Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

The old one is here, just so we don't get lost!

By DaisyNightingale:

"not brave at all teasle......It's easy to talk about this to a bunch of faceless names, iyswim, it is far far more difficult to talk about things on this level in RL.

Kokeshi, you always seem to know exactly what to say, and for that I'm very grateful. My appointment today has been taken out of my hands though, as the hospital called to reschedule. I will definitely talk to him about it when I see him next. Hopefully then I'll have got things under control somewhat

Feeling a bit hungover this morning, but I've been out for a walk with the buggy after dropping DS at school, so feeling much better. I was at baby clinic this morning and had a brief chat with the MH nurse. she is going to get some information together for me.

thanks for the support "

I just copied this over Daisy so I could respond to it.

Don't minimise what you're doing here by posting. The most important step in all of this is admitting it to yourself and it's here and black and white. That is a huge step in my opinion. We can only do a wee bit at a time. The denial is a huge obstacle in the lives of many performing alcoholics and many will die before they can reach this stage. I, for one, think you're being amazingly brave.

MAybe the appointment being rescheduled is a blessing, you can better plan what to say to him? I think it's a fantastic opportunity to bring this to his attention though. He may have suspicions but unless you tell him, then there's not a lot they can do. Also well done for talking to the mental health nurse. You're putting things in place for yourself and that takes a lot of courage. Stay with us and let us know how you go. Your mum is in my thoughts and prayers.

thanks kokeshi

I'd like to say I'm not going to have any wine tonight, and at this point in the day, that seems like an achievable target. However, I know that come tea-time, I'll be looking forward to getting the DCs in bed and cracking open a bottle .

I think it's important to want to be ready to do something about it. Try your best but don't beat yourself up in the circumstances. It'll be your own feelings that persuade you to take action, rather than what others tell you. But please keep posting on here.

Hello again. I hope you don't mind me lurking.. I guess I'm more preoccupied with tits and bum stuff than with the booze at the moment. The drugs I'm on for my gut wipe me out fairly well and to be honest I don't dare drink too much. It feels like a bit of a sea change. Whether or not it will last, I know not.

I would like to have a few more evenings without alcohol, and I certainly have no laurels to rest on.

BM, you have done so well. I remember the thread you started which seems like an age ago, and Kokeshi, you're still here supporting everyone and making the impossible become possible.

Alcohol's just one of those things, great to have fun with, but lousy to set up home with, and horribly demanding.

HBB, oh I hoped you'd come back - you're always welcome here, you don't have to talk about drinking. In fact I find nowadays I talk about what's going on in my life and how it affects me, as I stopped drinking some time ago. Shit still happens though and I don't get immunity from life because I'm sober.

I think stopping/cutting down drinking is only one part of the solution. Many of us found that the reason we turn to drink in the first place is because we weren't taught/shown how to deal effectively with our emotions by our own parents. So the next stage for me is finding a way to live without trying to change how I feel and accepting life on life's terms.

We can use anything to change how we feel, and it's something I still have to watch out for, because it's hard to sit through the bad times and let them pass. Much easier to distract yourself with food, shopping, gambling, drink, drugs, sex etc. The only problem is that all that stuff I was trying to avoid is still there and I'm dragging it around like a ball and chain.

I guess for me it's a work in progress, but I know the best with it is try to share how I feel and allow myself to open up to people.

I know AA and abstinence from drinking isn't the answer for everyone, but I do think we all drink for similar emotional reasons and thus can all help one another.

Thank you for your kind words but I'm really not doing anything at all. Everyone on this thread has taken responsibility for their own recovery, all I do is point them in the direction that I went in and hope it can help. No worries if it's not for you though.

Oh, and I feel like I have built up a wee network of pals on here and look forwerd to everyone coming together and helping each other.

Just checking in...

Back from a lunchtime meeting.Got to dash and pick ds from school,will post later.

*Waves at everyone...hope you are all well.

