DH wants me to take him to A and E because he feels so ill

[jazzyfazzy766]

My DH always seems to be ill. He is 48 and quite fit but as soon as you put him in a pub, theatre, cinema, church, train or bus - he gets ill with a cold cough sore throat etc but it is always 100 times worse than when anyone else gets a cold and lasts for weeks - ( his car went for a service end of week before last and he got the bus back) - next day he came down with a cold - he screams in pain and panics and shivers like mad moaning he is really hot but he never has a temperature. He has even bought 3 different thermometers now coz he thinks they are broken. Twice before he has been admitted to hospital coz he has walked in the Dr's bent over double crying with pain so docs have thought he had pneumonia or quinsy. Both times he has been admitted to a ward and had tests which have come back clear and told he has a cold- he is upstairs screaming in pain saying he is burning up temp is 36.8 ( so no fever) and demanding I take him to A and E now. He saw Dr on Friday who said it is a cold no chest infection or tonsillitis. WwYD? Without a high temp I really honestly think it is just a cold - this prob happens 4 - 5 times a year and I think he spends more time being ill than well. During lockdown was the healthiest he has ever been! Should I take him. 111 said no temp it is nothing serious .

No, he needs to see a GP about his health anxiety though.

No

Honestly, I’d be getting him a therapist. His reaction to a cold is so far from normal I wonder if he’s got severe health anxiety?

Also is he immune suppressed? He needs to be on some vitamins and improved diet and exercise as he is getting ill more than myself and my colleagues used to in classrooms with small, snotty children! It’s not normal to get a cold every time you go out in public.

It's neither an accident nor an emergency so, no.

Would he really rather sit in a&e for hours/days waiting to be told he has a cold?
Has he always been like this?

I mean, this is very odd and needs investigating. But I wouldn’t take him to A&E, no, not without a temp. Unless for the pain - Where exactly is the pain - why is he screaming? People dont generally scream with sore throats and colds.

No, if he genuinely feels this then he needs to seek help for his mental health

What's hurting? My husband is a bit of a drama queen with viruses and is always shivering/burning up but generally just hides himself away in the spare room and does no childcare.
It sounds like your DH is really struggling with how his body reacts to virus. But it doesn't sound like an emergency and likelihood is he would have to get out of bed, go to a busy a&e waiting room and likely be sent home. Saying that, he should get some investigation from the GP and to understand what is causing such a difficult reaction and continue pursuing this even when well from this episode. Get him to have paracetamol (or cocodamol if you have it) with ibuprofen and a good night's sleep!

He would be in a and e for hours, around millions of germs and then told he can go home so definitely not I would not take him. What is he hoping for in a and e? Admission? Painkillers? What does he think is wrong? Even if he had a temp, why does he think he’d need a and E for it?

Does he have any other way of stopping? Some people use being sick as the only way they can let themselves not be busy.

Where is his pain? Do you believe him or is he over dramatic? What does he think a&e will do?

He certainly isn't going to be a priority. I have to say I'd be tempted to happily drop him off at A&E and leave him there to sit for 12 hours before being seen while you get some peace and quiet at home!

He needs mental health help.

My DH has health anxiety (although not this severe) so I do understand what you're going through. It's exhausting for everyone concerned.

Don't enable it, would be my advice. He can take himself off to the A&E and sit there for hours if he wants to. But eventually he's going to need some therapy or a coping mechanism for whatever is causing all this, it just can't carry on.

Drop him off at AnE, then go home. A long lonely wait might teach him for next time.

It does sound incredibly odd. What does he think he has? What are his symptoms?

If his throat was that sore he wouldn’t be able to scream. The sickest patients are usually the quietest ones!

Good grief no, he can make his own way or cut out the dramatics, how do you stand this?
He needs help or one day he will be the boy who cried wolf.

Blimey - I couldn't cope with this. He needs to see his GP about his MH

I cant remember the name of the condition but theres a disorder which creates intense physical pain when the patient doesnt have anything 'painful' as such, but is ill, its something to do with the nervous system, some sort of communication difficulty.

Its not to be dismissed as 'health anxiety', it needs treatment but he would need to see a neuorologist I think. From memory it was a neurological disorder.

Where's his pain? Tell him he can call 111 if he wants advice.

During lockdown was the healthiest I’d been in years because I wasn’t being exposed to any germs.

He definitely needs to see his GP and get referred for anxiety. I’d also be asking for other in-depth tests to be done. He could have something underlying going on. I’m immune compromised and what can be a normal cold for everyone else can be something horrendous for me. A lot of just normal run of the mill illnesses also end up turning into infections for me. I can usually tell when this is going to happen, I can see a Dr one day and they will say it’s viral and the next day go back and I suddenly need antibiotics. If I go on a Friday my Dr will give me the antibiotics because they trust my instincts and know if I tell them it’s developing into something more they will believe me because they know my history.

The shivering thing is something that happens to me, I’ve cracked teeth shivering for what feels like no apparent reason. Other than a Rheumatologist labelling it Raynaurds phenomenon Drs haven’t been able to figure out why it happens.

He has been like this for years - and I remember him getting a cold in the first month of us dating and I was shocked - i had seen mad flu with my ex but this was something else. I don't think he is making it up he just seems to have a very very low pain threshold and he says his whole body feels like poison is running through it and he feels like he is on fire. He thrashes and screams with the pain. Sometimes it isn't as bad as other times and paracetamol/ibuprofen works but this time nothing is working. He says he feels like he is dying. He seems to think that he needs antibiotics through a drip or he needs some wonder drug that only a hospital can prescribe. The kids are losing the plot with him and have stayed at mates houses all weekend so they can get some sleep. I sleep downstairs now otherwise I get no sleep. He went to the GP about the amount of colds he get after one of the hospital admissions back in 2018 and they did loads of tests and there was nothing abnormal he was just told to eat healthily and keep fit which he does and always has - the only thing is because every cold knocks him for six keeping fit is hard because he only ever stays cold free for a few weeks. He has hit stage warnings at work a few times and if he stays off tomorrow he will be on a stage 2 warning so it is affecting all areas of his own and our family life.

You've got the patience of a Saint

Is it possible to ask one of his parents or siblings if he has always been like this? Or perhaps someone else in the family has the same reaction?

Is there a possibility he's neuro diverse? Genuine question because I've seen this kind of reaction before...