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Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

1000 replies

lackaDAISYcal · 07/04/2008 00:07

Smile
OP posts:
weebee2 · 16/05/2008 02:16

I'm the same Bachelorette , 2yo & 4 YO & I'm drunk, got to do the nursery rub in the morning, not for the first time.

weebee2 · 16/05/2008 02:17

Srry.. *run not rub

PurpleOne · 16/05/2008 02:21

i never do the school run anymore. dd1 and 2 take themselves now. Am usually too hungover to get my arse out of bed. In fact, Education welfare keep sending me letters about days off. dd2 was off today cause I coudlnt get out of bed and woke at 11am.

Before the drink took hold, their attendance at school was impeccable.

However a nursery rub sounds really nice too
A run sounds too bloody exhausting.

weebee2 · 16/05/2008 02:23

I am so depressed and do not realy know y? I'm hopeing that someone will tell me i'm ok , and just over sensative!

Bachelorette · 16/05/2008 02:23

Too cryptic, purple one, do I have your msn?

Bachelorette · 16/05/2008 02:25

weebee mine are 3 and 4 and I've been incapable of things before. I think I'm using drinking as a crutch right now to get me through these hard times.

PurpleOne · 16/05/2008 02:26

did we meet here or over in chat?

PurpleOne · 16/05/2008 02:30

sorry bachelor, i was confuddling you with someone else, who i met here and msn with and she loves youtube we hadnt spoken for a wee while and thought it was you

my dds are 13 and 10, and old enough to tell me otherwise!

msn is [email protected] if you fancy a chat tomorrow night x x

weebee2 · 16/05/2008 02:38

Part of my problem is that I have none!
I have two great kids ( that piss me off at times, as kids do) and I have a great DH , that works hard for us and is a great dad. What do I have to complain about?? NOHTING- is the answer.. So y do I feel so sorry for myself and get drunk the way I do,
I remember that it first started happening 12 years ago after a termination I was forced into by a previous partner, but that surely cant' still be gong on in the back of my mind, alougth I HAVE HAD TEN MISSCARRIAGES?? mAYBE THATS IT , BUT i THOUGHT I took it all in my stride.
If only I could see a REAL reson for it all I may be able to sort it...

weebee2 · 16/05/2008 02:42

I just read that back and it does not really make sense unless you know me..... sorry........ I feel shit and am thinking that a miricle worker can tell me why!

weebee2 · 16/05/2008 02:52

I was hopeing for someone to confide in rigth now, but have ti go to bed as I have thr nursery run at 9 and I need to sleep it off . will come back 2 morrow .

gerbrajess · 16/05/2008 10:15

Hey PurpleOne - how are you? Hairyb - god you've really been floored with the flu haven't you? Hope you have a fantastic holiday and benefit from the break

Hi Bachelor, Weebee, IWNLTBM and Berrieb - so sorry you're having such a difficult time . It's great you're all posting on here though, I hope today's treating you better...

How is everyone else today?

Gerbra x

gerbrajess · 16/05/2008 10:20

I'm worried I'm being insensitive for posting my good news when other people are not in a good place with booze but... for the third week I've had nothing to drink during the week...just had to let you know as I'm honestly chuffed to bits and feel so much better ... DP never knew the real extent I have been drinking (bottle - sometimes a bit more - a night) so I can't ask him for a pat on the back!

I know it's all very fragile at the moment. I'm planning to drink tonight and over the weekend and next week back to sobriety during the week ... I can't quite believe I've done 3 weeks

lackaDAISYcal · 16/05/2008 10:42

morning.

hi to weebee and batchelorette. you got some sage words lst night from purpleone, and there;s not a lot I can add, except to say to weebee, that I had a termination in 94, a joint decision between my partner and I as we were in the process of splitting up, were just about to sit our finals and it seemed like the right thing to do. It still hit me very hard though, and I can pinpoint my depression to that time. I've been struggling with it ever since. I can only imagine that if you were forced into the termination it must have been a lot harder to deal with.

Keep posting, both of you. We have all been at rock bottom when we started on here, andl slowly I've seen everyone who joins this threaad peicing things back to gether again. It isn't easy, and there have been relapses, but we are all getting there.

There if a facebook thread as well for chatting more privately, but I'm not sure how it works.......maybe we should set up a facbook group as then you can start threads within that group after either being invited to join, or requesting to join and being OK'd. That way we won't have everybody on facebook trying to join us; I'll look into it

hope everyone has a good weekend. I'll try and look in either tonight or tomorrow night.

PurpleOne.....you sound really positive about things; keeping it all crossed for you.

OP posts:
lackaDAISYcal · 16/05/2008 10:45

oh, meant to say gerbra, don't feel insensitive at all; it's the positive stories on here of success that give those who are struggling the knowledge that they can beat this and that life can get better

certainly that was how it was for me anyway.

And bloody well done for getting this far

Are you hoping to stop altogether, or are you just happy with keeping drinking to the weekend?

OP posts:
iwillNOTletthisbeatme · 16/05/2008 10:58

i dont know if im now dependant or just not good at stopping myself?

lackaDAISYcal · 16/05/2008 11:06

sorry IWNLTBM......I forgot to add your name to my first post

Can yoou do without alcohol? do you start to think about it long before you start drinking. From my POV, I'd start to get really twitchy around school pick up time if there was none in the house so I would always go and get some on the way home from school. Then I just couldn't wait to get the DCs in bed so I could start; and quite often I wouldn't even wait till then and would start at teatime.

kokeshi has some good questions (basically for answering yourself, you don't need to answer them on here)

and I quote.....

