Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Please can someone help me. Im in so much pain and I dont know what to do.

992 replies

spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 00:02

I have had horrible pains all day..... they feel like periiod pains. As the day has progressed they have been getting worse and worse.

Nurofen isnt touching it. Im totally exhausted by it and just want to sleep. Im sat here crying because I dont know what to do. I took painkillers nearly an hour ago anf they just arent working and I just want to sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 15:33

Yeh the dr just called and said I have a positive result but that he thinks im losing it due to the pain and some bleeding. So he has refered me to the early pregnancy unit. Could hear it in his voice that even he thought I was a total idiot.

I cant tell my mum. She would be really disapointed with me. My family hate my exp. I should never have slept with him.

My best friend is on her way over so hopefully that will distract me a bit.

OP posts:
Brollyflower · 19/04/2010 15:34

Oh goodness, what a lot to cope with on your own . Do you have someone to go with you to the scan and someone to mind the kids?

Be gentle with yourself and keep talking if it helps. I think miscarriage assn have a helpline if that's what it turns out to be and you need a real person to talk to.

Lots of hugs.

ShowOfHands · 19/04/2010 15:35

You are definitely pg? And have weird bleeding and one-sided, quite serious pain? I suggest you might need a scan sooner rather than later. Can you get a referral to the epau for today? A&E will refer you up to gynaecology otherwise.

And the gp does not think you are an idiot. Nobody thinks that.

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 19/04/2010 15:39

I would insist on a scan today. Now in fact.

Good luck.

Original poster
spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 15:40

the appointment is for tomorrow morning. He didnt think it was ectopic because the pain has gone down so much.... im just uncomfortable now. Feel like soeone has kicked me in the stomache.

Exp will have to have the kids tomorrow although he is going to complain because he's supposed to be working. if he wont then I will just have to take them with me. He is the only one who knows.

I just feel like I have made such a mess of my life. I have made so many bad choices and done so many stupid things. Perhaps this is my punishment.
Sorry..... i know i must sound rediculous.Im just worried. I dont know whats going to happen or what to expect from the clinic tomorrow. I live next door to the hospital so its easy enough to get to.

OP posts:
Julezboo · 19/04/2010 15:44

I have been the EPAU lots. They will scan you and if nothing is visable they will take blood to measure your HCG level.

And hey we all make mistakes, just dont make the same mistake twice!

Jajas · 19/04/2010 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piratecat · 19/04/2010 15:45

well i hope you get sorted out spooky. I thought tho, you hadn't slept with anyone for months? yet no period since 22nd feb, you were overdue then?

Had you been feeling any symptoms of being pg?

ShowOfHands · 19/04/2010 15:45

Pregnancy, unplanned or otherwise, is not a punishment for a life lived a certain way. Miscarriage is a sad and common fact of life. One that many of us, including myself, have suffered. It is not a punishment. I know why you see it that way right now, but you know that the world does not work like that.

At the epau, they will probably ask that you drink plenty of water so they can try for an abdominal scan. If they cannot see what they need to, they will ask you to empty your bladder and they will do a transvaginal scan. This is a probe with a condom and some gel on it. It is mildly uncomfortable sometimes but not painful and the staff are very good indeed. They may also do blood tests.

Please take a good friend along with you. Childcare is probably essential too. At the very least somebody to sit with the children outside of the scanning room and to wait for you to come out. The actual scan is no place for your children and it's better that they are not with you. Our epau do not allow children in.

morningpaper · 19/04/2010 15:50

I agree - serious, one-sided pain, a positive pregnancy test and bleeding - I would not wait any longer for a scan

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 19/04/2010 15:50

I don't want to alarm you Charlotte, but when I had an ectopic the pain subsided as well. Your symptoms sound just like mine.

I really think you should get a scan now. Take the kids with you if you have to.

