Can I stop forever?

[grahamgreenefanatic]

I need to stop drinking forever. I've always drunk to get drunk since I was 18, I'm now 45. Is it better to say 'never again', or 'small achievable steps at a time' Is there anyone out there who can help or who feels they need it?

Poshwellies,
I like the idea of teaching yourself something new, I've just redecorated the house and installed electricity..(doll's house actually, but still feels like a great achievement)
Actually, I'm not having problems with sleep, quite lucky there, Night Nurse ref. just a frivolous comment.
Keep posting everyone, I can't tell you how supportive I'm finding everyone. I think I may become addicted to forums..(this is the first one I've ever been on and have managed to fritter away my only day off/week at looking at other threads. The only thing I've done today is a little light sand-papering.
Tomorrow, it'll be nearly a week

Hi Ormrenewed,
I'm dead impressed. I've tried to cut down,esp quantities in one go. ( Not so bad at cutting out for a period) To be able to have 3 small glasses and stop is mighty good.You see, I'd have got to the exuberant stage by then, my joie de vivre, wit and repartee at it's best and I'd have thought what a good idea it would be to get an exponential rise to all of that by either continuing there, or coming home to jubilantly open another bottle. Of course, there is no expoential rise, just descent into failure, disappointment and hangover. How much were you drinking a night?
I was 45 last week and didn';t want to be drinking at 45 so gave up 2 days before b'day
I agree about feeling emotionally stronger

Will post later at vulnerable time. Now time to collect DC x3 and have piano, do supper, lunch boxes, ring a bell?

Over christmas I was probably getting through the best part of 4 bottles of wine a week. So well above recommended limits. Before christmas I was a bit better but still 3 probably.

when i was in my teens early 20s i drank to get drunk . One night i got really really drunk and made a complete fool of myself and was vomiting all over the place etc etc i said the next morning i am never drinking eveain and i havnt not a single drop and i dont miss it one jot i just need to think about myself and the state i was in and how i felt and i shudder i am 46 now so i personally would say cut it out all at once

*ever again

Worth flagging up that AA is not religious. It asks you to acknowledge that you are not centre of the universe and that there are things outside your control - can you manage that?

For many people, it also becomes a question of whether or not they have any better ideas. I didn't like "the religous aspect" myself. But nor did I have a better idea. I joined, am seven years sober, and am still an agnostic and proud of it.

Anyway, entirely your choice, but do look into it properly before rejecting it out of hand, because it does work.

Incidentally, as a recovering alcoholic, a slug of Night Nurse (which contains ethyl alcohol) is probably the last thing I need!

AA is not for everyone.

Miflaw,
Sorry, being frivolous about Night Nurse, haven't really ever looked at ingredients and just assumed it was anti- histamines. Will look again at AA. But still put off a bit, won't disregard it out of hand though.
OJFO, I am of the same mind. I won't ever drink agin whoops, I meant again

No offence taken re Night Nurse - just made me laugh.

Posh - you are absolutely right, AA is not for everyone. It is my personal recommendation because it has worked for me and lots of other people I know but, ultimately, it's just that - a recommendation. I can't recommend anything else because nothing else worked for me. That's why I'm in AA!

However, in a discussion like this (i.e. where the OP has indicated they may have a problem with drink, rather than just wanting to drop a jeans size) I do always try to present the facts, rather than the misconceptions, because I'd hate to see someone who it might work for miss out on the chance because of a misunderstanding or hearsay.

DMFIS,
A hearty 'Bully for You'. Will you ever go back to it?
Sound like you've converted, though, I know it's dangerous and misguided to feel 'cured'. Right now? I'm writing a thank you letter(!) with strong black coffee, a bitter lemon and a bowl of beetroot but no ethanol. BTW I still have half a bottle of red wine open plus a few bottles of unopened white. Is it better to banish all alcohol or relish that it is there, accessible but that I won't be touching it?
I really don't think I will touch it because resolve is very strong, but maybe being a bit naive??
What didn everyone else do?

