Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

Hi Guys,

Welcome to mankymummy and IWLTBM. Apologies for not keeping up with the thread of late, I've had loads of RL stuff to deal with and I'm at work at the moment, so sneaking a few minutes just to check in and say Hi.

The support on here is fantastic for anyone who is worried about their drinking. All of us began the journey into recovery with fear and trepidation, unable to imagine our lives without booze. I was a 'hopeless case', a litre and a half of vodka (or a box of wine_ at my lowest and I'm sober and have been in recovery for a number of year. I was told I would be dead by 30.

The point it, it can be done, whatever you're feeling right now, all of us have felt and sometimes still feel this way. You're not alone. The worst thing anyone can do is hide away and be ashamed of their predicament. It's NOT your fault. If you are drinking copious amounts every night for the purposes of dealing with things, or getting through the day, then it's likely that the element of control - and choice to a certain extent - has been lost.

From this point on, we need to consider if we really, truly, are ready to do something about it. I'm sure every poster on here will tell you their journey has been one of trial and error, never thinking that they were as bad as they were, or wondering how it got to this stage.

USe this thread to start in any way you need to, there are many option available to you for how you want to proceed but I think it's definitely a decision that has to be made by you and you alone.

We're all here to support you though, you'll find a really strong and supportive bunch of women on here who empathise completely.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of you newcomers, and of course our lurkers (Flowertop), our regulars and our sporadic posters. You all make this thread what it is.

Sorry for the general message, I hope I can find some time later to read in depth what's been going on with everyone.

PS, IWNLTBM, I realise you're going through a horrendous time at the moment, I've read another of your threads. I want you to know that I understand what you're going through. You're very brave, never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hi, is it ok if i answer those questions too? i feel a bit rubbish as posted that i wanted to try for a day not drinking and i still havent managed it .

How much do you drink? - 1-1.5 bottles wine a night

How long have you been drinking like this? - 2 years (didnt drink when pregnant or breastfeeding but before pg was the same)

Can you explain the feelings that would lead you to lift a drink? - its a reward, something to look forward to.

What would you say, do you use it for? - a treat (well obviously a very regular treat)

Has your drinking increased over time or related to something happening in your life? - i dont think so, ive always drunk socially and with work colleagues but now im lone parent SAHM i do it at home.

What happens to you (internally - physically, mentally) if you think you won't be able to drink? - nothing physically, mentally i plan ahead so i can drink. if im driving or DS is ill i wont drink though thats not happened for a long time.

Does it pre-occupy you? - only come 6pm!

When you have one drink, do you crave another, then another? - yes. until i've eaten then just finish the glass i have (or sometimes not.

HAs it affected your relationships, job, family, finances? - finances definitely.

HAs it affected your mental health? - i dont know.

Physical health? - yes i'm a stone heavier than i should be.

Do you get withdrawal symptoms? - dont know havent given up for two years.

god, thats really interesting just answering those questions.

Evening - is anyone around?
After a week of sobriety I'm pissed as a fart tongiht and have just had row with DP - am convinced I'm in the right! Not that funny really, quite sad...

Anyone else around - I'm not going to rant solo!

Gerbra x

Hey gerbra - great to see you!

How's things going? Sorry to hear about the row - hope you guys sort it before bed. Always hated going to bed if a row wasn't sorted.
Am here if you need to rant. Am all ears as the elephant says!

Hey Purpleone - you still around?
The row is so stupid, you'd never believe it! It's just put a whole dampner on my first night drinking in 5 nights - it's not even worth mentioning but it's upset the house tonight...

How are you? You sound positive at the mo?

Gerbra X

Yeah I'm still here hun. Just lurking around MN being a nuisance.

yeah, I'm feeling positive. Knowing that I've given myself a true kick up the arse and done something, instead of waiting for the doc...or for something to miraculously happen inside me to want to stop. yeah right! Who was I kidding!

that's what I really hate about drinking. it's never a couple to stay in control. You have the whole lot and everything feckin' kicks off.
Brain catches up 24 hours later and thinks WTF?

