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Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

1000 replies

kokeshi · 28/11/2007 12:14

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

OP posts:
kokeshi · 02/12/2007 21:52

hellobello about the hospital hand-rub. I wonder if I would have been tempted

OP posts:
PurpleOne · 02/12/2007 23:29

I saw an article like that on the bbc website about the handrub. Am totally that people would drink it!

BM, thanks for sharing your honesty. It gives us all strength and hope. I'm just waiting for the time when I have a shite day.

Me? I'm fine. It's been a hard going week, but productivity was great. So much more energy than I had before...and a few extra pounds in my pocket too!

Hope everybody else has had a great weekend.

x x

havalina · 02/12/2007 23:57

I used to work in a hospital and always wondered if it was possible to drink it lol (not that I would)

BaubleMonkey · 03/12/2007 00:36

Thanks everyone

I feel so much better today. I've done a lot of thinking and I'm back on track now. I guess I was worried because I know how constant and intense the cravings are when you first try to stay sober and I didn't want to give anyone the impression that it's always going to be like that. This is my longest period of sobriety and I know that that's not true - it does get easier. I know that had I picked up a drink last night then I would still be drunk today and it could take me anywhere. I'd rather have one frustrating day than God knows how many days of drinking to recover from again.

It's so easy for me to slip into that childish foot-stamping frame of mind. I felt genuinely hard done by last night because I couldn't ease my troubles with a drink and I wanted to disregard all that I've learnt from my relapses to do it one more time.

HB, the handwash thing doesn't surprise me tbh. I knew nothing about it until I joined AA and was shocked to learn that some people drink floor polish and mouth wash when they're out of booze . Nice glass of Flash All-purpose anyone? No...how about Plax then?

havalina · 03/12/2007 01:40

Well done baublemonkey I really hope I can be where you are one day

havalina · 03/12/2007 01:46

anybody have any tips where I could pick up a life? I have lost myself, I sometimes have a moment when I look at my kids and think wtf. I don't know who I am anymore, I really don't I am just floating along.

Sorry I have had a drink, but I am just so confused. I don't know what to do, my partner is just so uninvolved, we have nothing in common. Don't know if I want to leave him, is something better than nothing???

teasletinsel · 03/12/2007 09:37

HI BM, glad you are feeling ok again. I do admire how you post when you are feeling crap- I really struggle to do that, even though I know it will make me feel better.

HI Havalina- I'm sorry but when I was drinking I wasn't able to think properly either and I understand how you feel, because it reminds me of myself. I just wasn't able to think anything through, either when I was pissed (obviously) or sober ie hungover. The drink messes with your mind. Thats all I can say really, I know its not particularly comforting.

monkeybutler · 03/12/2007 10:27

How many monkeys on here???. I have been lurking again for a bit as have not had chance to write responses to posts but all OK here. Drinking only on weekends but on Sat night had to go straight to bed after pub as was bladdered. I dont know when to stop once I start. This week another busy one, Weds will be tough again, my Dad gave me two bottles of wine this weekend which are in the kitchen and have been since Saturday. They arent shouting me yet but give them a couple of days and they wil be calling 'monkey, monkey, drink me, drink ALL of me'. May have to set up a diversion for that night.

goingfriggincrazy · 03/12/2007 11:24

Had 2 bottles of wine over the weekend-drunk slow and enjoyed-don't feel that disapointed about it-just fancied a drink with husband but I realise I can't slip in the week as it has a snowball effect...

Its very tough over christmas...everything revolves around booze here.friends,family etc

Hope everyones good!

Chardonnaylover · 03/12/2007 13:22

I did it! I got through a night with no booze! I sipped apple juice out of a wine glass. And I was so deadly tired I went to bed at 9pm. I feel a bit brighter today, but it was just a small step, still a long way to go...

Havalina - your post struck a chord with me, I often feel like that, keep posting on here, I am already feeling like I have more support just from people that I have never met.

