Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

I' pretty disappointed in it to be honest. I bought 2 new toshiba/vista laptops in the summer, good specs: intel core duo 2 processors, 120gb HDD, 1gb RAM and they're actually slower than my ten year old rebuilt PC with XP on it.

Here's thing that pissed me off most though. I bought 2 top of the range logitech web cams and installed the latest skype on both of the laptops just before I left for Oz. I left one laptop with my mum, hoping to make free video calls regularly with everyone whilst I was there. After much stress on both hemispheres I discovered that it was Vista that wasn't compatible with this webcam on Skype. I was fucking furious. And still spent a bloody fortune on calls!

It was the salesman in PC world that told me about the 500MB thing. I used to merrily sit there with dreamweaver, photoshop and firefox all open on the old desktop. Wouldn't even consider that now. Oh yeah, and it looks like I'm going to have to buy a new version of photoshop. Grrrrrrrrr.

Hi all. Haven't had a drink for 2 months! On my own a lot this weekend and really feeling the need, so I just want someone to tell me I don't really need it, and that I can get along without it.

Well done! 2 months is a long time! I had a month booze-free, but I was in hospital for most of that, so it doesn't count so well.

I've just got a new laptop, and dh said to avoid Vista like the plague if you can (far easier said than done). It is full of problems and XP is still current and valid. He's a computer boffin and really likes Linux.

I don't really care as long as it works!

It's far nicer not to have to drink, and to be able to tell the craving to go to hell. It's so different drinking because it tastes good to drinking to get drunk.

A couple of nights ago I hit the gin a bit and cried and cried and cried. I'm not coping very well with this disintegration of my body. Still no period. First blip in over 25 years, and almost impossible to be pg.

Hey SueBaRoomForAMincePie, welcome to the thread! That's an amazing amount of time to be booze free, really well done.

YOu most definitely do not need it, it will only make you feel all shite and maudlin, and then when you wake up you'll feel like a huge failure for undoing all that great work. You've come this far you definitely can do a wee weekend!

Why don't you think about other things you enjoy that you can pamper yourself with? You know, I've done this myself, and it;s actually been an enormous let down. The best part of it was building it up in my head to what it could be.,and in reality it was nothing like that at all. I had romanticised sitting by myself with no interruptions enjoying the sensations of being carefree and just a little bit naughty. I was sorely disappointed. After the second glass, I just started to feel even lonelier and panicky and that I'd let myself down. So I just went for oblivion as quick as I could. Kinda defeated the whole purpose of it really!

Anyway, come and join us on here and we'll keep you company over the weekend if you're having a hard time.

Hellobello, what does that mean about the blip? Sorry to be a bit thick.

hellobello, I saw your posts on anoraks thread. I didn't know you had BC, and I'm sorry to hear about all your other ills

I hope things start to get better for you soon and that the colitis settles down.

well done Suebaroo on 2 dry months.....I've yet tpo manage two dry days (DH brought me in some wine tonight...it's been a very trying day with a poorly, clingy DD...well that's my excuse

I'm headed up to Scotland tomorrow; probably to see my mum for the last time . Her condition has worsened again, and she is being assessed daily to see whether she needs to be admitted to the hospice. I'm wary of taking spotty DD anywhere near her, but my doc has assured me that it's nothing sinister and that as long as mum doesn't hold her, she should be OK. I nearly cracked up at that as I doubt she will have the strength to hold her anyway

I'll catch you all next week sometime.

Suebaroo....you don't need it; get some lovely fruit juices and some chocolates, some candles and a video and manicure your hands and feet and paint your nails(impossible to do drunk). keep strong

Hi ladies - not posted since Tuesday. AFter two days off the booze, I went crazy on Tuesday night and drank about 10 units.....DH was shouted at, it was a disaster. Last night I managed again to not have anything so I am really pleased to have done 3 nights in one week without. Tonight I have had one glass of wine and am now having an apple juice! I am still finding it really hard of course, every day I want to drink but have to stop myself.

I'll be thinking of you seeing your mum, TwelveDaisys.

CL, 10 units, that's not bad - it's about what a bottle of wine has. You're doing well.

Dh and I are sharing a bottle tonight, and I feel as though I've had quite enough.

I hate drinking on my own. I used to prop up the bar before it started propping up me, but that hasn't happened since I very very rarely go to the pub any more!

My period has gone AWOL, and it's the 1st time in 25 years, since I was about sweet 16 that this has happened. I don't know if my body has been shocked into a (relatively) early menopause. It's all a bit confusing.

How's friday evening treating everyone so far? I'm still not over this bug and I've been stuck indoors since tuesday eve. Not that long admittedly, but it kinda gets you down.

Regale me with all you positive stories, or just come and join me for a whinge

HI Kokeshi- sorry you are feeling ropey still. Have no positive stories, am sat wondering what to do. I could go and find some friends, but the ones who are around tonight are probably pissed by now. Am a tad bored so I really should go and find something to do.

Could whinge, obviously, but feel I should make more of an effort not to...!

Anyone else?

Oh you have permission to whinge teasletinsel! We're all allowed to feel ropey now and again!

Well, have seen a couple of friends for an hour and had a nice time after all!

Result!

Hi everyone

I've just got back from a kids party...in a pub . Actually the party was above the pub and I think the bar only served hot and soft drinks. It really surprised me that none of the parents went downstairs for an alcoholic drink.

How is everyone doing today? I'm really tired so am going to have an early night and miss out on my usual Saturday night session of feeling sorry for myself because I'm sober. It's sooo bloody cold today as well.

Hi Guys, how has the weekend been? It's absolutely baltic up here. It's quite pretty though, all the hills and munroes are snow-capped and it was relatively dry today. It makes such a difference when you get at least a wee bit of blue sky and sunlight.

