DH wants me to take him to A and E because he feels so ill

[jazzyfazzy766]

My DH always seems to be ill. He is 48 and quite fit but as soon as you put him in a pub, theatre, cinema, church, train or bus - he gets ill with a cold cough sore throat etc but it is always 100 times worse than when anyone else gets a cold and lasts for weeks - ( his car went for a service end of week before last and he got the bus back) - next day he came down with a cold - he screams in pain and panics and shivers like mad moaning he is really hot but he never has a temperature. He has even bought 3 different thermometers now coz he thinks they are broken. Twice before he has been admitted to hospital coz he has walked in the Dr's bent over double crying with pain so docs have thought he had pneumonia or quinsy. Both times he has been admitted to a ward and had tests which have come back clear and told he has a cold- he is upstairs screaming in pain saying he is burning up temp is 36.8 ( so no fever) and demanding I take him to A and E now. He saw Dr on Friday who said it is a cold no chest infection or tonsillitis. WwYD? Without a high temp I really honestly think it is just a cold - this prob happens 4 - 5 times a year and I think he spends more time being ill than well. During lockdown was the healthiest he has ever been! Should I take him. 111 said no temp it is nothing serious .

It is safe to take OTC antihistamines like cetirizine or loratadine every day. They come in one-day formulations, so it's no hassle.

Steroids certainly make a difference. I've just started getting them on repeat prescription (I have ME-CFS) and they're something of a miracle pill. However, they have a LOT of side effects, some of which are dangerous long-term, and they make you fat. I'm keeping them for emergencies!

He might be able to get a steroid inhaler if a medic agrees he's suffering severe dyspnea but, again, there are risks to frequent long-term use.

I sometimes take two different antihistamines on the same day, following online advice about which are least likely to cause problems. I wouldn't do it often because you're not actually supposed to mix them at all.

Hoping you get some answers - although DH emphatically does sound like a wuss, it also sounds as if his system's over-reacting to sun dry infections.

*sundry infections, not sun-dried like raisins!

Has just occurred to me, somebody else may have suggested this, have you ruled out allergic rhinitis?

This is on the increase and becoming more frequent/severe for current sufferers due to climate change.

Could explain the symptoms and why it’s got worse with age?

Do you mean Fibromyalgia? I live with this condition, it doesn't warrant a trip to A & E, knowing the state of the NHS, he would go in with a cold & come out with something much worse. My mum was admitted with heart problems last year & came out of hospital with Covid.

You have the patience of a saint.

I'd have been absolutely done with this a long time ago.

Before you mentioned how healthy he seemed during lockdown (when funnily enough, it wasn't 'safe' to see a doctor), I was thinking he could have a lowered immune system caused by (worst case scenario), Leukaemia. Though the lockdown health 'spurt' I think is very telling.

I'm voting for a mental health issue but whatever it is causing this, it's only going to get worse & worse & worse......😳☹️

@bellac11 Have you missed the part where he was the healthiest OP has ever known him to be, during lockdown?! Ya know, when it was the least safe time to see any medical professional and going to hospital or Doctors would put you at risk of a VERY serious virus ie: worse than whatever he thought he had?! Funny that!

@jazzyfazzy766 why is he screaming in pain? I had a bad case of flu (not a cold) as a child and was feverish and practically bedridden for a week. I was really unwell but I didn’t scream. The only time I scream in pain is when I’m on my period (endometriosis). It seems that your DH was mollycoddled and pandered to as a child. He needs therapy because this sounds like a mental illness.

That's a very solid point.

I'm now coming down on the side of "MIL made him into an attention-hungry health freak".

Not saying that isn't an illness in itself - just one DH might not like having; it needs treatment with therapy, not IV antibiotics and a bedside drama.

Mental illnesses do cause physical symptoms, btw. "All in the mind" is unfairly dismissive. Problem is, you can keep treating the physical symptoms but they will keep coming back until the underlying issue's acknowledged.

I feel so sorry for him.

It definitely warrants further investigation

I'm thinking some kind of auto immune type thing?

The way forward is via the GP and a referral I would have thought.

Poor man.

Bellac is it functional neurological disorder (fnd) you're think about?

Does he scream and thrash around when nobody else is in the house?
It seems to be hysterical or panic behavior alongside whatever else is going on. Had he ever had anti anxiety medication to see if that helps the episodes?

There is either a physical cause or a mental one, and for sure none of us can tell from here.

I'll just say... having a partner with a longterm illness is so hard. So as this is your post, not his, I'm going to centre you.

Getting to a diagnosis, or a treatment, is not your responsibility. You can support dh, and when he is ill you can advocate for him, but you cannot be responsible for his health (vitamins, following up on the steroids for asthma, etc). Please don't feel that you are the one who should be searching nonstop for a diagnosis.

I hope you can find support for yourself and your dc.

I didn't say people with asthma get more colds or suffer more flu.

I mentioned before I was diagnosed and treated I struggled with lots of cold, chest infections, flu - likely a a trigger for development of asthma or making it harder for me to recover quickly with symptoms lingering longer before I got hit again.

Now my asthma is under control with treatment it just affects breathing a bit before and for me colds don't last any longer than a normal person.

I just wondered if that was a contributing issue for OP DH worry around colds- it's possibly affecting his breathing slightly making him worry more - it's something they can quickly follow up with GP.