And Daisy - it is the same place, I took my own kids just the other day!

tyeanddye · 03/12/2007 14:24

This is a bit random,and probably not very helpful,but some of you may remember me as one of the original members of the drinkers threads,well,i am just recovering from a horribleinfection in my oesophagus,havent been able to eat for nearly two weeks,and could only sip water,now onto drinking yoghurt.I havent had a drink in all that time,me,who drank at least 4 beers and a bottle of wine every day,at least.
I couldnt stop,was sneaking mini bottles of wine and tins of gin and tonic into my shopping to swig on the way home,slippery slope that behaviour!
Im on the mend now,and have no temptation to drink whatsoever..so far.
Its a habit isnt it?like smoking?unless you are an alcoholic already?
I know that alcoholism is a progressive disease that can take few or many years to develop fully,but am now sure that im not there yet,
Wish me luck,and good luck to all of you,xx

tyeanddye · 03/12/2007 14:32

PS,i have no anxiety problems or depression either.......was awful before,i knew booze wasnt helping,but im so much better mentally its a real eye opener!dont want to drink,i know how weak i am,and i love feeling tiddly.

BaubleMonkey · 03/12/2007 17:04

Hi everyone

I had some good news today. My new PC is being delivered tomorrow . My fairly new computer died in the summer and I?m fed up with throwing good money after bad trying to repair it, so I?ve been using a really old borrowed machine. Can?t wait to get my hands on the new one tomorrow.

Havalina, I understand how you feel. I?m pretty much the same now but without the drink to keep me static. I don?t feel I?ve ?matured? since I became pregnant with DS 6.5 years ago. I was drinking problematically by the time DS was 8 months old and I think it?s halted my emotional growth. I usually feel like I?m just pretending to be an adult. I agree with teasle though, it?s much harder to think about things, let alone change things when you?re drinking. I wouldn?t try and make any relationship decisions until you?re drinking is under control or you?ve managed to stop ? whichever you?re intending to do.

Well done Chardonnay. If you can do one night, you can do as many as you want to. Just keep thinking of it as just for today.

Hi tyeanddye. Sorry to hear about the infection. Sounds down right miserable . I don?t know about the habit thing. For me it was definitely a compulsion rather than a habit. Good luck and I?m glad to hear that the anxiety and depression have lifted.

kokeshi · 03/12/2007 17:59

Hi folks. I did something a bit left field today (for me) - I went to the local alcohol service. As many of you know, I've been having problems getting to enough AA meetings since I went deaf last year. It's a long story but I thought about going to the GP and seeing if I couldn't get some input from their own services, with the possibility of them teaming up with AA to provide accessible meetings.

I met a lovely nurse there with whom I had a good chat. They have access to a lot of contacts that may be able to help me put some sort of propsal together, so that's fantastic. They work closely with AA locally too, which I haven't really been to since I got sober this time. Maybe it's about time I got back to my roots!

Anyway, we were discussing some things about early abstinence/withdrawal and she reminded me that it's really important for habitual drinkers boost their vitamin levels. Drinking really depletes our stores of VitB and also our affects our ability to absorb them. These are crucial to good nerve function and if you have been a habitual drinker, your stores of VitB will definitely be lower then normal. Might be worth a trip to the GP, all of those who're abstaining/cutting down? I was prescribed VitB strong myself but I needed reminding how important it was.

NAyway, it was good to talk to her and I was really glad they were trying to all work together instead of at cross purposes like it always appeared to me. I do like to know the scientific side to all of this as well so I felt like it was really helpful to me.

Great to see everyone posting. Welcome back tyeanddye. Stay with us and let us know your progress. I think with this issue, it's really only you that can discern what kind of drinker you actually are. It is worth considering that many people in AA do wish they'd confronted their unhealthy attitudes to alcohol way before they reached the end of the line and lost everything. Regardless I think we can all help each other.

BM, bet you're looking forward to getting the pc. You have to be good to yourself! It's necessary for your recovery .

OP posts:
kokeshi · 03/12/2007 18:56

Oh and chardonnaylover, you're in exactly the same position as me! All any of us have is the day in hand, so if you're not drinking for that day, you're succeeding. Well done.

OP posts:
PurpleOne · 03/12/2007 19:28

I'm having a really hard day today.

Ever so tired and criticism galore. Not really feeling that good about myself tonight...and will do whatever I can to stay indoors tonight. Maybe dinner, bath and bed will be the recipe?

kokeshi · 03/12/2007 20:06

OH purpleONe, tell us what's up? It'll help get it off your chest. These are really difficult things at first, but it's a real achievement when you can stick to your resolve through those hard times. Drink will only be a temporary reprieve, it'll make you feel worse in the long run. Try your best tonight and get to that meeting tomorrow for some face to face support.

