how do you know when you are drinking too much?

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actually thats a stupid question. I know I am drinking too much, but I dont know how to stop.

I am in my mid 40's, FT job, three lovely kids, nice house etc....

I am drinking almost a bottle of wine, almost every night. I have been doing so for about 6 months. Prior to that its been up and down, I have always been a heavy-ish drinker but with a lot of dry days. there are a few dry days now but not many - perhaps one a fortnight.

I don't drink until the kids are in bed, I never miss work, I never drink and drive, But I know its too much. I dont get drunk as such although I certainly know Ive had too much the next morning.....

so how do you stop? I recently had some blood tests for something unrelated and was extremely pleased to hear that me liver function was normal.... but it wont be if I carry on like this.....

I last stopped drinking in April 08 for about 4 weeks, not at that time because I was overtly worried about my drinking ( though I was releived that I found it quite easy not to drink at all) but since then, its slowly increased....

bump, need reinsurance, sorry for the bother

No bother at all.

I would be amazed if you had any problems with cold turkey, especially after 2 days clear, but don't be afraid to consult your doctor if you're worried.

It depends on your body weight and general health but 2 bottles a night, while a massive amount of alcohol, is not off the scale among those of us with what is known as "a problem." I would be surprised if you didn't feel you had turned a corner in a day or two. THIS DOES NOT MEAN GO BACK TO DRINKING - it means you should start feeling well again, but properly well this time. Still, everyone's different, so don't be disheartened if it takes you a little longer.

A lot of people find stopping much easier than cutting down.

Thank you Miflaw, I'm really touched byt the fact you took the time to answer me ! Third day and I woke up with a mild headache but I keep reapeating myself, I'm going to make it this time, I'm going to make it this time and next I stop smoking !!! Thank you very much !!

god it seems like it's not just me!
I have been contemplating our alcohol intake and know it's too much.
Lately there have been 'signs' (i am taking the discovery of this thread as another)
I would say that me and dp share a bottle of wine at least 3 nights a week,maybe that bottle turns into 2 twice a week,add beers onto that (we probably do a box of 24 beers in a fortnight) and then what we drink if/when we go out...
I actually can take it or leave it more than he can-so i seldom open a bottle of wine whereas he'd have one every night and then some.He'll sit up drinking on his own (not bottles of wine but if we open a bottle i'll have a glass and he'll stay up late on his own to drink it)
he's unwilling to discuss his intake with me as he says i am a hypocrite *because i drink and when i go out with the girls can really put it away)
i don't know what point i am trying to make here but i think i will tell him that he is not to open any more bottles of wine this week and see how that goes...

Hi, IDrink - I suffered from the headache (and was a miserable cow!) for a couple of days when I stopped..pita, but its just part of the detox, get some fresh air (and rain ) and be nice to yourself......The day you wake up with no headace and with clarity is worth it...

Hi IDrink.... How are you feeling? Good luck. I stopped drinking ages ago. I seem to remember feeling seriously crappy for about 3 or 4 days, then low level crapy for quite a while really, low level, in that I didn't really realise until I suddenly didn't anymore. I used to share a bottle or wine with dh and have 1 or 2 beers aas well, most nights. I'm so glad I stopped.

Have you tried the book "How to cut down on your alcohol" or something like that by Allen Carr - I found it long winmded but fab. It's thanks to that book I was able to easily give up.

Hi Everyone !I do feel a bit crap but at least I dont feel guilty and it worth everything I think ! I dont sleep very well but at least its not the guilt keeping me awake (sorry for repeating myself)..Do you know what was the trigger for me to stop ? I want to off license and the shop keeper told me straight away, sorry we do not have jacob creeks anymore, and then in the same evening I went to another shop, and the shopkeeper asked me, no drinks tonight ???? I mean come on...that was really bad, I have cried of shame !!

ernest-this is going to sound insane but erm what do you do now? I think i'd struggle to have any kind of decent social life without drinks-two of my group of close friends are pregnant now and i am going to ttc after Xmas but i am sort of looking at it now as i told the gp on friday- a year pregnant/ttc and a year breastfeeding so two years off the booze and then i am going to drink again.
We don't go into debt to drink,i am not affected the next day by it, i can go days without a drink but am finding my days sort of in the back of mind feeling slightly pre-occupied about alcohol-not as in 'i want a drink' but thinking about how much we drink/why we drink/what my life would be like without drink...
I wonder if this is normal?

IDrink - that was kind of my trigger, people basically saying/implying blackduck=wine...
sleepless - sounds like me! I think about it, and think that thinking about it too much is probably a BAD sign! You don't struggle for a social life, mine hasn't changed overly, (I am not tee-total, but will go without) but you do get a bit bored of the same drunken conversations

i had no problems not drinking when pregnant/feeding-i think i probably drink less than i did before dd2 (had very 'boozy' job with loads of corporate hospitality/16 hour lunches) but it never made me think before.i wonder why now?

Although my children are older, DH and I have got out of the habit of going out! (I never thought it would be like this!)

I've reached a stage where I'm teetotal for half of the week, usually Mon-Weds, sometimes Thursday as well - unless I go out, like last night. But I'm trying to moderate what I drink when I'm out as well, which is sometimes easier sometimes harder - depends who I'm out with and how much of a drinker they are.

I think if you're thinking about the booze as much as you are, SIS, it's a reflection of how much a part of your life it had become/was becoming - and I know exactly where you're at because I went/am going through exactly the same thing. However, you're also older now, with more responsibilities - not surprising you're considering your lifestyle a bit more than when you were 'footloose and fancy free'.