Hi everyone

Kokeshi, thanks for starting this new thread. Great introductory post and advice as usual

Hi Daisy - nice to see you unmasked I agree with teasle and Kokeshi - it is a big deal to post honestly and then to come back and post more under your normal chatname. Apart from my DS's dad and a few AA members, I haven't spoke openly in real life about my drinking either - and I started this journey back in May. Posting on here helps me to understand my thoughts and put my fears into perspective. The support has been invaluable too.

I'm so sorry to read about your mum xx

Hi teasle - haven't 'seen' you in a while. Nice to have you back

Any lurkers want to join in now we're all relative newcomers again?

Oh and hi to HelloBello as well. Lovely to have you back here. Keep us updated, won't you?

HI everyone.

Hi Folks, glad you found it! Look forward to all the insights on this one too.

I'm just writing a wee bit before I go to my meeting tonight, but I will check in later.

We've just had DP's mother down from Aberdeen and I I had to pick my jaw up off the floor after some of the things she said to DP. No wonder poor DP is an alkie .

Here's a small selection, if you can imagine the broad Aberdonian accent it's even better:

"Fit's that? IS that you? It's nae! I widnae have known ye, ken yer awfy fat in that photo"

Translation: "What's that, it that you? No! I wouldn't have recognised you, you've put on a bit of weight in that photie"

Or:

"Ken yer awfy auld and tired lookin in that een. Oh ye shouldnae wear that white t-shirt ken, look it the size o yer belly"

Translation: "You know, you're rather old and tired looking in that one. That white t-shirt is misguided, it makes your stomach protrude".

She said something similar about DP in every pic. Poor thing, I have some ego massaging to do tonight.

PS Neither DP or I are called Ken, it's a north-eastern Scottish word for "you know".

Jesus, what an unpleasant old bitch

I tried to decode the first 'insult' before I noticed that you'd offered a translation underneath

Enjoy your meeting tonight, and yeah, you're gonna have to be extremely generous with compliments to poor DP tonight to balance this afternoon out.

LOL at your translation of Aberdonian kokeshi....and the overuse of "ken". It's not just north eastern, more of an all scotland thing, but worst in the east. We had a guy at Uni who was nicknamed Ken because of his punctuating every sentence with about 10 "kens". I came in to the year group late, and it took me over a year to realise his name wasn't actually Ken .....and I'm from just north of Edinburgh!

have a good meeting.

I'm having a few glasses of wine tonight, but am feeling a little better about the world. I had my hair done this afternoon which always gives me a little lift. how I'll feel tomorrow when I can't restyle it like the hairdresser and look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards

oh DaisyNightingale, I didn't realise you were Scot too. Oh and I beg to differ, there are no kens over here in Glesga. Plenty of neds, but no kens .

I knew someone from Saltcoats who favoured the use of ken, but nowhere further north on the Wild West I'm afraid.

Oh wait a minute, Edinburgh, isn't that just a northern English city .

Glad you're feeling better today.

BrassicMonkey, I wish you could hear this accent it's actually quite funny. DP's mother can be as scathing as hell and make it sounds innocent and sweet. I spent 4 years in Aberdeen at uni and the doric is impenetrable.

Old cow! Hope DP didn't take it too personally- probably used to it eh?

Hope everyone is having a good night. I don't know how all youse lot stay up so late.
[shuffles off to bed]

Night night teasle

lol kokeshi......I didnae ken you wur fae Glesgae....and I staund corrected on the ken front.

I'm fae Kirkcaldy....same school as our RH PM don't you know....but I did live in the most northerly home county of Edinburgh for some 15 years.

I'm now in Leeds........it's OK, but it's just not Scotland

We used to go on holiday every year to Aboyne, and lots of Aberdonians had second homes there so I'm v familiar with the doric. It's such a lilting accent. The tone is mesmerising, even if you can't understand the words. We were playing football once and oour ball landed in someone else's picnic. The chapo asked my sister "dae ye vant the ba'?" and my mum hadto translate that the gentleman was asking of we wanted our ball back.....hilarious......

but Aberdeen "Rowies" though....nothing like them on earth

sorry folks for the slight hi-jack....

