OMG I can never face going to work again (TMI +++++++)

[IHaveToMoveFarFarAway]

Fark me ,i take it i dont need to put them all up at once?After all i dont want a Geoff Capes esque fanjo do i?

vvvqv

(Shiny - is that you? )

"Duck!"

"Where?"

Please god i hope she thinks it was a normal fart

If i was feeling more upbeat about it VVVQV then i would fanjo fart you Happy Birthday.

Nah, normal farts are boring

You can fart me happy birthday. That'd be fab

If it helps, if I heard loud farty noises, it wouldn't even occur to me to think they weren't coming from a bum.

If I were you, I'd sidle up to your work colleague and make a joke of it. Just say something along the lines of "don't worry, you're safe to stand next to me today! I've been trying some new supplements/diet pills/a new diet and it's just not agreed with me so I've got rid and I feel loads better already" and leave it at that.

Don't worry too much, it's only a bit of wind after all (as far as she knows!) doubt she'd tell anyone. Would you tell everyone at work if you heard her farting in the loo?

I farted on the hard floor of the sports hall once during sex ed. It was an enormous blarting noise (I was nervous!) and the whole class fell about laughing since we were already talking about rude things. Took me YEARS to recover. AND I got told off off my teacher for disrupting the class! hth!

I have a bruise on my finger this morning from biting it hard last night -- to stop myself laughing so loudly at this thread that DH would come and ask me what was up.

BTW, if it was me I would far rather she knew it was a fanny fart and hence completely involuntary.

Anybody else singing "The fanjo-o of the Opera is there, inside my mind...."

lmao at fANJO OF THE oPERA!

This is a classic for sure?

Perhas you could recommend your colleague for a lovely job somewhere else. Then she would leave instead.

Nobody would need to know

Btw you should have changed your name to 'I have to move fart fart away'

lol @ some of your comments

I am still feeling very ashamed and scared that it will happen again.

Thankyou Jamesandthegiantbanana for sharing that windy tale.

Message withdrawn

Dear Farting Fanny
Sadly I don't know of a cure. You could try muffling the noise of future explosions though with expanding spray foam, available from good DIY shops. Your colleague is possibly wondering if it was in fact her emitting that noise. In fact, it was her. Wasn't it?

In the days when I went to aerobics classes, I used to suffer terribly from ff when doing things in a shoulder stand, if thats any consolation.

I'd def go with the 'tried diet pills and they weren't agreeing' line. When my mum was on really high doses of tablets for her diabetes (on insulin now), she could barely walk without an accompanying sound track. In the pool she looked like a mobile jacuzzi...

oh yes, definitely a classic that'll go down in the anals [sic] of MN history

Have been known to suffer with ff's during and after horse riding, especially if quite energetic! Would try to blame horse if anyone nearby!
< think I should have changed name after that admission>

Message withdrawn

You could take a day off and tell your colleague that you went to the doctors to sort out a problem. She wont gossip about it then.

All the fanjo farting reflections so far have had good reason for the fart developing.

I really must have a baggy vag then

I tried to make out to my collegue that it was the pickled onions we had eaten but i dont think she bought it.

I am dreading going to work now
I never imagined anything as embarrassing as this could or would ever happen to me.

Oh just great it gets worse

I had to call work just to ask something and i spoke to the fanjo fart witness and as i went to get up off the sofa to get a pen,the sofa made a fart noise....what are the friggin chances of that?????

this DEF a wind-up

posting style v suspish