Guest post: "Muslim women are diverse, funny and opinionated – not #TraditionallySubmissive"

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As a mother of two girls, I'm constantly anxious that they don't suffer from the gender penalty as they grow up. This is the penalty that props up the glass ceiling, that restricts their access to the corridors of power, that makes their pay packet lighter, or that reduces them to their body and looks, and continues to disproportionately burden them with childcare and household chores.

But as a Muslim mother I also worry that my daughters live in a society that does not see them for the people they are or give them the space to flourish as individuals. Instead, they are on a perilous slope towards being seen as part of a homogenous group of oppressed, dehumanised creatures. Front page headlines today proclaimed that "Muslims are not like us". It's yet another example of the constant hostility faced by Muslims – especially Muslim women – in the UK.

My heart sank last week when I woke up to the news that the Prime Minister had said Muslim women must do more to integrate. I mean, I love queueing, I can talk at length about traffic and weather, and I'm on Mumsnet. What more does he want?

His aim is to get more Muslim women to speak English and he announced a £20 million fund for English lessons. I've always been an advocate of how important it is to speak the main language of social engagement, and I've been involved in running workshops encouraging women to better express their voices and opinions. So I'm all for English lessons for those struggling with the language. But this was the same Prime Minister who cut £45 million funding for English lessons this summer.

His clumsy and lazy characterisation of the 'Muslim women problem' stitched together ideas of Muslim women as segregated from society and responsible for extremism, and led to the all-too-familiar headlines casting Muslim women as isolated, illiterate and oppressed. However, he admitted that there was no causal connection between not speaking English and extremism. But the damage is done. The misleading portrayal of Muslim women undoubtedly exacerbates an increasingly hostile environment; attacks against Muslims are up 275% since the Paris attacks and Muslim women make up 60% of the victims.

If I wasn't already angered enough at this, I nearly spat out my morning coffee when I read reports that the Prime Minister had privately suggested that a major reason young men are vulnerable to radicalisation is the "traditional submissiveness" of Muslim women.

I responded in the most British way possible – with sarcasm. After all, we are always being told to adopt British values.

"Actually, my husband runs my Twitter feed because I can't speak English #TraditionallySubmissive" I mocked on Twitter, adding "I bought a sports car and published a book (in English and eight other languages). I must be doing this wrong."

I wasn't the only one to feel incensed. Other Muslim women took up the hashtag. Dr Sukaina Hirji, a GP based in London, posted on her Facebook page "I and many others have been extremely hurt by David Cameron's article in The Times earlier this week, specifically (and incorrectly) targeting Muslim women's apparent inability to speak the English language and loosely linking this to radicalisation (multifactorial causes) and Female Genital Mutilation (cultural practice)."

She made a public call to Muslim women to "show solidarity and speak out against this discrimination" by tweeting and posting selfies during a coordinated period to create a Twitter storm with the hashtag #TraditionallySubmissive.

On Sunday evening, the hashtag was quickly trending in the UK and continued to trend until Monday morning, with over thirty thousand tweets sent so far. These ranged from pictures of Muslim women graduating, hiking, fundraising, skiing and boxing, to others holding placards listing their achievements - including speaking multiple languages.

Coverage of the Twitter storm has been global – and this is important, because women's voices must be taken seriously, and Muslim women are part of the 50% of our population that is consistently under-represented and under-served. Muslim women are vibrant, diverse, funny and yes, opinionated. And that's a good thing. We want to make things better for ourselves and for those around us. And we hope you will support us in challenging the idea that we are submissive, pathetic little flowers.

Owllady, I agree with you. These attacks on minorities and even on sizeable groups who are in some way vulnerable should be challenged way more than they are. I am sick, at a time when our govt is engaging in actions that are truly reprehensible, of being told that the the problem is 'over there somewhere; no, not you not me, but him/her, that one who isn't one of us' and of this being allowed to be the political agenda.