You're doing really well, and stuff the others who criticise you. I think you're fab . Be kind to yourself, engage all those things you enjoy and take the cravings minute by minute if necessary. For example, tell yourself, right, I won't drink for the next 30 minutes and keep doing it until it's passed. Before you know it, the offy will be shut and the choice is taken away from you. HAve a lovely early night and get to the meeting tomorrow. These are the times that we all need extra support. You've done amazingly well so far, no point in letting the drink (and the criticisers) win at this point.

Take care and will be checking in regularly to see how you're doing.

OP posts:
BaubleMonkey · 03/12/2007 20:08

Hi Purple. Sorry to hear you're having a shitty day. I think you might be best just to draw it to a close with dinner, bath and bed like you said. Hope you're feeling better by the morning - please don't give into it, it will only make you feel worse.

Hi Kokeshi. I just wrote you an email and then my mum rang. I must have done something wrong with the wires on Saturday as when I picked the phone up I lost my internet connection. Just about to have dinner but I'll try again later.

Good for you for branching out with the alcohol service. I wasn't aware that the 2 worked together at all.

I bought some cheap B vitamins in Tesco recently. I was a bit confused by all the different types though - any suggestions on what to look out for? I've been suffering with chapped lips all through this year and after a bit of research it seems that it could be either dehydration or vitamin B deficiency. It's a real pain in the arse as even talking is difficult when my lips are so sore, not to mention feeling really unattractive because they are so obviously swollen. Do B vitamins have something to do with the nervous system as well? If so, could that have an impact on anxiety?

Sorry, lots of questions here. No worries if you don't know the answers

kokeshi · 03/12/2007 20:40

No worries BM, take your time.

I said in my message below that VitB (and also thiamine) was necessary for good nerve function, but I guess that may have been a wee bit vague.

Here's a wee blurb about how important the B vitamins (including thiamine) are:

The B-vitamins help to maintain the health of the nerves, skin, eyes, hair, liver, and mouth, as well as healthy muscle tone in the gastroinstestinal tract and proper brain function. B-Complex vitamins are coenzymes involved in energy production, and may be useful in alleviating depression or anxiety. Adequate intake of the B-vitamins is very important for elderly people because these nutrients are not as well absorbed as we age.

The B-complex has a wide range of properties, including:-

  • B1 (thiamine) - needed for release of energy from carbohydrates; aids in functioning of nervous system; helps maintain stomach acidity and normal appetite. Thiamine enhances circulation and assists in blood formation, carbohydrate metabolism, and the production of hydrochloric acid which is important for proper digestion. Thiamine also optimizes cognitive activity and brain function.
  • B2 (riboflavin) - needed for converting proteins, fats and carbohydrates into energy; necessary for healthy skin and eyes. Riboflavin is necessary for red blood cell formation, antibody production, and growth. It is important in the prevention and treatment of cataracts. Riboflavin also facilitates the use of oxygen by the tissues of the skin, nails and hair.
  • B3 (niacin, niacinamide) - needed for release of energy from food; maintains health of skin, mouth and digestive tract; necessary for normal mental function; can increase circulation and reduce high blood pressure. Vitamin B3 aids in the functioning of the nervous system; in the metabolism of carbohydrates, fats and proteins, and also lowers cholesterol. It is helpful against schizophrenia and other mental illnesses, and is also a memory enhancer.
  • B5 (pantothenic acid) - needed for release of energy from food; helps in the functioning of the adrenal gland and in the formation of antibodies. Known as the "anti-stress'' vitamin, pantothenic acid plays a role in the production of the adrenal hormones and aids in vitamin utilization. It also helps to convert fats, carbohydrates, and proteins, into energy. It is required by all cells of the body and is concentrated in the organs.
  • B6 (pyridoxine) - needed for metabolism of protein, hence requirements related to protein intake; helps to maintain fluid balance, a requirement for healthy red blood cells. Pyridoxine is involved in more bodily functions than almost any other single nutrient. It is beneficial against water retention, and is necessary for the production of hydrochioric acid and the absorption of fats and protein. It is required by the nervous system, and is needed for normal brain function and for the synthesis of the nucleic acids RNA and DNA, which contain the genetic instructions for the reproduction of all cells and for normal cellular growth. It activates many enzymes and is important for immune system function and in antibody production.
  • B12 - needed for red blood cell production and maintenance of protective sheath around nerves. Vitamin B12 is needed to prevent anemia; it aids folic acid in regulating the formation of red blood cells, and helps in the utilization of iron. This vitamin is also required for proper digestion, aids in cell formation, helps prevent nerve damage, and promotes normal growth and development by maintaining the fatty sheaths that cover and protect nerve endings. B12 is linked to the production of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that assists memory and learning.
  • Folic acid - Essential for growth and reproduction of cells, particularly red blood cells. Considered a 'brain food', folic acid, is needed for energy production and the formation of red blood cells. Folic acid is very important during pregnancy. It helps to regulate embryonic and fetal nerve cell formation, which is vital for normal development. It also strengthens immunity, and may also help depression and anxiety.
  • Biotin - involved in carbohydrate, protein and fat metabolism. Required for healthy skin and hair. Biotin aids in cell growth and in fatty acid production. Sufficient quantities are needed for healthy hair and skin, and may prevent hair loss.

