Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

MTD, I had that fear of being disbelieved as well. I also cried on the phone to AA when I first gave in and gave them a call too.

Look out for the blue AA sign on the door of the meeting - most of them are in churches or centres with loads of different entrances so seeing that sign will let you know you're in the right place. Try and get there 5 or 10 minutes before it starts and there will usually be some friendly people milling about outside. Then you can walk in with others and just follow them. If there's no-one else there, just go inside, get a hot drink and a biscuit if you want and take a seat. You won't have to speak if you don't want to. Even if they ask for newcomers to introduce themselves it's perfectly ok to just stay quiet if you prefer - I still do now unless I'm with my DSis who always introduces herself and I then feel obliged to follow suit. If you can introduce yourself as a newcomer it's good though, because then everyone will know you are new and you'll probably get some numbers from some of the other women.

I know it's bloody terrifying, but it's ok once you're there. I suffer with anxiety and I found it so hard to do at first, but so worthwhile. I really hope you go

thanks brassic. I know this is a stupid question but do people say hello to you or do they all look at the ground? I am not sure i can introduice myself either as I also suffer with anxiety!

Oh, that's the kind of thing that I'd be worrying about too MTD. Anxiety makes life so hard, doesn't it?

I've never been to a meeting where no-one has said hello. When I'm particularly nervous I think I have a look about me that says 'talk to me and I'll burst into tears', but still people seem to take that risk at AA.

I find it helps not to think about where I'm going until I'm almost there as well. If I start fretting I'll find a reason not to go.

If you find tonight really difficult or just can't face it, don't give up. The helpline passed my details on to a female AAer in my area who met me outside meetings the first few times. You might find that easier next time.

Let us know how you get on.

HI mog- i go to AA too and all your fears are exactly the same as mine were, but all I can say it isn't as bad as you think- the people there all understand, it was their first meeting too remember at one point!

Nothing you say is stupid- its a massive step and I wish you all the best.
Let us all know how you get on and well done, really, for tackling your drink problem.

It was one of the best things i ever did. x

Kokeshi, sorry realised I didn't ask about you in my posts, and always do normally. Just from what I've scanned when I've had the chance you haven't mentioned much about your c.i. Is that because you are settling in with it now? Has it become 'normal' yet? Sorry, don't know if it ever does, was just wondering how you were getting on with it.

mtd, are you going tonight? really hope you get on okay, will be thinking about you; you are way braver than me!

DINNY Can you update us on here please thanks

Hi Guys. MTD, I hope you got on OK tonight. Brassic, great to see you posting again...same to you cubby!

I'm fine, just back from seeing a friend who saved a drunk woman from her burning flat. My friend - AA member - suffered bad smoke inhalation and her own flat is totally wrecked by smoke damage. The drunk woman would have been dead if my mate hadn't been there and awake, and battered her door down. Sobering thought.

I'm off to bed, I'm up early tomorrow. Will check in tomorrow. Good to see the thread active.

night

How did it go MTD?

Hi Kokeshi - hope your friend is feeling better soon and the neighbour gets the help she needs.

anyone about?
Mogthedog hope tonight went well...
Gerbra x

Hi all
Have to say I feel really inspired when I read this thread (not that I get much chance).

Its been an horrendous week in the biz and am feeling particularly stressed now. I'm starting to go off my food and tummy is churning all the time now. I'm so worried about dp because he takes alot more flack than me and works long hours.
ds is up bye

I feel really ashamed because you are all rooting for me and I couldnt even go in. I drove the 8 or 9 miles to get there and then drove past the place maybe 6 times It was just lots of men outside (I could only see one woman) I felt so sick and my stomach was turning over and I just couldnt do it. I feel such a coward. So I drove home, watched tv, drank lemonade and talked to my sober partner instead. I didnt drink though nor did I actually want to. I dont know where I go from here. The lady at AA mentioned there is a womens only meeting not far on a saturday I could go to or I have the option of going back to my therapist (which worked in the past) So I am sorry I have let you all down. I dont know what else to add. I hope its ok if I still join in here? I do feel quite alone as I dont know anyone in 'real' life who struggles with alcohol

kokeshi, your friend was very brave I hope the lady gets the help she needs and can see a way forward. I also hope your friend feels better soon x

Yes! I made a second night without a drink!!!

Mog, I think you are incredibly brave and I admire you for even taking the step to ring AA. Don't worry about not going in. Take it all in small steps. You WILL go when you are ready. Maybe the woman only group would be more comfortable for you to go to to see how an AA meeting is. WELL DONE MOG!

Oh Mog, don't worry, I've done this too - and quite recently to be honest . It's quite intimidating going in by yourself so usually when you're a newcomer they'll assign you a 12 stepper which is someone (of the same sex) to take you to meetings and help you with what's going on. A wee safety net if you like.

PLease don't worry, you haven't failed at all. Well done for taking that initiative and riving all the way there by yourself though. Give the AA helpline a call and tell them what happened and ask if there would be anyone available (mention an AA member told you about 12th steppers if you like) and they'll get you sorted.

You poor thing. We're still rooting for you! If you were in my area of the country, I'd meet you myself.

Women's meetings are good but don't be bound by just them, you're 12th stepper will be able to sort you out with meetings that are right for you, and it does help to try loads of different types before you decide.

