OMG I can never face going to work again (TMI +++++++)

[IHaveToMoveFarFarAway]

Tonight's occurrance has to be the most humilitating experience i have ever had.
I am a regular and when i explain you will understand why i have namechanged.

Whilst i was stood next to a collegue working on something well (wait for it) my fanjo let out the loudest fart you have ever ever heard My collegue looked at me and i looked at her horrified and i just muttered something like "oh pardon me i have wind tee hee" and then omg it happened again and by this point we were making our way down the corridor and with each step i took my fanjo expelled a fart.I am not talking like 2 or 3 farts here but like at least 15 and loud ones and i had absolutely no control over them,it was like a vaginal opera.

ffs what the feck ???
The only thing i can think of(other than yes weak pelvic muscles) is that it's because i am on AF

Mmm. True. She probably wouldn't have changed her name either.

So, for the love of god, what have you done!!!!

Damn those x-posts! But PMSL!

pmsl! I nearly choked on my mini egg!
But how embarrassing!

Right who works evenings then??????????

At least it didn't smell (well I am assuming it didn't smell ?

Oh god . I thought that only happened when you were taking it doggy style.

yep, time for a new job!!!!!

were they audibly different from bottom trumps?

lol at vaginal opera

it ain't over until the fanjo sings

Message withdrawn

It didnt smell but just sounded like i had a duck caught in my knickers.

PMSL you poor thing.

But a woman, you say - she'll be thinking "there but for the grace of God" and will follow sisterhood rules and will never mention it again.

PMSL "vaginal Opera"

You are right - you can never go to work again. Might be worth going into the witness protection programme and changing your identity for good.

Could you not have...ummm...blamed it on 'squeaky shoes'

LMAO btw

pmsl meg and 'friend'

you were caught spitting in the boss's cup of coffee?
you were caught peeing standing up and your cover as a trannie was blown?
you sent an email slagging off your boss.... to your boss?
someone had to tell you that you smell?

WHAT?

sorry - just literally Pissed myself Laughing

OMG its just so awful why? why? why?

I shall develop fanjo paranoia.

Controlfreaky - are you on dial up connection?

sorry.... took too long!
err, you're right. you need a new job.

your fanjo is developed well and good enough already if it can do opera

What if she mentions it to my collegues?

no dahling, just veeeery sloooooooooow.