You doing really well hun. Don't let a little blip stop you. x x

I totally understand what you're saying PurepleONe (Im actuallly listng off edge of sofa...not good!)
Fantastic that you're feeling so much more positive - onwards and onwards (that's what I keep telling mylself...

have to go to bed now as I'm so so pissed as a fart...

speak soon

Gerbra x

hi ive stayed sober tonight

hey thats really good news to hear IWNLTBM. Such an achievment, well done!

Sorry about last night, really had to get to bed.

Hope your doing fine gerbra, and catch up soon okay!

x x

thats great xx

thankyou.ive had a VERY low day today and didnt want to let myself down any more.so im now in bed away from anything tempting

having a low day is classic for reaching for unknown and unwanted means - so you did brilliantly in not doing it.

give yourself a big pat on the back and say 'well done'!

hi jes, hows you doing?

Haven't had any time to post lately, but am staying up a few minutes longer to say hi to our newbies. Also to wish Hairy a happy holiday if she's not already left.

IWNLTBM - that's great. 1 sober day is all that you need. You just keep repeating it, and if/when things don't go to plan, you wake up the next day and you try for just 1 sober day again.

Hi to everyone else, newcomers and regulars. Purple, your chirpy posts are making me smile. You're radiating enthusiasm and inspiration lately

Night everyone [knackered]

Hi Brassic, glad I make you smile but I don't feel bloody chirpy!
My inspiration is to have at least a week off the drink. Not done that in years. Just a week is my goal, that's all I'm aiming for right now, but can't do it on my own. can manage a night here and there then start to feel like shit again. Cold, feverish and wake up with horrendous sweats. Have wore a hole in the carpet with ym endless pacing at night.

Just one day, yes, but I can't go on longer than that without all these feelings. And def can't do it when starting 2 OU courses very soon.

Night BM, sleep well hugs

am gonna lurk for a bit longer, gotta be up early so can't be too late x x

HI, anyone about tonight?

hi teasle, I'm here

Purpleone you sound fantastic at the moment. sending you sober vibes to help you get your week.....and once you've done a week, what's another day, and then another day......and so on.

well done on not drinking iwnltbm, but I hope you are feeling better today.

gerbra, I hope things are OK with you, and that your argument with DH has blown over. tell me to eff of if it's none of my business, but do you think the row happened because you had been drinking?

jes....hi to you too. I don't think we've met before

HI Daisy- just waiting until DS1 has settled before I go up to bed. DP and others already in bed , so am up on my own.

hows the bump coming along?

hello, all

have had a really busy week or so - am afraid I have drunk more than I should but am back on straight and narrow now. didn't go mad but succumbed to the lovely weather vibe and kind of drank when I wanted

have got throat infection courtesy of ds now, so am feeling sorry for myself!

how's everyone doing? have missed y'all!

hI Dinny- glad to see you posting again.
Alls well in the teasle household, thanks.

How are you Dinny?- Do you feel you're on top of the concerns you had regarding your drinking now?

Yes, think I am, but could feel myself poised to slippng back into regularly drinking if I wasn't careful, iykwim

so, I am not drinking anything till friday (maybe, if I end up going out)

think I will always have to be vigilant....

Hi dinny....was wondering where you had been hiding.

I'm glad you are getting back on track, and not letting your wee lapse get you down too much.

teasle, bump is bloody enormous. I was asked the other week how long I had to go....you can magine the poor woman's moritification when I replied six months . I'm quite happy to let it all hang out though. i've lost loads of weight as well. scales are weighing 9lbs lighter, but as baby and all the gubbins must weigh something, I reckon I must have lost a stone on aggregate. I notice it on my face arms and hips. I'm getting a bit obsessive about it actually

yes, but well done, because you've recognised those feelings that something was worrying you, and have done something about it.
I sometimes wonder that if I had put some effort in a long way back, whether things would be different for me, which I also know is rather pointless- but what I mean is, at what point did my drinking tip over from regular, into heavy, into alcoholic- its just something I've been thinking about today.
Also, at what points did I think I was maybe drinking too much/ had a problem etc.

Daisy -are you 12 weeks now then?
Sorry, cross-posted

Daisy, hi when are you due then?

Teasle, yes, I know what you mean. best case scenario is to learn to moderate your drinking befor it's too late, isn't it?

it is such a slippery slope though, so easy to get back into it