The Tory MO is to present the most vulnerable, marganislised members of society as "the problem". It can be those of "benefits", the sick, the poor, migrants - any minority group without the means to fight back. Let your pals in the gutter press do the dirty work - millions lap up the hate. When the left try to fight on behalf of the marganalised they are derided as extremists, out of touch etc.

regenerationfez, I'm not disputing that living in a country is generally easier if you speak the language. However, it's perfectly possible to rub along well enough and do the things you want to do with the help of friends and family without ever becoming proficient or even getting beyond having a few words' knowledge, and there are plenty of people in all corners of the world who do so and who have done so for a long time. To suddenly single out the members of one faith group and say that them doing what plenty of people worldwide do is a problem is indicative of another agenda entirely.

What if you don't want to just run along albeit with the help of your friends or family?

What if you want to work, visit your GP, learn to drive?

Rub along.

Well, if you're looking to Cameron for the answer to your problems in that situation, you're screwed, given that he's just effectively cut the very service that could help you to the tune of £25m.

I'm not expecting Cameron to solve anything.

I just think it is most odd that it is seen as fine that a grown woman can't really leave the house without a relative or friend. Hardly empowering. Or are women only considered equal some of the time?

It's all politics.

Let's distract the public from the failing health services, drug problems, poverty, education crises, and funding wars abroad.

Instead lets (imperialistic style) save the few hundred Muslim women who can't speak English get freedom from their backward cultures.

Like seriously - who is misled by this stuff?

What is odd about seeing it as fine for a grown woman to decide what language she speaks? If she doesn't want to learn English, or see the need for it, why should what Cameron thinks make any difference to her. I think it's far more insulting to judge a woman's intelligence/independence/propensity to have her child grow up to be a terrorist on whether or not she speaks English. Do you think that the English immigrants on the Costa del Sol are also disempowered and should be given state-mandated Spanish lessons in order to be considered equal?

I love this idea of Muslim women being traditionally submissive. I lived in Egypt a long time. Cameron would be ripped to shreds in a matter of seconds by many, many of the women I knew. There's a reason why the Egyptian slang for "wife" is "el hoqouma".."the government"!! Submissive is a bloody joke.

As for not speaking English..so many Muslim women I know across the world speak not only English better than many native speakers, but a multitude of other languages too. How many does Cameron speak? Perhaps if he really wants to make a difference to all these poor submissive souls in headscarves he could actually record a speech to them in Arabic, Farsi, Urdu..etc. Unless of course that would mean he's speaking "terrorist".

Sorry. Ranting a bit!

OP I'm sorry for what people like him promote and think "privately" about people like you and most of my friends. Of course that makes no difference to you in reality. But know this: I and many others do not agree and our children are growing up in houses that don't agree with him either.

Lastly, best suggestion I saw on Twitter this week was the offer of English lessons being extended to the EDL! It could only be topped by a "traditionally submissive", veiled polyglot as a teacher!

As a comparison - we see a lot of eastern European, mostly Polish immigrants, as clients at the vets where I work. The children have the best English ( I assume due to school) and often act as translators for the parents but the parents catch up a lot - it's noticeable when seeing a dog in for a yearly vaccination how much better the parents' English is after a year. My impression is that the women are often slightly better than the men perhaps because (massive possibly false generalisation) the men tend to work on building sites and the women tend to work in coffee shops and beauticians so do a lot more talking. All the adults are young and, almost without exception, employed.

But how would anyone know that she is happy not speaking English?

If she is not happy she should be able to access services to help her. David Cameron has cut those services.

Er, by knowing her maybe? I'm thinking of the dear old ma's of quite a few friends of mine - came to the UK a while ago, never bothered getting quite up to speed on the lingo because they didn't have to - ready translators at home or amongst family friends for official things, don't need to speak English at local community/mosque events of which there are many so they'e out and about and active loads - and by God you know who's in charge of the family. It's actually quite amazing that anyone would think otherwise - there is a lot more to power than what language you speak. I do the smiling/nodding thing with them and with a bit of gesturing and a smattering of Arabic (me) and a few words of English and more gesturing (them) we can get through the basics eg how the kids have grown etc - it's all fine, nothing sinister, just how different things suit different folk.

I'm not on Twitter so can I ask how many of the women posting the selfies are wearing a niqab?

www.ibtimes.co.uk/do-no-brand-all-muslim-women-traditionally-submissive-there-difference-between-cultures-1540175

don't get me wrong I think Cameron is an arse and won't do anything to help matters.

