Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

My drinking history is that I never used to drink until after my second child was born and we had a friend stay for 10mths and this friend used to buy boxes of wine and drink from the moment she got in until the moment she went to bed - she was even drinking in the mornings at the weekend. I fell into the habit of joining her for a drink in the evenings. After she left, I started drinking one or two drinks a night on my own. A 70cl bottle of whiskey used to last me a fortnight. Now I am drinking 2.5 ltrs of whiskey in a fortnight and that is also restraining myself.

I like to drink, meet with friends, have people round, so I don't want to give it up altogether, I want to be able to break the habit of drinking EVERY night and get back to just drinking on social occasions.

My sister though, has done what I have done and she is now almost teetotal, so I know it can be done. I just have to have the will power to do this.

I want to be back to the alert, energetic person I was, not the frantic coping day by day person.

Alcohol is definitely hard for me to give up. I have drunk every night for the past 10 years or more.

Oh and the longest I have managed not to drink in years is about 3 days.

ARRRGGH!
Habitual - just composed a long response and pc has wiped it!!!
It did say how our situations are (I think) similar in that I never drank until a flatshare 6 years ago - when my flatmate started bringing wine back to the house. I'd never drunk at home previously and it all escalated from there...
Drinking became a punctuation mark (I'm sad - I need a drink - I'm happy - let's have a drink...)
If I'm being too cheeky, say so - I won't mind, but how much do you drink a night?
I drink a bottle minimum
Gerbra x

I drink whiskey and diet coke and have at least 3 very large doubles a night. On Friday and Saturday nights I squeeze in an extra one. My DH says they look more like trebles.

My usual tipple is wine - but have sometimes nicked whiskey from DP's bottle and then had to replace it - that's how I know whiskey and diet coke is rather nice!
It's bloomin hard isn't it? Most of the time I don't like feeling pissed and out of control but something makes me go back to it...almost every night...
Am so aware I have a problem - but perhaps still in denial that I can get it sorted myself...?
gerbra x

I think we can only get it sorted when we personally feel there is a problem. All the time my DH was saying "you are drinking too much" that just put my back up. It's like most addictions - unless I admit there is a problem, the problem cannot be fixed or properly controlled. I find I can go one/two nights without and then I start drinking again. This time I am hoping to really have a long period without. God knows my liver must need a rest.

I'm off to bed now. Sleep well Gerbra and I will catch up with you tomorrow night.

You too Habitual...
You're right though - it's fine for me to recognise there's a problem - but as soon as DP even ventures into that area - my hackles are up...
Nights off the booze are good nights - well done for that!
Sleep well, I'm going to feel a bt crap tomorrow no doubt...
Gerbra xx

Morning all! I'm feeling pleased with myself. I made it through a whole evening without alcohol. I know that you will all understand. Let's hope I am on a roll. I lost 1lb too!

I dont know if anyone is around. I have finally decided today to ring AA and have the support of my partner to do so. I feel a mess. I dont even know what more to write

Hi Mogthedog,
I'm on my way out but didn't want you to go unanswered. Well done for taking a brave step - sorry that you're feeling so bad at the moment.
Hang around on the thread and you'll get lots of support.
Gerbra

Well done Habitual!

I have just got off the phone to them and I am going to a meeting a few miles away tonight. I thought it was best that I went tonight otherwise I will put it off and end up not going at all. I feel absolutely sick but I know if i do not do something now I am going to end up killing myself through this.

I also think the turning point for me at the moment is that I don't want to drink. My excuse before was always that I did but now I really really dont. Stupid thing is I am sitting here thinking, what will I do at the wedding etc But my children deserve better than this

Sorry about the last time i posted, I wasn't complaining I was being ignored, was just worried I kept others away coz I was boringly ranting about myself. And apologies I haven't been regular here of late, my head has just been all over the place, and I haven't felt that i had anything useful to add. Don't today really, but want to say hi and put myself back in there, iyswim.

Hi teasle, gerbrajess, habitual and mog the dog, and all the not so new ones. Hope you're all doing a bit better than me at the mo. Teasle, you speak a lot of sense, how long have you been without drinking? if you don't mind me asking? Anyone heard anything of Brassic lately, I've obviously not been around much, but I don't seem to have seen many posts from her...anyone know if she's okay?

