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Original poster

This doesn't look terribly good, does it?

232 replies

Rindercella · 03/05/2010 14:20

DH took himself to A&E this morning as he is in such pain and although he had a hospital appointment for a scan on Wednesday, he could not bear the pain and discomfort he is in any longer.

For the past 6 weeks he has been suffering from lower back pain which has become increasingly worse and for the last week or so has included pins & needles/jelly like sensation in his legs. Initially the GP said it was a kidney infection and gave him some ABs (the first he has ever taken, at 51 years old!). These had no effect whatsoever, so DH went back to the GP who then diagnosed possible kidney stones and got him booked in for a scan & ultrasound treatment. The GP said that the swelling in the groin area DH had was unrelated and probably just a strain (it didn't hurt DH so he was unconcerned).

The hospital have now admitted DH and have said that it absolutely has nothing to do with his kidneys, but they are concerned by a swelling in his neck and also the swelling in his groin and think it could be a problem with his lymph glands. They are hoping to do an MRI scan in the next few hours, but obviously being a bank holiday this might not happen until tomorrow.

Bloody Google - of course now I am imagining the worst and am worried sick. I guess there's nothing anyone can do or say to reassure me at the moment, but does anyone have any clue what this could be?? I feel so helpless - stuck at home with our two little girls, the youngest of whom has just turned 5 weeks old.

Shit.

OP posts:
cyteen · 04/05/2010 23:32

Is there anyone around for you to talk to tonight?

I have to go to bed in a minute but I'll be thinking of you and making those non-religious prayers they don't really have a word for. iyswim.

Original poster
Rindercella · 04/05/2010 23:33

I know exactly what you mean, and thank you

I can talk to my lovely SIL if need be. I am sure to be kept awake by DD2 a lot of the night anyway, and SIL told me to call her at any time, if I need to.

OP posts:
overthehill · 04/05/2010 23:46

What an awful time for you, Rinders, and extra difficult with a tiny baby. I'm not a medical person but I do work in a hospital and it sounds as though he may have some kind of lymphoma. Please hold on to the fact that a lot of lymphomas and other cancers respond very well to treatment, even though this can be quite gruelling. So even if the worst happens and he has got cancer, it may well be curable.

bellavita · 05/05/2010 06:41

Just want to send you and your DH my best wishes and hope that you have a good outcome.

DH is in the best possible place and is being looked after. You need to make sure you get looked after too especially having a baby to see to.

SamanthaFox · 05/05/2010 06:58

oh Golly, Rinders I'm really sorry that the news isn't better.
What bloody bad luck.
Yes I am a namechanger, I used to be FA. I have always thought you seemed lovely too, fwiw!

Overthehill is right. It depends very much on the type of cancer, as to how curable it is - some are eminently treatable and very likely never to return, once treated.
It's worth bearing that in mind at the moment until you have a clearer picture.

I'm glad Cyteen was about last night, and sorry I wasn't. Hope you have managed a tiny bit of sleep.

Lots of love x

cyteen · 05/05/2010 09:36

Morning Rinders, I hope you got some sleep and had lots of cuddles with your girls Definitely hang on to what you don't know - it sounds counterproductive, but don't assume the worst. It sounds like he's been getting really good treatment and hopefully he's had a comfortable night, which if he's been in lots of pain in the run-up to now will have made a big difference to his state of mind.

Original poster
Rindercella · 05/05/2010 10:13

Thanks again for your replies. Sam, I thought I recognised you

I had a lovely long chat with DH last night, and we've exchanged loads of tezts this morning. Cyteen, you're right about the pain relief making a huge difference to him. Even on Monday I could see the difference it had made - he didn't look at all ill.

One major thing is that all his vital organs have been thoroughly checked and are in A1 condition, so that's got to be reassuring. He is also incredibly fit - both mentally and physically. His father died at 34 years old (when DH was 9 - the eldest of 5 children), and I think because of that he just faces whatever challenges are thrown at him head on and until the worst does happen, he just gets on with things - iykwim.

I will be able to go and see him this afternoon. He really wants to see the children too (and DD1 really wants to see her Daddy - DD2 just wants milk and lots of it!). MIL is coming tomorrow, which will take a little of the pressure off me - she can help with DD2 as DD1 is the one demanding my attention.

