Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

Thanks for that Ornamental

Hi - please may I join in? I've been lurking on and off for a while. I'm just so upset with myself as I'd managed 6 weeks without alcohol and then had some horrible news this week and i'm right back to drinking too much. Have had a bottle of wine tonight already and want more. No doubt bad news is just an excuse but I can't seem to cope without wine.

hi cindycat and of course you can join in

Well done on the six weeks, and sorry that you had bad news and that it has caused you to cave in; Bad news of any kind makes things very difficult from my own pov.

I think the thing is not to be too hard on yourself, see tonight for the hiccup that it is and try to get back on track tomorrow.

I've gotta dash just now as I'm off for an early night. (I've had a migraine all afternoon (kokeshi, might this be something to do with withdrawal symptoms? I'm on day 4 now)), but there's bound to be someone else along shortly; it can get quite busy at the weekend.

Be kind to yourself. xx

cindycat, are you still around?

thanks lardymardy. am on and off as am trying to mumsnet on the quiet, not wanting dh to know i'm writing this! hope you feel better soon - well done on day 4!

can you talk to your DH about how you feel? does he know about your drinking?

I've really got to go now (my DH has been away all week and is now feeling neglected and bored in the other room; least I can do is talk to him now ), but I'm sure someone will be around later....altough it's unusually quiet tonight.

Take Care xx

HI Cindycat and well done for not drinking for those 6 weeks.

If you look back over the thread, OHaggis has posted some questions to help people think about their drinking- would it help to find them and maybe have a think about them? Obviously I don't know your history, so sorry if I am stating the bleedin' obvious!

Please keep posting, its very brave to come out and admit you have a problem with alcohol. Have you had a drink tonight?

I hope everyone else is well tonight. I am around for a bit, if anyone wants to chat. However, I've written that before and it ensures NOONE posts...

< teasle pulls her cardigan tightly around her body, adjusts her slipper socks and slinks off to bed>

Well done Cindycat for not drinking for 6 weeks - I would be giving myself a standing ovation if I had managed that.

Had an alcohol free day today. Kids are sleeping and am feeling quite hyper tonight.

Seem to have lost the will to sleep.

Teasle I feel dead envious.

Hi everyone,
Am new to this and am so heartened(!) to find I'm not alone in feeling terrified/out-of-control about drinking.
Am not actually a Mum but would like to have a baby but with my drinking as it is (and I'm 36 now), there's not a hope in hell. I currently drink a minimum of a bottle of wine a night and more at the weekend. Every day I imagine I can feel my liver/kidneys packing up but it still doesn't stop me. I'm generally hard-working, active, generally efficient but the drink floors me every evening. I've also suffered with depression/eating disorders throughout my life and am currently on ad's. There's nothing in my life that's particularly awful at the moment - I'm busy with work (am a freelancer so that's important) and I have a lovely lovely partner and very good friends (although also heavy drinkers).
I'm terrified that I'll be judged - the reality of putting what I actually drink down in writing is very scary!
Would love to have advice/shared experiences from people who have(or have had) similar experiences...
I'm away this weekend (lots of drinking on the cards but I see it as 'legit' drinking as out with friends) but will log-on on sunday evening...
Thanks for letting me shed my load of worries!
russ72

Jellibabe- my sleep pattern took ages to settle down when I very first stopped drinking- I felt hyper too for quite a while. I was a heavy habitual drinker and it took a few months really to sort itself out naturally. I don't know if this is medically correct, but I assumed that because the alcohol had been depressing my whole system, when I stopped I felt really speedy for a while, as I readjusted to the lack of alcohol in my body.

Sleep is great now- I quite enjoy feeling 'properly' tired, i.e. because I've been really busy, compared to the perpetual 'ill' tired of a run-down alcoholic, which is what I was.

Are you jealous of my cardigan and slipper sox or that I was going to bed? If its the cardi I can further inflame your jealousy...its beige...

Hello Russ welcome to the thread.

Hello to everyone else.

Morning all! I don't know really if I should post here, since my drinking is not so out of control for now. Russ, I was older than you are when my 1st baby was born, and like you, I drank and had eds and anti ds and things... Alcohol isn't good for fertility if you're serious about getting pg. A friend managed to give up a habit of 2 bottles of wine a day to get pg. I didn't stop until I was pg. I thought it would never happen. If you're really worried about your liver etc, go and get it checked by the doc. It's rotten to beat yourself up about what you don't know, especially if you are feeling a bit out of control and as though it's all your fault.

Hope you're having a good weekend. Down Your Drink has helpful stuff. I get emails to fill in every now and again. Like with the eating, it can help to write things down.

morning.

teasle, I've been feeling really hyper all week, and just not tired at all at bedtime. I suppose it's because I'm usually half-pissed and tired from not getting a great sleep because of the booze. I think I probably need less sleep now that it seems to be proper sleep I'm getting rather than semi-unconsciousness.

hi russ and welcome to the thread . I hope we can help you think and talk things through and give you the support you need to stop drinking. I'm sure that wanting a baby is a good incentive, but fom my own experience I know how hard it can be.

