Can I stop forever?

[grahamgreenefanatic]

I need to stop drinking forever. I've always drunk to get drunk since I was 18, I'm now 45. Is it better to say 'never again', or 'small achievable steps at a time' Is there anyone out there who can help or who feels they need it?

Oh and Milk Thistle is suppose to be good for your liver.

Kudzu is supposed to help with cravings.

Hypnotherapy...oh fuck it, if you really want/recognise it enough, you don't need those props. Smoke and mirrors....

Just call me PMTeasle btw...

Sorry, had a SHIT day...but I aint making excuses for myself to drink...

xx

Kudzu - that's it, couldn't remember the name. That's for pretty serious problems though so I believe.

iI havetaken kudzu before, a few years ago when I first really tried to 'get sober'. I don't know if it helps with cravings or not.

I DO know, that we can tell ourselve that stuff helps...but at the end of the day...kudzu, milk thistle or not, it was down to ME. As I said...smoke and mirrors.

Exactly. Right now I am craving beyond craving a cigarette, and it would be so easy to have one , but I won't...honest..

poshwellies thanks very much for taking the time to reply and for such an extensive list of possible allergens, yuk i'ts (almost) enough to put me off the stuff for good. I do suspect I am allergic to something in wine. I would however love to know the health niggles/problems that inspire drinkers to quit. The early warning signs I suppose.
MIFLAW thanks for the reply and the advice. Like most heavy drinkers though I am fairly clued up about my habit. I do learn a lot though from yours and others very well informed posts. Thanks.
Well done to all of you who are managing to stay off it, it ain't easy.

Thank you Teasle for your appreciation. Sorry you've had such a pants day yeaterday, has today been better?

You're absolutely right about about popping this, that and the other. It's a smokescreen to put us off addressing the real problem.

I nearly had a swig from the sherry bottle today, while pouring one for MIL, but didn't. I took MIFLAW's advice and had a spoonful for lemon curd..urggh. But it worked!

Coolma, you sound as if you're really struggling. You should be so proud of yourself to have triumphed thus far. I feel sure you have the wherewithal to continue. How are the Shingles?

Well, here's to another sober week ahead.
Thank you, lovely people for all your messages.

Ginger

I guessed you probably DID know what I was telling you, but thought you might like to be reminded!

To whoever said, "Good idea about the eating sugary things by the way,problem is I would then also be a creme egg addict too" - when I first went to AA, I was also worried (rightly so) about my smoking, plus I drank too much coffee, plus, when I was drunk, I was a bit too fond of fruit machines ... Someone gave me some very good advice, which was, "address your problems in the order that they're killing you." Even if this turns out to be true, once you've sorted the drink, you'll have all the time in the world to address your relationship with chocolate. Sadly, the reverse is not true ...

Hello all. Friday went very well & I am still doing well despite having a few stressful things to deal with this weekend.

I really enjoyed Friday and when questioned on my non consumption and how I could contemplate giving up for so long was just able to say - well I've had a good few years of fine wines so a year without is a drop in the ocean.

D&S - don't feel too guilty, I totally agree with GGF that you need a few mishaps along the way to really convince yourself about which way you want to go. It'll either strengthen your resolve to be more self disciplined next time or will make you think again about whether giving up totally is the best policy. Don't let it make you feel so guilty that you slump into generalised helplessness.

I love the story about the lemon curd GGF. Nest time I look in the fridge and feel tempted I'll force down a large spoon of the nearest conserve. Jam is one of my pet hates, it gets everywhere with its hideous stickiness.

Am not keen on herbal remedies - all rather expensive and no substitute for good old smugness which is totally free.

My plan for this week is to try out a few new mocktails from a book I have so will report in with any that are particularly delicious. Tried to buy some Angoustara bitters this weekend to have with tonic water but failed. They do actually contain alcohol but reckon that as you only need 1 or 2 drops that doesn't really count.

Have also bought some nice instant coffee - normally have to drink fair trade but have decided to relax ethical principles on this occasion although may have to smuggle it in to work in plain brown carton to get it past various right on people. I'm sure that it can't be as bad in general world well being terms as too many bottles of wine.

Am now on about day 37 but have slightly lost count. Looking forward to another drink free week of early nights and clear headed mornings.