Signs & Symptoms
Deficiency can cause fatigue, anxiety and poor hair and nail condition.

Treatment & Prevention
A well-balanced diet should provide us with all the B-vitamins that we require, but because they are water-soluble and therefore not retained by the body, we need a daily dietary source.

A wee bit more specifically:

Vitamin B-Complex can help with the following:

Addictions Alcohol-related Problems
Regular use of a quality high potency multiple vitamin may be important in alcoholism. Alcoholics are classically deficient in most of the B vitamins. These deficiencies result from a variety of mechanisms: low dietary intake, deactivation of the active form, impaired conversion to the active form by ethanol or acetaldehyde, impaired absorption, and decreased storage capacity. A thiamine deficiency is both the most common and the most serious of the B-vitamin deficiencies, since a deficiency causes beriberi and the Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. A functional pyridoxine deficiency is also common in alcoholics, due not so much to inadequate intake as impaired conversion to its active form, pyridoxal-5-phosphate, and enhanced degradation.

Your GP can prescribe the Strong Vitamin B compound and thiamine, which is designed for people who've had a history of drinking. I do think it would really help. The alternative is a Vitamin B strong injection - called PArbinex - that should sort you out.

OP posts:
PurpleOne · 03/12/2007 22:51

Vitamin B6 can also be found in Marmite.

Love it or hate it?

passes round plate of buttered toast

kokeshi · 03/12/2007 23:39

Oh I love it PurpleONe, but not too often. Makes my gums raw! How did you get on this evening?

OP posts:
cindycat · 03/12/2007 23:50

Love it - thanks, I'll have a slice, if I may!

After posting to say hello a few days ago my mum has been staying with me which has made coming here very tricky. Reading this thread always helps so couldn't wait any longer until she goes, but did have to wait until everyone else is well & truly asleep. Mum being here has also stopped me drinking as much, but not stopped me completely - thought it would so and a bit cross with myself.

BM & Daisy - thanks for your welcomes. The drinking for me has come to a crisis point as I was pregnant earlier this year but had to have a termination for medical reasons, which broke my heart.
Daisy - noticed through catching up on the recent posts that you have coeliacs. My ds does too so am noisy about other coeliacs! How do you find the gluten free diet? DS is only 5 and amazingly good about it, but don't think I would be!! Do you find it hard to stick to?

Chardonnaylover · 04/12/2007 09:58

Thanks everyone for your support - I cant begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. I managed a second night last night and feel so proud of myself today. I slept for about 9 hours straight and feel so much more refreshed today.

Sorry I forgot to welcome you too Cindycat - I am a complete newbie as well but already feel like I have people I can talk to on here.

And I love Marmite

kokeshi · 04/12/2007 10:03

That's really fantastic CL. Can I tell you that if you have had any withdrawal symptoms at all, you'll be over the worst of them. Really well done. Keep posting and letting us know how you go.

Condycat, I'm sorry if I didn't welcome you, I must have missed your post. It's great to have you on the thread and your input is really valuable too.

OP posts:
teasletinsel · 04/12/2007 10:05

HI everyone. HI Kokeshi.
How are you all today?

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