Original poster
spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 15:55

I had a "fumble" wasnt really anything propper was drunken but I know we used contraception because my mum found the foil wrapper and was asking questions the next day. I had a period the week before the 22nd can remember because I was pleased i wouldnt be on whilst we were away on our holiday.... had another one since then so would have been due on some time laast week maybe. Sorry i didt reeally make it very clear. No symptoms of pg. Normal periods every month etc.

I will try and get hold of exp and let him know he will need to have the kids..... if nnot my older sis might help although I will have to tell her whats happening.

OP posts:
Brollyflower · 19/04/2010 16:01

I agree you need to be seen sooner rather than later.

I too have been through miscarriages and epau are v good generally. Howofhands has given you an accurate description. Do you know when you conceived approximately?

You might find reassuring info on this website.

Pregnancies happen all sorts of ways, lots of them far from ideal. GPs will have seen it all before and it's not their place to judge anyone. Right now you need to focus on looking after you. Have you eaten something today and had a cup of tea or something? What about the kids? Can you give your mum some sort of explanation that will keep her happy and encourage her to help you tonight? It'd be better not to be alone with the kids if you can while you're going through this. Your feelings are bound to be all over the place. So much to take in.

AitchTwoZone · 19/04/2010 16:04

right, i'm sorry, but the doctor simply CAN NOT decide that your pain going down means it's not ectopic. believe me, they know fuck all about eps at A&E. it could mean, for all he knows, that your tube has burst and released and that you are slowly but surely bleeding out... you simply MUST have a scan.

and what are your dates? when did you last have sex? prune juice bleeding is classic sign of ectopic preg, as is one-sided pain, intermittent or not. please don't piss about, ep is the highest maternal killer today.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 19/04/2010 16:05

So how many months do they think you are?

Original poster
spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 16:07

I asked exp to stay over and sleep on the sofa..... he said yes but it was a "oh god if I have to" type of responce.
I dont really want to be alone incase anything happens and the kids need me but at the same time I dont want him here if he is going to make me feel worse. Hes very self obsessed and right now I would just like someone to give me a hug and mke me feel better. he wont do that.

OP posts:
AitchTwoZone · 19/04/2010 16:07

right, so you had a period on the 22nd? but it wasn't a period, was it? not if the one opportunity to get pregnant was before then? so you have to stop thinking of it as a period and start thinking of it as your pregnancy beginning. you could be about 8 weeks pg, classic time for tube to burst.

Original poster
spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 16:08

it would probs have been about 3 or 4 weeks ago that we slept together.

OP posts:
Original poster
spookycharlotte121 · 19/04/2010 16:10

Normal period on 22nd of feb and the following month.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 19/04/2010 16:11

spooky, are you listening to people on here? An ep is not something you feck about over. A good friend had exactly the same symptoms as you, they subsided, A&E sent her home. A rupture, emergency surgery, loss of a tube and a lot of blood later, she was v lucky to survive.

I am not scaremongering. It is a serious concern and one that needs addressing sooner rather than later.

Brollyflower · 19/04/2010 16:11

OK, listen to Aitch not me. Ring the epau and explain you think it is ectopic. Stress the one sided pain. Make a big fuss. If that fails try A&E.

www.ectopic.org.uk/medical_information/symptoms.htm

Lulumaam · 19/04/2010 16:11

agree totally with aitch

you have had a +ive test, massive pain, bleeding, one side pain and odd bleeding.

this needs sorting now

do not delay.
sorry you are going through this

AitchTwoZone · 19/04/2010 16:12

you really HAVE to get your head out of the sand here, spooky, and demand a scan from the EPAU. where are you, do you want us to look up the number?

Lulumaam · 19/04/2010 16:12

an old friend had an ectopic that ruptured. she almost died. it was really touch and go. very scary. you need a scan right now

MillyMollyMoo · 19/04/2010 16:13

Oh heck, you may not be loosing it, I've had exactly the same symptoms on three seperate occasions with this baby and am 33 weeks tomorrow.
Is your friend going to be able to support you through tomorrow ?