Hope you are ok COolma.

Hello all, we have slipped off the front page so just bumping up again.

Where is everyone - has everyone slipped off the wagon and feeling too guilty to post? Don't be - that's what this should be about.

I am still fine. Am now on day 39 and although have felt tempted am managing to keep on straight and narrow. It does get a lot easier.

Anyway hoep to hear from someone soon.

Nothing to add except congratulations, MissNash!

Hi all, am feeling v sorry for myself as my shingles has returned . My eye is swollen and scratchy and I feel like poo. Went to the docs today who said I hadn't rested enough and needed to 'slow down'. Bugger. So having to take more time off work whcih I really hate doing. Oh well. I've lost about 6 lbs in the past week or so whcih is a tad worrying too. Am currently eating a large bowl of cereal with lots os sugar whilst squinting through my 'good' eye! Two weeks with no cigarettes and beginning to feel better about it!

Hope everyone is ok.

Oh poor you Coolma. I don't know anything about shingles except that it isn't very nice and can drag on and that the only cure seems to be rest.

Do you have the kind of job that someone else will do while you aren't there or will it pile up until you get back? That's the worse thing for me about having to take time off - I end up feeling worse than if I'd just gone in.

Thank you MIFLAW - nice to get some encouragement. The next big challenge will be going out for Valentine's meal but as its only DH it shoudl be fine as he is very pleased with my new tee total persona.

It's a bit of both. I'm the deputy director so there will be tons piling up and I love the job so it's a double whammy . And we have two people on long term sick and a new (knob) bloke who is really causing problems! I had to 'speak' to him yesterday and he cried!! so I felt like a complete heel - but, honestly, he is a PITA! Argh. stopstressingstopstressinggetbettergetbetter..

Not much to add here, either, except that I'm coming up for a month now. It is feeling much, much easier. I feel I've broken the habit of expecting then missing alcohol every night; although I'm not so complacent as to think I've not got to remind myself that I can't drink safely. It just feels easier now.
The other good thing is realising that every day is going to feel normal. In the old days, I used to anticipate feeling hungover after, say a Friday or Saturday or a meal out with friends. It's lovely to know I can go out and still feel fine the day after.
Sorry to hear how horrible you're feeling Coolma. Aren't you secretly happy about losing 6 pounds? I would be, esp. having given up smoking. That's one of the big things people giving up smoking worry about.
I would imagine your weight loss is simply collatarol damage from your Shingles, nothing more sinister and unless you are so skinny as to not be able to afford to loose weight, I'd think 'Hurrah'.

A month is fantastic! Do you feel better? Sleeping is much more deep without alcohol, and yes, waking up and actually feeling fine is such a brilliant thing!

The weight loss worries me as it seems to have been so rapid. People who see me every day have commented, so am a bit concerned. But I'm sure it is the illness. Feel really depressed right now

coolma so sorry you are feeling really crap.I would't worry too much about dropping six pounds, it is usually the body using up its reserves in a fight to get back on form.I have not had shingles but I hear it is horrible.Lets hope you are over the worst.Well done on the no smoking front,at least you are giving your body its best chance minus all the toxins.Be very kind to yourself and treat yourself in any way you can.Hopefully the brighter days of spring are not too far away.As you said on earlier threads go and have a super deluxe hot choc with cream and maltesers on top yum.

Wowza Coolma - its normally me doing the crying about work stuff - not other people. W
That must have been a bit of a nightmare - maybe if he's still on probabtion you can suggest that maybe the job's not for him but not sure how that works with all the current employment legislation.
Maybe he will become less knobby with time.

I'm not surprised that you're feeling depressed (I mean that in a nice way) but I guess you have to say nothing I can do about it - I am ill and do all you can to get better soon. Hot choc with cream sounds like it could be the thing or maybe just a big bowl of delicious soup. At least being toxin free is a help although its always crap getting ill when you are doing something that you think should make you feel better.

Well done GGF. What about you D&S - how you getting on and any news from posh?

up and ready for another moderate/abstinence weekend.My 25cl bottle of chardonay is winking at me like a quarter size chunk of mars bargood luck Graeme Greene,Coolm Miss Nash and all the rest of our posse on another test of our will power.Will report back to base the good,the bad and the sheer silly drink or non related drink incidences as it were,take care.

