There was something in the pear that night, the starfruit were bright, Fernando - 10 / 10 thread

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

we need a new title

Well, let's hope it's a nice looooong wait.
Unless you promise not to leave us after all, in which case we will release it from the doorless tower where it is currently languishing.

no i don't think so avi
i rang and said "don't say 'oh how awful ds2's skin is' as it upsets ds1"
she said "oh i won't, i will wait and say it to you in private"
i said " well tbh it upsets me as well"
she said "oh GOD how bad IS IT???"

She does sound a curiosity Franny.

Oh god sorry Avi, I didn't realise the boat was still attached to the rudder...

raisins
melon
banana
strawberries
salad - avocado, chickpeas, lettuce, beetroot, tomato, pepper
melon
banana
raisins
apple

10

This listing stuff, I just can't do it. I think I'd better take a break.

Ouch. I remember when Janet from Blue Peter broke her pelvis. That's the only expereince I have but it sounds painful.

I'm sorry but lol at 'i will wait and say it to you in private' Mothers!

We had lots of good thread title suggestions before but I have forgoteen them.

Toot, don't take a break. Just don't list.

Juice.

Hello.

Juice,
Tomatoes,
Banana,

I like pigs, but inherited about 250 pot pigs and pig 'stuff' from my Grandmother...!!!!! Pig baskets, pig planters, pig doorknockers, pig egg cups.....flying pigs, pig tea-towels, toy pigs, brass pigs.........

I could go off them.

1/2 hr on rowing machine.

Thanks for concern on FB. Don't know what to say. Things are bad. Good to have support of friends though....xx

She sounds a pain Fra. You are going to have be super bustly and cheery and confident and no-nonsense to combat it, otherwise she'll sneak in and defeat you.

When she says 'Oh I can't bear to look' you must say 'Nonsense, don't be such a wimp, it's just exzma' and then she'll be quiet for a bit, and then she'll say 'Well, I'd be very upset about that if it was MY baby' and you must say 'What rot! My being upset about it won't make it any better. Pull yourself together woman. Now what are you and ds1 going to do?'

It'll be exhausting, and she'll fight it, but in the end you might win.

I'll come round and do it if you like I'd ruddy love to shout 'what rot!' at your mother, the whole thing would come so easily to me too.

melon
banana
lettuce
cous cous with vegetable things
A delicious game pie - v. good, needs a mention, it had some apricot in somewhere
cucumber
2 apples
orange juice

toot don't be daft

100 you come and do it. i'll get you a franny wig

when i was in the hospital with ds2 she phoned and said in a shaky voice "i would cry if i saw him, i know i would"
i ended up fricking giving her a pep talk about MY baby being on a drip
aaaaaaaaaaargh
this always happens
i wind myself up far more effectively than she ever could, just THINKING about her
god i must stop

i just raided ds2's snacks and found some very worthy chocolate in there
toot would be familiar with it i imagine - it is called whizzers
it has got to be the most joyless chocolate known to man
whizzers indeed

and she would be coming just when ds2's skin is getting BAD again
grrrrr raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

i think she sounds awfully self obsessed - it must be so tiring.

here is your script:

(you mother does some self obsessed blah)

"Oh mother, that reminds me, you would never guess what this woman said. I was just saying about you coming and she got all huffy and said you sounded awfully self obsessed and asked me if it was tiring. I mean, fancy! Anyway, cup of tea?"

Franny, breathe! I am no help because I get wound up by my mother too but in different ways. Sometimes the thought of something is worse than the thing itself- maybe it won't be quite so bad when she visits

Joyless chocolate sounds, well, joyless.

I LOVE Bee's tactic.

It does sound tough Franny, it is amazing that people don't question their own behaviour and it's impact on people.
But I am a fucking wimp and would probably wind up apologising or something crap. Oh, just try NOT to be like me and you will be OK.

I did actually manage a ''I'm quite happy with my relationship with my children and my parenting skills'' quietly, through gritted teeth, after a particular damning condemnation about how it was NO WONDER my children were the way there were with the way I bought them up.

Anyway....hello... or something. Thank fuck it is Monday.

Some great responses here...lol.
Franny, be calm and patient and remember it will all be over soon.

I adore my mother and generally she is great. But is she is very difficult to live with. Sometimes I give her advice after she has rowed with her dh and she says ''oh no, he is being unreasonable and I am going to do XY and Z.'' And I have to bite my tongue and say ''I wonder why you have two failed marriasges behind you, you cantankerous thing...''