support thread for people who are about to lose a loved one

[saint2shoes]

my dear old dad who is 81 has a aggresive Brain tumour.
The doctor has just pretty much said there will be no treatment apart from steroids.
he has got bad really quick. in October I have a picture of him looking OKish(my sm died in early September) Then at Christmas he looks so ill.
he is in Hospital and looks so small and frail.
I know I am not alone and could do with talking with othere people who are going through stuff like this.
I know a lot as my mum died of a brain tumour when I was 18.

missed this last night, 2shoes.

You will never be asked to leave this thread. We all understand that you're having a shit time right now. There is nothing you could post that would offend us. You can be as offensive as you like. We're not going anywhere.

I am sure that people on other threads/boards understand, you know. You don't have it in you to be deliberately nasty so if you do inadvertently offend someone, they won't take it personally (or if they do, they are obviously twats and don't deserve your friendship)

Hope you're feeling a tad better this morning.

Mshadow I can't imagine you upsetting anyone! You have showed me nothing but kindness and support at a time that is hugely difficult for you. DOn't leave, but see that grief is blurring things.

How are you today?

2shoes/myshadow - I'm sorry I missed you last night. I was feeling very woe is me too and avoided MN. Do not think you will ever be asked to leave this thread. What we are all going through is shit, but we can do it together.

Much love. x

thanks folks, I was in a very odd mood last night and the stuff going on on mn didn't help. feel better today, been to MIL'S for the day adn my sil and bil popped in. was nice.
think it did me good.
I have found that most people have been lovely on mn, and very supportive, just been 2 people tbh, so As I am a grown up I will get over it.
I hope everyone has had a "good " day xx

glad you're feeling better about mn today, 2shoes. Twould be a travesty if a couple of nasty people chased you off. Especially now that you are at a low point and probably need support more than ever.

If you need aunty squonk to come wading in to a thread, just let me know.

thanks
they are popular people.
I have just had a love phone call from my bruv, he was so sweet

(bet none of them are as popular as you)

my uncle apparently also has cancer. My aunt didn't want to tell anyone until they knew exactly what was what and also until they had told their sons.

So she's been listening to me ranting on about my dad's diagnosis and she was going through the same thing with her husband. And never mentioned it!

Don't know any details about him yet though, will ring them tonight

oh squonk sorry to hear that

have had long email conversation with aunt.

my uncle has prostate cancer and it is very treatable and (hopefully) not going to be a problem at all.

I hope it all goes ok.
how are you today?

thank you.

Dunno. I am absolutely exhausted. I didn't sleep for about a month or so, now I'm sleeping again, I can't seem to wake up iykwim.

LilRedWG hope yesterday went ok

Thank you. Very shosrt update on here. am about to do a more indepth one. x

LilRedWG thanks for the link, I will read it after tommorow(hope you don't mind)
I did see where you said how much you miss him, oh I know that feeling.
sending you lovexx

That's why I put a link, so that no-one stubbles on it by accident.

Thinking of you.

xx

or even stumbles.

I like stubbles

my dads is here

xx

sending you both much love and strength.

xx

I'm off to see my dad tomorrow. Will update tomorrow evening or Friday.

Hope your visit goes well Squonky. xx

squonk hope you have a good visit.
I am so hoping your dear Dad will be ok.

I hope your dad is ok squonk I will be thinking of you.

I wonder how are you Lilred, mshadow/2shoes, Sidge?

Have been too emotional to post for couple days. Got test results, not good. Having meeting tomorrow to make final decisions, but sufficw to say dad is too poorly to have treatment and has still njot woken.

oh nancy, I'm so sorry to see that!

wishing you strength and hope when you need it.

xx

my dad looked very ill today. His cheeks have sort of shrunk in on themselves and he looks gaunt and grey.

I know that the chemo is a harsh treatment and it was never going to be pleasant, but I was really shocked at the change in him.

tbh I cried half the way home.

Will go and see him again soon. Hopefully for a few days.

It's such a shock to see your Dad looking so frail I know. I can imagine, I'm feeling it too squonk.

You poor thing, were you on your own? Were you driving? I find I have to be so careful at the moment my mind is never 100% on what I'm doing.

I hope the treatment is not too hard on your poor Dad, I'm sure he's already been through enough.

I expect it made him happy to see you xx

We had the meeting today. Now we just have to play the waiting game to see if there's any change to work out the next steps. It's hit me hard the last few days. I was really holding out thinking he would be able to have more treatment, thinking all the while he's asleep, coming round to the idea that maybe extra rest was doing him good. But the consultant says it's not a good sign, that taking his rate of recovery and the aggressiveness of the tumour both into account...

I'm lucky we are only a short train ride from the hospital.