No dog-ends. No roll-ups. No 'Just One's. NO SMOKING!!!

[minkmama]

Morning girls, not subtle i know but hey, some of us need this

eek we never smoke around her outside in the sense of I don't push the buggy with fag in hand! But if we are at the park DH might pop off to the other side to have a fag, so not around her really.

STOP TALKING JENNI!

Its ok talk away...I have kidded myself that by smoking weed I am not smoking...doesnt work ill be ok for a wee while then ill spend a day smoking joints only...and then I realise ive ballsed up and am a nicotine junkie again...have you been to whyquit.com?
Excellent shit there

Your dd is too young yet to notice that your an idiot But stop before she notices!

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender.

For example:

1. Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2. Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3. Tyre -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10. Remote Control Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying

LMAO at that!!!

You've been better at hiding it than I was Jenni. I often could be seen puffing madly away while pushing the pram, trying to direct dd's attention to the crappy looking geese on our lake so she wouldn't say 'ooh ... what's that mummy?' in her best 'I'm-an-innocent-about-to-be-ruined-by-you-you-sad-old-fag-hag' voice.

And to be honest Jenni if it keeps you away from smoking, the Superman costume changes are a good thing, not stupid at all.

LOL at those words! Now I am very tempted to have a fag, but must resist!!

I didnt even try to hide. I didnt smoke up my kids noses but I did say at least 8-9 times a day "In a minute im just going outside for a fag" and now when i hear dp saying it i just think "You fool" for a number of reasons...mainly he is saying this evil deathly weed is more important than you and because also by him doing that he is confiming to them how great smoking is...the brainwashing begins...

Where d'you find that one fp?

Thats the good thing about stopping for good. You dont have to resist...you just have to remind yourself you dont do it anymore!

On the only joking bit of MN 2 minutes ago

bluemoon DH is TERRIBLE. Caught him HOLDING her and smoking once. I am determined that she will not grow up thinking smoking is normal kwim?

TBH I get more stressed at work, so the urges are stronger than as well. At home I can drink wine/whiskey/vodka and eat chocolate

I don't know why but I didn't want to give a fag a name so I always redirected dd's attention from what I was doing, though she always redirected it again towards what I was doing. If ever she asked I always said 'nothing. Mummy's doing nothing' and she'd kind of lose interest. However I knew that had a very limited life span!

We're in a flat so I've never smoked at home indoors since she was born. We have a corner kitchen window that opens right out and in desperate moments I'd hang right out of that. We're on the 21st floor so not a great move really ...

Hmmm I know...some people just dont get that smoking is hideous. Most of my friends...including my neighbour who is a teacher...which IMO makes her responsible so she shouldnt do it smoke sitting in thier living rooms while thier kids play on the floor and they dont think anything of it...but when they come to mine they shoooo out the back door. So they KNOW its not ok to do it under my kids faces...but they do it under thier own? EW NO. I feel like saying something but I never do. I do often get up and open windows even if its not my house and send my kids out of the room just to get the point across...lol...

Well ... I think your dh is awful for doing that, but there's no point not being honest here. Jenni, there were a couple of moments with dd when she was a newborn and had awful colic for up to 6 hours in the evenings and I'd have to walk round with her tummy pressed on my shoulder and I'd have a fag with my head pressed out the crack in the window. Dp has always worked very long hours and I've done the vast majority of care of dd solo and there have been times it's taken its toll.

I'm so glad I've stopped though.

Had you have fallen out of that you really would have "Died for a fag" LOL!!!

WOW 21st floor I bet you have an amzing view. We are in a terrace surrounded by other terraces. I have always insisted that we smoke outside in this house. In our old house before DD we only smoked downstairs.

I am dreading the day DD realises what DH is doing.

ACtually even in my heaviest smoking moments I could never have sat in the same room with dd and smoked a fag into the air of the room as it were. I'd feel so guilty!

Sorry if I offended you there Bluemoon I understand that completely!! DH just does not think at all before he lights up, its not because he is stressed and has nobody to give her too. I find myself doing a lot of the care for dd too so I can relate to that and sometimes I have wanted to just walk out when I am so tired I can't cope anymore.

We do have an amazing view, Jenni. We're 5 mintues from the Thames and can see most of the major London Bridges as well as that pathetic wheel.

It used to be sheer joy to have a fag while looking out at the London lights in the evening ... sigh ...

Not offended at all, Jenni. I was actually responding to fp's comments about people smoking in the room with their kids.

I did walk out last night in a moment of madness...

From my back garden I can see walls. And the back of someones house! From my bedroom window I can barely see sky. I love living in the inncer city

I always thought living in London would be lovely lots to do and all.

I'm off for ANOTHER early night now.

Sleep well.

Keep that pack in your bag, Jenni!

Quicky: London is lovely to live in, but hell to raise kids in! Dp and I have had a fabulous time here but are now very keen to move out.

fp, I want to know why you almost walked out but dp is summoning me to bed and reminding me how pissed off I'll be in the morning if I turn in late given dd's coughing extravaganzas. So I'll have to return to this one tomorrow...