sorry IWNLTBM......I forgot to add your name to my first post
Can yoou do without alcohol? do you start to think about it long before you start drinking. From my POV, I'd start to get really twitchy around school pick up time if there was none in the house so I would always go and get some on the way home from school. Then I just couldn't wait to get the DCs in bed so I could start; and quite often I wouldn't even wait till then and would start at teatime.
kokeshi has some good questions (basically for answering yourself, you don't need to answer them on here)
and I quote.....
"Here's some questions to ask yourself in order to gauge how much help you might need. As I've said, people don;t actually realise that they're dependent on booze until the actually try to stop or have days off, and by that time 'I can stop if I want' to is long gone, it's the insidious nature of addiction, and the strong element of denial that will keep us there.
So here we go, answer them here or just for yourself if you're not ready, but please know that we've all been there.
How much do you drink?
How long have you been drinking like this?
Can you explain the feelings that would lead you to lift a drink?
What would you say, do you use it for?
Has your drinking increased over time or related to something happening in your life?
What happens to you (internally - physically, mentally) if you think you won't be able to drink?
Does it pre-occupy you?
When you have one drink, do you crave another, then another?
HAs it affected your relationships, job, family, finances?
HAs it affected your mental health?
Physical health?
Do you get withdrawal symptoms?
They aren't official questions or anything, but it might help you get some answers for yourself."
I know K won't mind me repeating them for you here