Morning, OJ. Another lurker but rare poster here.
Have been pondering Mike's actions and FWIW, these are my thoughts:
Mike has always been the most reasonable i-law. In the face of very little competition, I grant you. Nevertheless, he has shown some consideration/been approachable in the past.
Steve is Mike's twin, so he is hurting, too.
He came to say his goodbyes but Steve has shown so much tenacity and is still here.
Mike, as we all would, is having trouble 'letting go' and he wants to see his brother again.
His hurt and despair have caused him to act badly. It is a bit playgroundy, really - 'let me in, there's something I must tell you' and lashing out verbally.
The i-laws aren't great on empathy. Does Mike know the fear his family causes you? He may not realise the degree of distress they cause you.
Playing devil's advocate, here, I know.
In years to come, if your Dcs want contact with Steve's family, Mike seemed to me the most resonable candidate and also the closest to their dad being Steve's twin.
For that reason, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him for this behaviour, OJ. I know it is easy for me to say and you may feel at the end of your tether with the i-laws. You have been so dignified to date and borne their behaiour so well. I just feel Mike is irrational at the moment because of the cicumstances.
Happy birthay to your lovely girls. Thinking of you all.