"Here's some questions to ask yourself in order to gauge how much help you might need. As I've said, people don;t actually realise that they're dependent on booze until the actually try to stop or have days off, and by that time 'I can stop if I want' to is long gone, it's the insidious nature of addiction, and the strong element of denial that will keep us there.

So here we go, answer them here or just for yourself if you're not ready, but please know that we've all been there.

How much do you drink?

How long have you been drinking like this?

Can you explain the feelings that would lead you to lift a drink?

What would you say, do you use it for?

Has your drinking increased over time or related to something happening in your life?

What happens to you (internally - physically, mentally) if you think you won't be able to drink?

Does it pre-occupy you?

When you have one drink, do you crave another, then another?

HAs it affected your relationships, job, family, finances?

HAs it affected your mental health?

Physical health?

Do you get withdrawal symptoms?

They aren't official questions or anything, but it might help you get some answers for yourself."

I know K won't mind me repeating them for you here

OP posts:
iwillNOTletthisbeatme · 16/05/2008 11:15

i dont mind answering them here.i want to be as honest as i can with myself.im sick of hiding everything.it doesnt help.

How much do you drink? 1 sometimes 2 bottles a night now

How long have you been drinking like this? its got worse over the last week

Can you explain the feelings that would lead you to lift a drink? depression.despair.lonelyness.i just want to forget everything

What would you say, do you use it for?comfort and a way out

Has your drinking increased over time or related to something happening in your life?yes

What happens to you (internally - physically, mentally) if you think you won't be able to drink?i actually ache.my chest feels tight

Does it pre-occupy you?at the moment yes

When you have one drink, do you crave another, then another?yes

HAs it affected your relationships, job, family, finances?not yet

HAs it affected your mental health?probably

Physical health?im not sure.i dont sleep well unless i drink?

Do you get withdrawal symptoms?not sure.i dont think so

there

lackaDAISYcal · 16/05/2008 11:47

oh, iwNltbm . I really admire your honesty. I know myself it takes a lot of courage to admit these things to yourself, and even though we are essentially a bunch of faceless nicknames, it's still a big deal to be honest about it on here.

I think you've done the right thing by posting, and I hope that we will be able to help you, or at the very least give you comforrt knowing that you're not alone. There are some good positive outcomes on this thread, and a very good, positive vibe.

no one ever judges, as we have all been there to some degree or another.

do you want to give up drinking completely? A few either have or are in the process of that, and there are some, myself included who just want to have a much healthier relationship with alcohol. At the present time, I'm still not sure whether I can have that sort of relationship with it; time will tell I suppose.

I've gotta run now, and get some houseowrk done whilst DD is sleeping (bless her she fell asleep on the floor a few minutes ago so I've just popped her in her cot).

I've set up a group on FB...it;s called MN Dependant Drinkers and is in common interests, health and wellness for anyone who wants to find it. I've invited Purpleone, teasle, BM and kokeshi as they are the only friends I have listed....I think anyway, sorry if I've missed anyone out.

My email is daisybump at yahoo dot co dot uk if anyone wants to email me I'll send out an invite

OP posts:
iwillNOTletthisbeatme · 16/05/2008 12:05

i think im kidding myself if i can give it up now.i spend the day at the moment waiting to open a bottle.i nearly opened it yesterday afternoon.yesterday was a bad bad day

jellibabe · 16/05/2008 12:10

At the risk of being shot at work for internetting. I willnotletthisbeatme all of us in recovery started at the point you are at now. It is possible.

Purpleone and Gerbra your both doing brilliant. It's inspiring..

xxx

gerbrajess · 16/05/2008 12:41

IWNLTBM - there was a period a few years ago when I was drinking a minimum of 3 bottles a day (with some vodka thrown in), including during the day. It followed the death of a close friend and alcohol was the only thing I thought could numb the pain.

That was the only period I've drunk (alone) during the day but we really have been / are where you are now, like Jellibabe says, you can move forward. You'll get tons of support on here and on FB - like Daisy said, you're not alone.

Daisy and Jelli - thanks . My aim is not to give up drinking completely, but to stay off it during the week and drink (hopefully guilt-free) at the weekend. 3 weeks in and I've managed but I've yet to tell whether I can maintain this long term. I'm really thrilled that the sunday night drinking to monday night not-drinking transition has not been as hard as I thought (although still hard!)

Hopefully this good news can inspire someone - I do keep thinking, god if I can do it, there's hope for everyone!!

A huge job has just landed in my inbox so I better be sober for the next few weeks

I'll pop in later
Gerbra xx

dandycandyjellybean · 16/05/2008 12:50

gerbrajess, you are doing so, so well, and are a real inspiration for me, where you are is where i would like to get to....and thanks for mentioning me, i was beginning to think no-one had missed me (boo hoo, is there a feeling sorry for yourself emoticon?) Just packing car, ready for the off, not really in holiday mode as I STILL feel really shite, but hoping it will improve when I get there.

Hang in there everyone, keep posting and I'll be in touch asap.

Stripteasle · 16/05/2008 12:55

IWNLTBE- HI- if you really feel like this then its time to get some help. Do you agree? go to your GP, local alcohol service,and/ or AA .

I'm a recovering alcoholic, my drinking was off the map.
Time to do something about it. If you can't do it on your own, then please, get the help you need. Its out there.

Read back over this thread- its massive and has been going for ages. Keep posting

Stripteasle · 16/05/2008 13:04

Hope you have fun, Hairy

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