However, Cruikshank, your smattering of Arabic isn't really on par with having an in depth conversation with someone as to whether they are happy and maybe wanted a bit more out of life.

Being in charge off tor family isn't really any kind of power and let's not pretend otherwise. Getting an education and the possibility of a job (if you choose) is.

Brilliant post, MistressMia. There's nothing 'hilarious' or 'diverse' or 'empowered' about the niqab-covered women I associate with. Hateful religion.

Do you think that all Muslim women are the same as the not funny, non diverse, disisempowered, niqab-covered women you associate with Thirty?

There are Muslim women (and people of other religion, race, ethnicity...) who cannot speak english. If some of them are helped I think this is a good initiative. Of course the majority can speak english, use social media, have jobs....but some can't and we mustn't let their predicament be drowned out because of some clumsy language used by a politician offending some people

Spot on!

And I really do wish that the able Muslim women we know of wouldn't forget the above either.

*don't get me wrong I think Cameron is an arse and won't do anything to help matters.

However, Cruikshank, your smattering of Arabic isn't really on par with having an in depth conversation with someone as to whether they are happy and maybe wanted a bit more out of life.

Being in charge off tor family isn't really any kind of power and let's not pretend otherwise. Getting an education and the possibility of a job (if you choose) is*

I understand what Cruikshank is trying to say in all of her posts but the bottom line is that living in a country where you don't speak the language can never be a good thing for anyone.

Not being able to speak the language you live in really does stop you being part of the fabric of it.

How can you do more than smile and nod if you don't know what people are saying to you? How can you engage in political discussion and exercise your democratic rights? How can you earn independent income? How can you ensure that your children are healthy and doing well at school when understanding the system is beyond you and you can't have any meaningful dialogue with their teacher or GP (and things like the admissions system are completely bewildering when you are a native English speaker!)? How can you feel part of the neighbourhood when you can't chat to the neighbours?

Why on earth should a woman have to have their child or husband translate all this stuff for them? Why aren't we wholeheartedly supporting the proposition that learning the language is an empowering and important thing for anyone to do?

sure, criticize the peculiar position of cutting services then announcing a special fund for the same thing. Be angry that this is linked to countering extremism. But please don't tell me that you think it's acceptable for large numbers of women to live in the UK without being able to engage with their fellow citizens, because it isn't.

A bit off topic butwhy are Muslim women even described as Muslim women and not women from other country, migrant women, women who speak other languaes, etc. I've always found this strange that no one else is identified by religion as much, you never here Americans described only as Christians for example.
If a Muslim man commits a crime its "Muslim man raped woman" I've never heard "Christian man rapes woman"
Surely there's Muslim people from all different places with their own different cultures so its a pretty weird way to describe people isnt it?

Looking through the Twitter thread, I'm struck by the fact that virtually EVERY SINGLE woman is wearing a headscarf.

I grew up in the North of England and there were quite a lot of Muslim people; I don't think headscarves were anything like as universal back then, in the 90s.

Is this a general trend, or are Twitter users much more likely to wear headscarves? Genuine question.

As for the language thing: I am an immigrant in another country and I do know some fellow Brits who don't speak the local language well. They are not counter-cultural heroes, they are rude and a pain in the arse. And they cause a lot of inconvenience to the people around them.

I know of quite a few non headscarf wearing mums at the school. My husbands colleague's wife does not wear one and my son's friends mum does not either. It is not a requirement but it does come down to family attitudes, some are ok with it, some are not. I think they do wear it when attending mosque, just as many Christian ladies wear a hat to church.

I do know that some of the more westernised ladies get flack from some of the more traditional ones for not being Islamic enough though.

On the subject of English proficiency, some do struggle with English but many are Brit born. Our school runs esol classes which are open to all, as some of the Polish and Roma parents struggle with English too. Dave's classes should be open to all as its not just Muslim ladies who struggle. They should be open to everyone. Our local women's centres also run them already and they are ladies only but open to all ladies not just if one faith/nationalities. My husband struggled with English in the beginning and still struggles with his written, there was no help for him without paying as he was working. Fortunately he met me and I had taught esol so we worked on it together!

I do think British ex pats living abroad should be made to speak the language of the country they are living in (although that's up to individual countries really). I think it must be very isolating to live somewhere where you can't speak to the majority of people.