But it's also important not to demonise alcohol - it is enjoyable and socially acceptable, as long as it's consumed in a balanced way.

On this thread it seems to me that it's about determining if you have an alcohol problem, or if it's something that you can moderate. (I'm sure there's probably a grey area between the two!)

IDRINK - sounds like you're doing very well and surely must be over the worst now? Good luck!

I hope I'm over the worst now, I have printed out a list of benefits in stopping drinking alcohol to keep me motivated ! Also, I have calculated how much I'll save if I stay tee-total for 1 month, 360 pounds. All the things I could do with 360 pounds...

sleepless

No, it's not normal. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but most people really don't think like that.

As for what one does when one doesn't drink - one does exactly the same things, but without drinking.

Presumably you managed to dance, talk, laugh, play and generally socially interact without a drink when you were a child - why should it be any different now? Most things in life get easier as you get older, not harder - why would you assume that this would be any different? If you could do it aged 11, you can do it now!

I think that there is a lot of government pressure to drink less, and there have been huge advertising campaigns. It could be partly why you are wondering, why now?

it is very difficult when on the one hand the government says that anything over 2 glasses of wine is a binge, then complaining about people falling around in the street.

As for me, I haven't smoked for about a week, and nor have I been stuffing myself full of nicotine pills (1st time in about 2 years for having no nicotine in my mouth!). I have failed so far to have an alcoholic bender, which I am very pleased about, and really haven't been drinking all that much.

Dh doesn't drink much any more which is a great help, and heaven forbid, I have started listening to him, whether or not to open another botttle of wine.

For what it's worth, my life was bloody awful when I was 11, and long before that. I really have no safe place to go back to. It's hard trying to find a way to live instead of a way to die.

Plonk

"I think that there is a lot of government pressure to drink less, and there have been huge advertising campaigns. It could be partly why you are wondering, why now?" Fair point, but I think most people who end up on threads like this are quite literally off the scale with regards to Government guidelines. It is very clear that either the government does not understand or does not want to tackle problem drinking and alcoholism and prefers instead to preach to the converted and keep normal drinkers in line. If, as a woman, you (or any other woman) is drinking less than 21 units a week (units as defined by govt) then those guidelines are for you. If you are drinking more, then you are in the right place, but probably haven't taken much notice of govt guidelines for some time ...

"For what it's worth, my life was bloody awful when I was 11, and long before that." I can, I am sorry to say, well believe it. A lot of people have shockingly bad childhoods. But we both know that wasn't my point. My point was that you probably didn't address that awfulness with alcohol at that age, so you don't need to now - and, what's more, you now have access to other strategies that probably weren't open to you then.

thanks for your honesty miflaw- what i do think,and i said this to the gp on friday-is that i drink probably less than the units over a week,i have days where we don't drink and i don't want to.
I don't get drunk (well maybe once a month if i go out and we have a boozy meal,drinks or whatever) and now i am starting to read this post and feel like i am in denial,and i don't think i am-i think tonight i need to discuss my fears about 'our' drinking (me and dp) and see what we can do together to cut down.
no doubt i'll be back on this thread at some point, thanks for not making me feel like a loop de loop.
I do wonder though if the campaigns (and the amount of time i've spent in drs surgeries lately) is what's put this to the fore though?

Sleepless - I may have missed something but, based on your own description of your drinking, I'd say you must be drinking at least double the 21 units (which itself is the govt definition of heavy drinking.) How you are drinking less is beyond me.

Rule of thumb - 1 bottle of wine - 10 units (unless 10% ABV or less, in which case, 7 units.)

1 440ml can of beer - 2-3units, depending on strength (slightly under if less than 4%).

1 pint - 2 units if it's Carling or 4% bitter, more like 3 if it's Stella, Kro, San mig, Guinness ...

Pub measure of spirits or liqueur - 1 unit (home measure, probably 2 or even 3 units.)

half a bottle of wine 3 times a week is 15 units,sometimes the half will be a full so that takes me to erm,20.
I have a couple of bottles of beer (don't know how many units and that might be erm a few more)
if i drink pints i can only drink a few and it's bitter and not the 'strong' lager-i certainly drink no more than 4pints(and that would be instead of wine) and would replace the bottle of wine (is this making sense) i don't drink spirits at home at all(and if i do i drink them when i am out it's only ever after i am drunk-i seldom drink spirits actually thinking about it)

I know we drink too much but i reckon i do around or about the top limit of drinking.I know i would drink less if i didn't live with dp.I think it might be him that's the problem (and now in this post we have both 'denial' and 'projection'

Only you can do the count - and, in a sense, it's only you that it affects.

Very hard to be honest with yourself on this one, though - well done if you can!

Sorry - not suggesting you're not being honest - saying that, if you are, then congrats, because it's easy to lie to oneself about this.

Apparently doctors routinely double whatever you tell them to be on the safe side - they don't expect honesty either ...

I worry about my drinking too. Something I try to do at least 3 nights a week is, when the kids are in bed instead a having wine, sit down with a nice non alcoholic beverage and relax. This usually knocks the craving on the head.

i was at the drs last week about my bloody god damned teeth and when she asked me how much i drank i said to her 'this is the actual amount,so don't double it or think i am erring on the side of abstinence' and she was still 'don't you think that's too much' so that was also one of the pointers i was referring to.
I think after i get back from ikea i will discuss this rationally with dp,over a nice glass of erm sparkling water...

Another day without the evil drink !!!xx

good for you! Hope tomorrow arrives with no headache!!

Go IDTMACS! Looks like, just for today, you could consider changing your name ...