OMG I can never face going to work again (TMI +++++++)

[IHaveToMoveFarFarAway]

Do you think that she did think it was just a load of bottom farts?? please reassure me

bum farts can sometimes channel around and up?

Hmmm...maybe start going to work with a duck in yer pants then?

It's bound to be one of those utterly mortifying but thankfully unreproducable freak occurrences. No harm in doing some pelvic floor exercises though.

that's the answer!
go in tomorrow and show her your pet duck!

I dont think i will ever get over this tbh.

course you will

once tomorrow is over you will almost be able to smile about it! please dont fret so!

Oh no, poor you, reminds me of the time I wet myself during a driving lesson, it was 13 years before I had the courage to take up driving again.

i've done this twice in my life. The first time we were students, but new, didn't really know each other, and we were lying with our legs up the wall (hence the air going in...) and then mine did a huge FF. The others laughed and thoughed i'd dropped a cheeky fart and i wasn't sure which i preferred - somehow the idea that i'd done that on purpose was more embarrassing than the concept of an involuntary FF. I was known as Grinning F (after the contemporaneous hit single Axel F) for ages...

It then happened in front of my boss, about 15 years ago (no legs up walls this time...) i have NO IDEA how or why it happened, and it never did again. i just sidled backwards out of the room and it was never mentioned again. she was exceptionally strange, though.

for you that you are really upset...
you have to steel yourself for next time you go in and then.... forget it. chin up!

remember it is just a bottom fart to your collegue

There you go IHTMFFA! Totaleclipse's story is faaaar worse.

If this had happened to a bloke, they wouldn't be thinking twice about it.

In fact, one of DH's colleague's who has a bowel disorder has been regaling the office with tales of how he needs to wear pantyliners to deal with mucousy leakage. I admire his balls.

Do you? Does he show them off then Larry?

Grinningsoul-I bet it was only the one though?

I really am mortified.

Totaleclipse -How did you explain that to the instructor?

hahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahaaaaaa

the boss incident went on a little, but admittedly, not what you describe. i promise you'll feel significantly better about it tomorrow morning - it's over now, and will recede. if she mentions it, fine, say god i'm so embarrassed thank goodness i know you'll never tell anyone but if she doesn't, just try to put it behind you. obviously i found it hard, or i wouldn't treasure those two memories so closely but... i don't blush when i remember them now, and the witnesses still think v well of me!

Oh dear sorry tears are rolling down my face, seriously this is one incident to laugh off.

My granny was a windy old dear, she used to fart as she walked, 1 2 1 2 1 2 trump trump trump. I think back though.

Sorry but she cant keep a secret. She has already told someone about it

I had a boyfriend who used to have to wear sanitary towels ('Always' if I reacall correctly-his mother's cleaner would buy them for him)on account of his bowels and piles.

He said overdoing speecd in his 20s had caused it.

eeeeew. yuk!

He didn't stay my bf for long.
He was a knob (not on account of 'Always' habit though.)

You could say that you've not been practicing your ping pong trick regularly enough?

Oh yes

You'll be wanting these little beauties then

That could cover every eventuality couldnt it?

IME fanny farts sound markedly different - usually.

Would suggest that next time, knowing that a cough wont cover it - you do a Donald Duck impression?