Anyway, have a good day. xxx

Oh, meant to say, expat, am really glad things are okay with you and your lo. Hope your scan goes well. xxx

MogtheDog, well done for calling AA. I am a member and have been for a number of years now. WHat I can tell you is that I've been where you've been (suicidal, physically done in) and it was probably the best move I've ever made.

I really think I'd be 6 feet under right now if it wasn't for all the help and support I received. The warmth and kindness when you are a newcomer is astonishing, especially if you're used to feeling nothing but guilt, shame and remorse.

How much are you drinking by the way? You may beed to see the GP for a medical detox, you don;t want to be at risk of complications of withdrawal symptoms. You'll need vitamin B and thiamine as well.

kokeshi, I have had periods where I havent drank at all and the withdrawal effects have been minor. I appear to be more mentally dependant on it than physically. That said, everytime I give up I go back to drink worse than ever.

What is thiamine? can you buy it without going to the gp? I am absolutely petrified if I go to the GP he will report me to social services

I think i am just kidding myself I am more mentally dependant. I feel stupid for writing that now

That seems to be a fear with a lot of people, but I don't think, in reality, it happens like that. Can anyone share experience of GPs attitudes to mothers admitting to having a drink problem? I think it's more likely they'll be encouraging you, not causing you problems to be honest.

Thiamine is Vitamin B1, you could probably get it from a health food shop yeah but please be careful about withdrawing suddenly, it can be very dangerous.

Don't feel silly about posting anything, you have to explore how you think about your drinking. Even if we have periods of abstinence, we usually find that once we start again there's a rapid reinstatement to previous levels of drinking, and the progression very quickly picks up again. We just don't have that element of control anymore, and it's the one thing that we're obsessed about achieving.

Keep posting and ask anything you need to.

Hey Cubby,
I constantly feel like I've got nothing useful to add - this would normally stop me from getting involved in any other situation but for some reason it doesn't on this thread! I'm not doing well on the abstaining front either

Mogthedog - hope you're feeling a bit better. All the best for the meeting tonight.

Gerbra x

Hi everyone

Can someone explain to me what actually happens? Do I just go into the hall and know what to do? I feel that nervous I am talking myself out of it again. The lady at AA did say I could ring her back if I needed to ask questions but everytime I speak to someone from AA on the phone I start crying, infact I am worried I will cry tonight. I am worried people might not think I have a alcohol problem aswell, is this quite normal? Iam also worried about seeing someone I know even though the meeting is not where I live.

BM the lady said they recommend I go to at least 6 meetings but alot of what she said on the phone I could relate to

kokeshi I will get some vitamin b complex stuff tommorrow, thank you. I will also go to the GP if i think i need to too. It is actually a complete nightmare getting an appointment there anyway so they most probably wouldnt be able to see me until after the weekend

I really should preview my posts. I sound completely paranoid

Oh, Kokeshi, I just wanted to respond to your question about GP's attitudes to mothers who drink. I had a crappy experience with the first GP that I told, but then a positive experience when I asked to see the female GP in the practice.

The first (male) GP asked lots of questions about DS and didn't seem satisfied or reassured by anything that ! said. I think I asked him if he was going to report me to SS and he avoided the question, which makes me really angry now as I'm pretty sure that a GP can't report you without telling you they are going to do so anyway. From further dealings with this GP I can see that he is in general a bit of a prick anyway, so he was probably just being his usual charmless self. The female GP was lovely though and I didn't feel judged or patronised like I did with the male GP.

I was at the CAT yesterday and EX-P came in with me. The therapist explained to him that alcoholism is largely misunderstood and that's where the stigma comes from. She was saying something about alcohlics having a faulty metabolism which is often genetic. That's why some people can drink heavily for all of their lives but not become physically addicted. I've not heard anything about metabolism before regarding dependant drinking. Do you know anything about this Kokeshi?

I dont know the woman from AA this morning said sometimes its chemical or genetic but I think she was just trying to make me feel better. She also said people/partners often dont fully understand that you can't help it. She said something what her dh used to say to her and it was what my partner says to me. Exactly the same