are probably far more of a factor in learning English.

Iwantakitchen · 28/01/2016 13:14

So you are not acknowledging that they are a vulnerable group?

FaFoutis · 28/01/2016 14:30

I work in adult education and my experience is that there most definitely is a 'muslim women problem',and these are women who can speak English.
Some of them study in secret, I'm not allowed to contact them in case it is seen. Some just disappear from the class. Very rarely does a muslim woman get to the end of the course. These women are not visible on Twitter or whatever.

IPityThePontipines · 28/01/2016 15:58

English lessons are good. Women's groups to support women new to the country or possibly vulnerable due to their circumstances are great. But cutting funding for these things then announcing that muslim women need to learn English to stop extremism is a bit rubbish.

Exactly.

I'm also sick of hearing about Muslims all the time in the news too and I actually am one.

"And BTW, it's a bit ironic that in telling us just how British you are you have broken one of the most important rules, do not boast."

This is a rule broken multiple times a day on Mumsnet. I hope you are also questioning the Britishness of those posters.

littleducks · 28/01/2016 16:34

Iwantakitchen- muslim women are not a vulnerable group. There are definately groups of muslim women who are vulnerable. I think women who arrive on marriage visas who can't speak English irrespective of their faith are 'at risk'

littleducks · 28/01/2016 16:38

If doesn't make sense to me that a muslim (immigrant) working as a GP or a teacher would be offered English lessons but a non muslim women she comes across in her line of work who appears vulnerable and can't speak English can't access English lessons due to her faith (or lack of).

FundraisingPTABitch · 28/01/2016 17:07

I think that David Cameron could have phrased things better, but I do feel that no woman is helpless.

I also feel that maybe he needs to phrase things so a majority of the population understands and supports his proposals.

The general public doesn't understand Muslim women, they can't relate to Muslim women.

He's a PR guy. He wants the rising population of Muslims to be able to integrate in the community. A woman speaking the common language is much better than a man speaking the language. A woman (more often) counters more people in a day than a man does.

I think it's a wonderful thing to target Muslim women for English lessons. I believe that Muslim women have a great amount to contribute.

whataboutbob · 28/01/2016 17:17

I agree with most posters here. For too long politicians have said nothing around issues seen as sensitive, for fear of being branded racist. Of course Cameron will get called an arrogant upper class English knob. There are Muslim women out there who are educated, articulate, comfortably off etc. The classes are not aimed at them. With 25 years in the NHS what has often struck me is the high proportion of women from south asia who have diagnoses of depression- not exclusively muslim, but hindu as well. It is usually the ones who do not work outside the home and who speak no english. They often have a long list of ailments many of which are probably made worse by their low mood. I remember a few years ago a controversy about the ready availability of interpreters, and asian women were being interviewed (via interpreters) to say it had been a bad thing because it had kept them in the margins of society. Well, now a solution's being offered.

FundraisingPTABitch · 28/01/2016 17:17

Also, for the past few decades (most women) who have been contributing have been doing so as just women. Leaving other parts of their identities to the side.

My own mother who is a multi organ transplant specialist for the Airforce had to present herself in a way so that what she had to say would get further without being hindered by who she was/is.

Everything about her had to be invisible so that her thoughts and ideas could go somewhere. She didn't care that much about her religion, her ancestry or her personality. She didn't mention that she was a mother--how many kids she had or anything like that. (80s-90s).

The world is different now. Faith is okay to have, a personality, individuality--work life balance, family and children. These days, you are more than welcome to make an effort to live the life you want.

Becoming a contributing member of society for everyone is a wonderful thing. It makes the world better.

FundraisingPTABitch · 28/01/2016 17:21

My point is, she cut her hair, wore boring clothes, didn't even accessorise--her nails were short and (normally, she is the most fabulous woman I have ever met)...

Now you can have any name, wear your hair any way. You can paint your nails. You can be you, and what you have to say is valuable as long as you say it.

OttiliaVonBCup · 28/01/2016 17:37

if you can say it, FundraisingPTA, a bit if.

januarybrown1998 · 28/01/2016 17:59

I wore a veil and abaya for a year when I was 15.

After I learned Arabic at school, it was slightly easier to communicate.

But nobody wanted to hear what I said. I was female. I didn't matter. My brother was eight. Everyone wanted to hear what he said. I felt mute and invisible.

I will never ever take for granted my freedom to speak; to write, to travel, to live. All women should be so lucky.

The gorgeous smiling women in the photos aren't the ones Cameron is talking about and it's disingenuous and insulting to the silenced worn to pretend it is.

Enough faux outrage. These women live in the UK. Help them to speak.

mouldycheesefan · 28/01/2016 18:14

Exactly, Cameron is not referring to educated articulate middle class women.
But the English lessons should be for any women who would benefit, there are plenty of illiterate non-Muslim women around. And men.

IPityThePontipines · 28/01/2016 18:21

David Cameron branded all Muslim Women as "traditionally submissive", not just those who don't speak English. It's fair enough to be annoyed about that.

As for helping women to speak, I did not vote for this government, nor did I vote for the massive cuts they made to ESOL. I would be happy for those cuts to be reversed.

I am tired of this government cutting services (usually against all sound advice and evidence) and then blaming the former service users and providers for any subsequent problems.

Likereally · 28/01/2016 18:28

Who actually believes that Cameron has anyone's interest at heart!? He IS an arrogant upper class nob!

Teach the minority to speak and write English, and the first thing they will do is vote Labour after seeing what he is. Result!

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