I guess we're all hiding under our fleeces and duvets tonight!
Hope everybody had a great weekend, although I'm doing really well but not looking forward to the thoughts of a 'pissed up' xmas. My time will come this weekend, a mate is coming, a true beer monster

IMVHO weekends are diff for me, as long as I'm getting up in the week, for my kids, school and work...I'm doing well! x x

Hi Purple, I am trying to do the weekend thing too but I work on Saturdays so am really struggling to 'fit in' the boozing and hangovers. How pathetic am I?. Take this week for example, not had anything since Friday night as have been a work all evenings. Tonight am at wor, tomorrow is my 'dodgy' night where I am always tempted but its DS nativity on Thurs and I would love a clear head for that. fri, sat am at work. This RL nonsense doesn't half get in the way of becoming a total piss head doesnt it?.

'Ideally' I would wait till Thursday night to have anything so that I can do all my wrapping and cards etc at same time as is one of fave xmas jobs. Am v excited this year as first year in 5 that I haven't been clinically depressed - thank you prozac!

Isn't Prozac fantastic! I was on it for years, and when I was put on it, it was the first time in my life that I didn't feel like a complete outsider freak.

Sometimes I think that drinking is a bit of self-medication, albeit one that doesn't work at all well.

I drank far too much over the weekend, but was very restrained last night at my 1st breast cancer party, 1/2 a glass of wine!

I'm really shaky from the steroids. Not nice.

Hi all - hellobello - forgive me for my ignorance as I havent read the full threads on the dependent drinkers - why are you on steroids? Sorry if this is an invasive question.

As for me, well...I would say I am halfway there. I unfortunately drank Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. And each time I pretty much got wasted, I would say 10 units each night. So even though I had three days off the booze during the week, I still managed to put away absolutely loads on teh nights when I did drink, thus pretty much defeating the purpose.

Last night though I did stay off it and am pleased with myself. It seems that if I have one, I have to have lots and lots and lots........

Agree with you HBB for using drink for self medication although the trouble with that (and we all know it)it creates more depression and self pitying behaviour-it certainly takes my anxiety away when I use it but oh boy-the following day the anxiety is back ten fold.

I was anti-d's for over 10 yrs (seroxat) and they took away my crippling social phobia and depression,it truly was like a light coming on-but sadly I STILL self medicated with alcohol and ended up living in a permanent fog of highs and lows.I stopped my meds a few yrs back and am just dealing with my social phobia the best I can,thankfully my depression hasn't returned.

STILL not drinking through the week although I have dh's works do tomorrow night (he's driving so not drinking) and I'm determined not to get pissed but I know I will use a few glasses of wine to curb my social phobia..

Hope you feel better soon HBB, and well done Purple and Monkey!!

Positive vibes

Complete understand CL about not being able to say no,its that old thang of having a addictive personality.

I find once I start say like a friday night I find it hard for it not to roll onto saturday AND sunday and then the cycle starts..

Slightly easier(?!) for me at the moment as we are basically skint and theres no spare money for bottles of wine for DH and I in the week...I've had 5 bottles of wine 18days which is a major cut down for me (some weeks it was 7 bottles )

You are cutting down CL...pat yourself on the back!

Am ashamed to say that ten units (a bottle of wine) is a warm up exercise for me!. I drink a couple of bottles (approx 20 units) when I do drink which I limit strictly to twice a week. If I drink red wine I get headache next day and I dont with white but with both I am down and anxious and nervous the nest day.

HBB, when I started taking prozac I felt like the 'bit' of me that I had always thought had been missing had been found. I felt like I belonged to society again and that I was contributing and not just watching. When I am hungover I feel like the outsider again. I have always used alcohol to find that missing piece of my jigsaw but it ends up taking other bits away and the 'holes' in your personality get bigger. I am taking some positive steps towards this with the meds and am starting counselling in new year. DD at full time school and DS starts nursery soon so am hoping that I can claim some time back for me - to find out who I am. I have heard people say that the feel their emotinal development stops when they start drinking (usually at 18 ish!) and that the ability to actually deal with stuff in an adult way isnt there. I want to investigate this as much as I can. 2008 is MY year and I am going to grab as much of it as I can. I am going to make no room in my life for wine. Its kie losing my best friend and worst enemy all in one go.

I think you're right about the stunted emotional development monkeybutler. It happens with eating problems too.

Have you had any therapy at all? I've had a lot over the years. I had some really brilliant therapy last year until this summer which was part of a psychological experiment study. With so much other crap buzzing around in my head there wasn't time to look at the drinking. Anyway, sometimes I feel I have a few more tools to deal with it. Sometimes...

CL, I was diagnosed with colitis and I'm on a 6 week course of steroids. It's been a bad couple of months for me healthwise, first bc diagnosis, mastectomy, then colitis. I have had liver scans, bone scans, bood tests for every organ function. Because of the side effects of the steroids the doctor wants more of my blood. I've had enough. Really, it's enough to drive one to drink... I was very alarmed that they were actually scanning me for bowel cancer as well.

HI Hellobello- god you are coping with so much stuff going on health-wise. Are you starting to feel a bit better yet?

observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,2222925,00.html

My mum said somehing to DD1 when she called up 'off the cuff' tonight...am furious!
So much for festive spirit.
Had downed a few beers, called her back and left message on ansaphone (we haven't spoke for 4 months?) and I called her a bitter and twsited old bag...'merry christmas mum'. That behaviour was well out of order IMVHO, she didn't even say hello and DD1 got the comment down the phone.
Am glad I had a few beers, not pissed BTW, would be sitting her sober, freezing cold and absolutely seething.