Carpe Diem Missus, call them back and rearrange. You'll be fine - and well done for not drinking!

Well done Habitual, how are you feeling today? Did you find it difficult at any particular points? What helped you to keep your resolve? YOur insights will no doubt help others on the thread too.

Hi Mog- I drove past meeting places around 5 or 6 times too- its a huge step and everyone remembers what it was like when we first went.
It may be an idea to ring the helpline again?
Up here, in the northeast, I was given contact numbers of women for different meetings, and a woman met me outside. I just sort of went up and started crying- but because they were expecting a newcomer, the women just kind of ushered me in and took care of me.

And you didn't fail, hey, you didn't drink, so thats not failure!

How is everyone else?

Thank you everyone, it has actually made me feel so much better to know I am not the only one to have done this. I think my partner found it quite amusing but was lovely as always. I think its best if I enquire about the womens only meeting to begin with as I am a bit man phobic anyway (oh to add to the long list) and I think it was just the amount of men that was so off putting! I feel empowered today for not drinking and I did the big family shop this morning with all my children in tow and didnt even go anywhere near the alcohol aisles. I have bought nice healthy soft drinks/juices so I have something to hold/drink.

Me and dp had a big chat last night. He was saying 'oh I dont think you are an alcoholic etc you dont drink enough/everynight etc'. I said to him, if it is taking over my life so much and I am constantly analysing it, cant drink without feeling guilty and all the other feelings I have - whether he thinks I am an alcoholic or not it would be better for me and us long term if I take it out of my life completely. He has agreed to give up drinking aswell in order to help me do this.

Now I must go and buy some b vitamins and entertain the children

Hi Mog. I find it very intimidating when there are lots of men standing outside meetings too. The helpline put me in touch with a 12th stepper in my area and I went to my first few meetings with her. I don't think I'd have had the bottle (literally ) to go in without her. You did well yesterday, to have called the helpline and made the journey alone. You stayed sober last night and told DP that you want alcohol out of your life. God, you haven't let anyone done, poor you.

The womens meetings are really gentle around here. I try to get to a really nice one on Friday evenings in Putney. They have low lighting and candles, and it's a small group for a London meeting, so much less intimidating for me.

If it didn't feel right to go in last night, then maybe it was a good thing that you didn't force yourself. I know the helpline suggest 6 meetings before deciding, but I think a lot of people scrap the idea after the first meeting if they find it really unbearable. I'm a bit of a man-phobic too, and I won't go to mixed meetings unless I'm meeting another woman there.

Try and have another go tomorrow at the womens meeting, and stop beating yourself up

Well I am sitting here drinking Grapefruit juice. My first Friday night in years without alcohol. I am coping but there is a "Friday" feeling lurking around.

I don't seem to be suffering any actual withdrawal symptons as long as I keep on drinking - I am drinking anything and everything as long as it is not alcohol. I have never drunk so much! I think by keeping myself hydrated, I won't get the urge or think I have the urge to drink alcohol. Does that make sense?

I have lost years by drinking. My work has suffered, my family life etc. I need to get really back on top of my life. I have a lot on my plate over the next few months, involving some legal stuff as well, and I need my wits about me. I think it is that that has finally given me the incentive to control my drinking.

I also have to find a way to raise about £8000 for the legal fees and I cannot do that whilst under the influence. So, Ebay here I come and overtime here I come.

UI can't keep up these days.

Hi to MogtheDog and welcome to the thread. You've already seen what a lovely bunch they are on here, lots of support and they all helped me immensely in my early days of admitting I had a problem.

Well done Habitual . Now that you've done it the once, it does get easier, although saying that I've had a glass of wine tonight. I opened one of those diddy bottles with two glasses in; I haven't been compelled to finish it though, so will have the other one tomorrow night.
to be honest, I don't even know why I bought it, or even opened it as I'm actually not all that fussy. Which is a good thing I suppose. Perhaps I should just pour the remaining glass away and not bother tomorrow.

sorry, I'm just emitting a stream of consciousness here

I'll try to keep up more; I miss you guys when I don't lurk or post

I made it through my first Friday night in about 10 years without any alcohol.

Well done Habitual

Wot a hero habitual. Unbelievably well done. And Mog, don't be ashamed I think you did really well to get as far as you did, and you didn't come home and drink - even more brilliant! You all seem to be doing really well on here...congrats everybody. Hope your friend is recovering from her smoke inhalation, Kokeshi. Lackadaisycal, well done you for stopping at one, I do well these days to stop at one bottle but hey ho, you are all really inspiring.

Hello again everyone! How things shift and change on this thread. I've been pretty much ok around alcohol most of the time, but drank 1.5 bottles of wine one evening last week and suffered horribly. Booze still lurks in the background, but I really get pretty terrified of how horrible I will feel if I drink very much more than a tin or 2 of beer or 1/2 a bottle of wine. I don't reccomend colitis as a cure for drinking too much!

I know what you mean about needing a clear head to do anything, Habitual. I need a focus. Needless to say, at the moment I don't have one and I'm putting off finding one. Deadlines, eh.

Hey everyone,
Have decided to be a back-seat lurker for the moment as I'm a bit pissed most nights and feel a bit ashamed

Habitual - !! First time in 10 years is bloomin' amazing - well done! How did you feel today - better I bet?

Hope everyone's well - have a good weekend...
Gerbra x