Oh god they Rowies - AKA buttery - about a day's calorie allowance right there wrapped in an innocuous looking wee pastry. I bought them in Asda down here and they were just not a patch on the real thing.

Gosh it is a small world. My aunt and uncle lived in Kirkcaldy for about 20 years - Dunnikier I think - and my flatmate in first year at uni was a rather strange farmer's daughter from Aboyne. She had the room across from me and we used to hear her having conversations with herself of an evening! Oh tis good to reminisce. Actually she probably had better conversations with herself than the rest of us after we'd imbibed many a pint of Diesel at the student union

I'm off to bed. Hope you've all had a nice evening.

Makes your stomach protrude? How awful for your DP k.

My parents once said I was fat, in front of one of my friends...that was it for me.
No-one I repeeat no-one takes the mickey out of my muffin top ever again. That's a child reaering belly is that muffin top!

Looking a bit tired? Well, don't we all! Miserable old bag! Sorry k, I just hate people who don't have a positive thing to say. It's not necessary and not justified. At least tell the person you love them, something my parents never ever told me.

Doing ok here tonight. Been doing some cross stitch, some housework, some reading and chatted to someone from here on msn.
Starting to feel really cold again though. Another meeting tomorrow.

Kokeshi and Daisy...your hijack was funny! The only Ken I ever knew was Barbies boyfriend

Sleep well all and have a great day tomorrow x x

Ooh great to see you PurpleOne, I'm just signing offmfor the night but glad I refreshed one more time. Your doing fab and the chills will pass. Try drinking some lovely hot tea or a milky drink to get you to sleep at night. Failing that, get some layers on ya!

Hope you have a good meeting tomorrow. All the best.

How is everyone today?

Hi everyone

I'm fine Kokeshi, thanks for asking. How's everyone else today?

I enjoyed the Scottish banter from last night. Do you all do that cannae, didnae, wouldnae thing? I've never met a Scottish person that didn't do it in real life, but I've never seen it typed on here. Is it official language or slang?

Hey BrassicMOnkey, it's a nightmare when you get a flare up isn't it? I've noticed that mine went from being everywhere to only small patches very slowly but surely. I tend to get it less and less now, and each time the flare ups are less severe. I know myself there was a huge correlation between how my liver was functioning and how my skin was.

I find winter time - and the lack of sunlight - causes flare ups, and I'm hoping the fact I've had a nice wee build up of sun this year will act as a barrier against getting it this year. Other times, it's just totally random. I get quite bad psoriasis on my scalp, which looks nasty and is quite embarrassing and it's really unpredictable. Overall though, it's so much better. So take heart!

Sorry DS isn't well still. My nephew, his mum and his new wee brother are all ill with some D&V bug so I haven't seen him this week . This time of year is a drag!

I hate it Kokeshi. It was definitely worse when I was drinking, really raw and unsightly. I have had improvement on my body and face but there are still a few patches that just won't budge. I'm considering having a course of sunbeds as they used to keep it under control when I was younger. I'm noticing a few wrinkles though, and longterm vanity is holding me back (plus I might look at bit silly with a suntan at Christmas )

My scalp is still covered though and that makes me feel really scummy. I usually sign a disclaimer so that there's no come back if I get a bad reaction from a colour, but I don't think a hairdresser would work on me at the moment regardless. I'm sure it's to do with the central heating in here. When DS is at school and I'm moving about all day I don't have it on, but he's been cold so I've had to.

Have you found anything that helps at all. I've got betnovate and dermobase (???) cream and scalp lotion from the doctors and they do kind of blitz it away for a few days - but if I used them all the time I'd be worried about skin thinning, especially as it's only really my face and scalp that bother me. I've tried a few natural products that have been extremely expensive...and absolutely useless.

Have you had any success with products?