I'm also on ADs and inspite of my MH HCPs telling me that alcohol counteracts the effect of the ADs, it was still hard to stop. I've been on this thread for a good few months now, and it's only now that I've had to strength to actually do it. I'm taking it one day at a time as others have advised, and each day I'm sober makes me thjat little bit more determined to stay sober again the next day.

right off to take my little monster to his swimming lesson.

I'll catch up later.

daisy xx

hi hellobello.....keep dropping in, it's good for everyone to hear about a success story and to know that you are still in control and on top of things.

I hope things are getting better healthwise for you as well. Take Care x

The colour of the top I have on today is beige - do you think we are Trinny and Suzanne's alter egos?

Daisy it's reassuring to read your posts too. Didn't appreciate that the lack of sleep and sudden burst of energy could be alcohol related.

Feel quite edgey today. Xp was an hour and a half late collecting the kids today so my anxiety is starting to race again. Saturday is my hardest day. No kids so not quite the same incentive to stay of the booze. Meeting my sister this afternoon and trying to keep busy.

Welcome to Russ. If your concerned about your alcohol intake why don't you have a planned night off. If you find it a struggle that should help you gauge how much of a problem it's becoming.

I don't care whether people join this thread because their curious or have slight/major concerns. If they get anything out of it and contribute some opinions that can only be a good thing.

Hey Jellibabe- yes its a really good idea to plan things to do- like meeting your sister.
I'm having tea out tonight- hu-bloody-rah, love eating food that someone else has made!

Only another hour till the shops close and I am committed to a night of sobriety.

hang on in there jellibabe

I nearly caved earlier...I've had a very bad day...but my DH wouldn't buy me any wine when he went to the shop for the cigars that he said he'd stop smoking if I stopped drinking red wine

I so want to get narky with him about not keeping his side of the bargain, but I'm trying to be charitable about it.....

of course I could go myself as for the first Saturday night in I can't remember when I can still drive the car myself.

Offies here are all shut now though.

Thanks Daisy - thought I would feel like Julie Andrews. Feel instead as if I'm being punished. Know it's for my own good.

Glad to hear you have managed it and I'm not on my own. Sat in the car after leaving my sisters agonizing over whether or not to go to the off licence. Decided to go home and check out Mumsnet for some support first.

Honestly can't remember when I was last sober on a Saturday night.

PS was feeling so sorry for self I thought I might do something really exciting like clean the toilet.

Ok make that am - loo is now sparkling.

Jellibabe I'm very impressed - wish my loo was sparkling.

I some how managed to get my dh to go to the local tesco express and buy another bottle of wine to share. He's now fallen asleep watching one of the Bourne (Matt Damon - worth a watch!) films. So am very tempted to finish the bottle on my own now. Thanks for all the good advice / support since my first post. Would love to carry on talking here as it's the only place where i've met people who know what it's like and who i feel i can be honest with. Don't know about you, but i find the shame of it all really hard and try to hide the drinking from everyone. My dh knows i drink too much but not quite how much. He'd be really upset to think it had got to the point were i was even posting here. But i'm not, which i suppose is a step in the right direction. Will try to find more social times to post, though!

Morning ladies. It's nice to get up and not feel guilty. Once the shops had shut and I knew alcohol was out of my clutches I had a little more inner peace.

Cindycat I am glad you have somewhere to go where you can explore your thoughts and get some unbiased feedback.

It can be very lonely struggling with alcohol. I felt too ashamed to talk to other people about it. Was also worried that if I did I would instantly be committed to never ever being able to drink again. So I began to hide it and cover up. The worst thing about this was it led to me drinking at inappropriate times.

My xp very rarely drank at home. He went out more and only really drank with friends or on social occasions. I hardly ever went out. I drank in the house because it was cheaper and I felt safe. Have always been a bit of a solitary creature and am not great at making friends or socializing. Financially I don't have much money for socializing so that combined with alcohol meant I gradually began to isolate myself (more than I was already).

Even before we split my drinking was an issue. I remember one xmas he bought me a 3 ltr box of wine as an xmas present. Big mistake - god the grief I got for drinking it. Though to be fair I think he was concerned about the speed with which it disappeared.

Have an appointment with the addiction clinic on Friday so will let you know how I get on. It's a self referral don't know if that makes any difference in the scheme of things. They seemed really nice on the phone. The lady I spoke to told me that often people use drink to mask problems in their life such as relationships or finance. Once they tackle these problems their drinking often returns to a more acceptable social level. Apparently they only advise some people to completely stop drinking.

Have managed one saturday night so have a long way to go before I crack this problem. This is beginning to read like a novel so think I will go now.

Keep posting.

Hello everyone. I havent posted on here for about 6 weeks as I have been too ashamed.

I have got nowhere with my plan to minimise the amount of booze I drink. I have the odd alcohol free day, but that is probably once every 2-3 weeks. I am managing to put away about 7 units on a "school" night and probably 10 on a Friday and Saturday, I dont even want to add that up as it frightens me. But it doesnt stop me.

So I am back, hello to everyone who has come on here since Xmas, I need the support to try again......