God, who'd have thought this shit could happen?

Have a friend coming over in a while, which will be nice.

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 05/05/2010 10:45

Oh, Rindercella, sorry to hear the news is likely to be not brilliant.

I'd just want to second what others have said, much as the 'C' word is scary and rightly so, it so very much depends on what cancer exactly he has. So many things have a hugely high cure rate now.

I am glad he is in less pain which must make things a lot less distressing all round.
I hope you and the DDs get to see him today and that your MIL is going to be a great support to you.

This is exactly the kind of thing that always happens to somebody else... until it happens to you .

You sound v strong but continue to look after yourself as well. Hope you will have a positive day with some answers and a plan for the way forward.

Nessarose · 05/05/2010 10:59

Rindercella,
I am an hour away from the JR, if you need anything shout, Thinking of you and your dh

Rindercella · 05/05/2010 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PacificDogwood · 05/05/2010 11:14

My fingers are so very crossed for your DH and you.
May I join the non-religious prayer? Sending lots of good vibes.

Nessarose · 05/05/2010 11:14

No it does not mean that it is cancer, my uncle was there last year he had Diverticulitus(sp?)

What a lovely middle name your dd2 has.

Remeber to look after yourself.

cyteen · 05/05/2010 11:14

Hold that thought Rinder Glad to hear people are there for you, and of course MN will be here too whatever the outcome.

bumpybecky · 05/05/2010 13:01

sending very best wishes xxx

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 05/05/2010 14:07

I can completly understand why you are worried. If it is a malignant growth then this really is the best place for him, it's really reasuring that the MRI didn't pick anything else up though. They don't really know what it is at the moment though, it could be nothing. If it is the worst case scenario though it's been picked up, it looks like it's not spread, he's healthy and staying positive, these are all really good signs.

Sending you all my love though

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/05/2010 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmRenewed · 05/05/2010 15:23

Just seen this rindercella. So sorry. You must be so worried. But as everyone has said please try not to assume the worst. Fingers crossed for your chap

BudaisintheZONE · 05/05/2010 15:32

I have just seen this too. Don't 'know' you but have seen you around. Very sorry you are going through this.

FWIW MIL's nephew had a tumour on his spine at age 17. It was removed and he is now in his 30s and married with 3 children. Fingers crossed that if there is something then it is treatable. From what you say your DH is strong and in good health otherwise. That is good.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyProxyVoter · 05/05/2010 16:11

Also hoping that whatever he has is something eminently treatable. Thank goodness he eventually overruled the GP and went in.

101damnations · 05/05/2010 16:43

I've just seen this and had to post.My sister nannied for a little girl who was diagnosed with a spinal tumour.She was only 3,so far too young for radiotherapy,it would have caused too much damage.However,she is a healthy 8 year old now and although she may need further treatment when she is older/bigger,she attends school and is just like any other 8 year old.I'll keep you all in my thoughts.

MoChan · 05/05/2010 20:44

You don't know me, but having seen this, I can't stop thinking about you. Sending you best wishes and good vibes.

ajandjjmum · 05/05/2010 20:55

Just to say there's someone else thinking of you too.

Original poster
Rindercella · 05/05/2010 21:05

Thanks all. Veyr quick post from me...am exhausted and have yet to get DDs to bed!

Back from hospital and unfortunately, DH has been diagonsed with prostrate cancer. He's strong, fit and it hasn't spread anywhere else, so fingers crossed...

Thanks for all your wishes. I have lots of wonderful friends and family rallying around. Hospital is fab, especially I think seeing me struggle in with new baby & toddler. xxx

OP posts:
weegiemum · 05/05/2010 21:07

Good and bad news Rindercella.

Glad that you know - and prostate is one of the more treatable adn curable cancers. Also fantastic news it hasn't spread anywhere.

Bloody scarey for you all though.

Thinking of you all x

notnowdave · 05/05/2010 21:13

Oh Rindercella

Thinking of you and your DH

Thank God it's been diagnosed quickly and hasn't spread. Am sure treatment will get under way v quickly now, and echo the sentiments expressed by Weegiemum