Is 25 cl one of those mini bottles?

Never got the hang of units or sizes. It was counted in bottles of wine, or bottles, half bottle of spirits. I still struggle to understand when people say 'I had x amount of units'...wtf does that mean?

Perhaps I am imperial, more than metric...hhmmmm.

teasle- it is one of those tiny ones, you know one splurt and its gone. It is the only wee dram I can have before I enter into the silly zone.It is prob2.5 units methinks a mere fraction of my former Friday night sessions.

Hello all

What has happened to everyone over Valentine's weekend - all given in to the lure of magnums of Moet or still sipping a cranberry &soda?

I am polishing haalo as have kept on wagon and had lovely valetnine meal with Dh. No drink meant no arguements about vaguely contentious subjects and actually found myself enjoyinh food and relaxing.

Now it is lent can approach abstemiusness with renewed vigour and have ready made excuse. Howeevr am finding even excuses are getting easier - just say that am having a break affter all these years of wine and roses. no one asks any further.

Hope all are well and happy to provide a lsitening ear for minor indescretions.

Been away for half term. We had friends over to stay in our rented cottage one night. I have to say that I found it inordinately hard that night, with wine flowing etc.. have got to come clean, swigged equivalent of a glass (about 125mls) from bottle when no-one was looking. It didn't make me feel better and only made me feel guilty and still vulnerable to temptation, but I was 'soft-drinked out' and envious of the growing exuberance of everyone else.
So back on the wagon. I've realised that it's easy at home with no-one around, and OK when out with friends in their home or pub etc.. when it's hard is when friends come here and wine is opened and I am being 'mein host', then it's so hard and I'm not sure what disincentives I need to put in place to stop the craving.
Hope half term was good for everyone else.
We have friends coming to stay next weekend and the weekend after. So lots of temptation round the corner. Must sit down and write strategy, any helpful hints out there??
Come on, MIFLAW, I need telling off...

Tell you off? Not a bit of it.

But I imagine you already know that, if you aspire to drink moderately and normally, finding yourself swigging it from the bottle in secret does not bode well ...

Hi there GGF. Was wondering where all had gone & suspecting that there had been some slippage off the wagon.

Totally sympathise with you GGF. Its easy to relax a bit and be tempted to let things go a touch now that you have done so well for so long.

Going away on hols is a tricky one - as you say new place, being mein host etc can all bode badly. The situation you describe is particularly bad as people tend to drink a lot over a prolonged period so just one glass doesn't seem so bad. But as we all know, one glass can lead on to another and then you would feel miserable.

I have been pretty tempted over the past few weeks - in fact even got so far as pouring a wee glass only to tip down drain. I have however found that not drinking for so long has allowed me to build up a pretty negative image of the taste of drink so that its getting easier to put myself off if thoughts creep in.

Was looking forward to Lent as a whole new range of excuses are available but in fact have just started being honest and telling people I'm giving up for a year.

I don't think a scolding is in order - you learnt your lesson and now you just need to strengthen your resolve.

Not sure what strategy to recommend - guess you need to just rehearse the situation in your mind and think of some things to do so that when the desire creeps up you are ready for it. Make sure you have plenty of supplies of soft drinks/ lemon curd and extra strong mints and memories of clear headed mornings and restful nights.

I have a wedding coming up so am wondernig how to get through it.

Yes, Miflaw, of course it doesn't bode well. But I think I needed the challenge and I probably needed to fail in order to remind myself how difficult it can be.
I was, I think, patting myself on the back before this, telling myself that it wasn't so hard after all.
It isn't so much the taste, although I did find myself looking sadly at a gorgeous Shiraz and some Dolcelatte and knowing I couldn't indulge in one of the most perfect marriages in gastronomy, it is the growing exuberance, lightheartedness and joy that I find I miss in a crowd of good friends.
I suppose what I'm saying if I were honest is that it's the effect I miss.
Thank you for your lovely kind post MissNash.
You have great resolve, good luck with the wedding, take lots of creme eggs with you and let us know how it goes.

How is everyone else? How are the shingles, Cooolma? Teasle? Poshwellies? D&S?..