Absolutely throw it away - why make life harder than it needs to be?

Do you keep any heoin or crack cocaine in the house just so you can feel good about not taking it?

It's gone.

That's what I'm not sure about and it helps to hear what worked for you, DMFIB. The enormity of 'never' versus the gentler 'not yesterday, not today and not tomorrow 'approach. I'M still not sure what stance I should take and whether it matters that I do decide one way or another.

Well past the danger time now, it's 7.30 and I've eaten

Glad you've got through your danger zone ggf,another day almost done eh? Excellent!

I work with people with all kinds of addiction problems and the evidence in my view suggests that:

1. Getting support is a really good idea, especially for people who are lacking motivation to either abstain or reduce or for people who have reached a slump. There are loads of services out there that offer one to one, group work, complementary therapies, drop in etc etc. There is even funding available for detox and rehab services.

1. Everyone is different and although some people can cut down some people absolutely have to give up for good. I have seen some seriously wasted lives and people who are entirely kidding themselves that their drug/alcohol use is manageable

1. AA/NA/CA works the best long term if you need to give up entirely. No doubt about it. However it does have a fanatical (if not religious) side to it, people can get obsessed with it and it can take over your life. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it can hardly be worse than some of the consequences of substance abuse. Going to a meeting can't hurt.

Best of luck, please deal with your alcohol problem while you still have the option.

Hi GGF

I'm still tee total.

I looked at the Down Your Drink website which is a kind of NHS thing and although didn't want to do the whole thing I found some of their advice helpful.

Particulalrly useful was their advice about tackling negative emotions & upsetting thoughts in which they include boredom. Have never thought of boredom in that way so this was good.

I don't fancy a group and AA seems a bit OTT and cultish for me but I do think it helps having the support of your DP, particularly in not filling the house up with bottles of fine wines (especially leaving half drunk ones in the fridge). So DP has been buying half bottles & mini bottles.

Now if I feel bored I just go an watch some crap TV. Have started lining up a nice thing to do as soon as DCs in bed in the time slot when I would normally crack open a bottle.

Keep up good work.

Well said, superchick.

AA certainly can be fanatical - I know people who, years on, are still going to meetings nearly every night, who seem to constantly be in transit from one "convention" to the next, whose proudest moment is to be asked to speak at the "top table" of such events ...

But they are a minority. Most of us go to a couple of meetings a week, share honestly, try to put a bit back, remember thsat some things are out of our control and, most importantly, one day at a time, DON'T DRINK!

I do understand the fear of AA being a "cult" or a "religion" as others have observed, but avoiding it on that basis strikes me as a bit like avoiding going for a run in the park on the grounds that some people end up running marathons. If you think there might be a benefit to you, go for it.

We gave up at new year last year and lasted four months.
This year we lasted a week with the promise that it would be just weekends otherwise it would have to be FOREVER. Then it was weekends and Wednesday. Now it's every night and the panic is beginning to build up.

I spent some time in hospital before Christmas and while they were investigating my problems I had to tell a lot of different people that I drank about 42 units a week. One Doctor asked in a shocked tone if I had had to have help from the detox team before my surgery. I vowed to myself never to have to tell a Doctor again that I drank that much.

I am hoping that in following this thread I can stop again. I actually enjoy the soberness, I feel like I get so much time back. Everything is more ordered.
I really don't understand why we do it.

I can't get to grips with AA as I don't understand why I have to admit to powerlessness.I have all the control in my life,a higher power does not control me-I control all my actions.

I don't want to sit forever more in rooms with others discussing a previous time/times when I had too much to drink.I don't want my whole life to be about alcohol.I want to move on and just live-I don't want to have to rehash and rehash over and over again,that drinking is not good for me,surely that obsessive overthinking is another addiction.

I'm not in denial and I'm certainly not saying AA doesn't work-it does,for thousands and thousands of people and I respect the organisation.It just isn't the ONLY option.

Hi Berrie

Hello You are doing really well.