Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

What do you yourself think?

You have posted on here, so you must think you have a problem, why not take it from there, see what you can work out for yourself.

LOL at kokeshi's 'de nile'. Very funny!

Am off to bed now. Night all.

Hello All
I've stuck to my plan to just have a glass tonight and I didn't join DH with his wine last night so am feeling very positive. I feel almost ready to bow out of this thread, but had so many 'false recoveries' in my eating disorder days that I think I'll give myself a bit longer, if that's OK!

RMMP, don't scare yourself with labels, they're really not constructive and that word 'alcoholic' has far too many connotations for a lot of people who are beginning to question their drinking.

If you think you have a drink problem, you just might. You really can only decide yourself. People use whichever terminology is least jarring to them personally (problem drinker/alcoholdependent/alcoholic), but it's not a failure to admit you need a wee bit of support. For me, simply put, an alcoholic is someone whose life is better of they don't drink.

The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. Hell, I didn't even have that at the beginning for myself. I didn't want to stop really, but I knew I had to do something. I just kept going back, like I was told.

I would suggest to go to a few meetings and see if it's for you. Some people recommend 90 meetings in 90 days, but that's quite a bind for folks, especially women with families. But, the 3 month trial period is a good idea I think.

There are many people on this thread at various stages, but I think those of us who've decided to stop drinking and keep going to AA have a positive message - that there is life after drink -and it's available to everyone who is struggling.

Janni, stick around; this thread isn't just for the times when you are struggling with alcohol, but for the support and comradeship when you have kicked it; look at ornamentalhaggis.

RMMP, i can really relate to what you are saying about lack of any emotional support. My drinking got out of hand when DS was a baby and I moved back in with my parents as my partner and I spilt up when I was pregnant. They used to have a tipple very night and I would just join them. I was on ML and didn't need to get up for work. then we moved to a new flat and i just kept on drinking. DP and I since reconciled and are now married with another baby, but I've had a few emotional set backs over the last few years, add to that he is now working away and I feel like I'm in an emotional vaccuum most of the time .

When I found out I was pg I was over the moon as this time I wouldn't be doing it alone, but now he is away and I am, to all intents and purposes, a lone parent again (albeit a part-time one). After a hard day with the kids, I've got to the stage where I feel like I deserve that drink; it's like a reward for getting through it intact.

DH and I have been talking and he is fully supportive of me going to a meeting. I'm going to see if there are any weekend meetings around here; but I can travel a bit if I need to. He's also around most Monday evenings too, so I'm sure I can find something. He is suc a star; after all I've put him through over the last year or so with my depression, I really wonder what I've done to deserve him.

I feel really tearful thinking about it, but I'm obviously not able to do this on my own.

OH your post about deluding ourselves has hit a nerve, and I know that's exactly what I'm doing. OK, so I don't drink myself into oblivion seven nights a week, but I do have problems with it, and I know I need to sort it out.

We talked about me seeing my GP, but I'm a bit scared to do that, as it then becomes official. I'm worried about the implications that would have on the rest of my life; ie if my medical records were needed for a job application or whatever; or worse, if social services got involved. I make sure my kids are well looked after, but if either of them were to take ill in the night, I'd be half pissed taking them to the doctors.

Sorry, rambling and being very self centred.

I didn't open the other bottle though, so am now off to bed with some herbal tea. the bottle I have had hasn't even made me feel tipsy, which I know is a BAD thing.

Teasle, not sneaky at all; that's what profiles are there for

night all xx

before I go; what does it mean if a meeting is "open" or "closed"?

Open means that you can bring a non-alcoholic family member/friend with you. Closed are for alcoholics only. By alcoholic I mean anyone who has a willingness to stop drinking. (Nice profile btw )

DS is driving me nuts and I'm going to be up a while longer.

thanks BM. DH will be around on Monday, so I might give it a go. Do I just turn up?

Or is it a 'desire' to stop drinking. I can't remember which it is now. Same thing though, I suppose.

Yep, just turn up. Take a bit of small change with you for the collection at the end (I forgot at my first meeting and was really embarrassed, although I shouldn't have been really). Most are 90 minutes long. Look out for the Blue AA sign on the door if you're unsure which door to go in. I hope you do go.

Open meeting means that non-members of AA are allowed to attend, but it's usually best to check with the group. HAve you looked at the AA meeting finder for meetings close by?

Closed means that it's for members only, and like I said below, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Easy

I understand the thing about it becoming 'official' I really do, but IME there is only one way that a drink problem progresses, and that's down. It's much better to tackle it when you still have everything (family, relationship, house etc), than to wait until it really gets a grip. A lot of people just don't make it. The reality for problem drinkers is that there are two outcomes eventually: insanity or death. I've seen it happen over and over again. I'm sure you're more than aware yourself.

If you go to AA then you won't have to tell your GP if you really don't want to, but it will help f you can get access to B vitamins and thiamine, and possible a medical detox - depending on how much you drink. WHy would anyone be looking at your medical notes? Aren't they supposed to be confidential?

I'm waaaaaay too slow tonight!

I have wondered about that before myself OH. Are there any reasons why you would need to give permission for an employer or insurance company or something to look at your medical records? It doesn't matter to me at the moment and my doctor knows my drinking history now anyway. Have you ever needed to disclose that you're an alcoholic to anyone/any organisation?

Never...with the exception of AA and erm, rehab

I think you're supposed to tell the DVLA, but I don't know anyone who has, unless obviously they're banned from drink driving.

Oh I didn't know that about the DVLA. I can't imagine anyone doing that, no. I wonder if they insist on a re-test or anything, or take your licence away...

People would be more likely to figure out that I had a drink problem before I had treatment or went to AA. It's those people who have constant sickies, or can't do their jobs that end up being 'found out'. I'm much more reliable, sorted, trustworthy and efficient now that I don't drink and have admitted I'm an alcoholic. Hahaha...who woulda though it!?

Hmm, it's like a riddle isn't it? I'm off to bed now. DS hasn't made any noises for 20 minutes so he MUST be asleep. Night OH and anyone else still about.

Och, it's some shite that they've made up. No way would I tell them, just creating problems for yourself I think. UNless, of course, you were a chronic re-lapser and had a habit of drink driving. That's not really acceptable is it? Thank F*ck I didn't have a car when I was drinking at my worst though. I did have a motorbike when I lived in Taiwan and almost lost my leg .

Night BM. I'm just avoiding looking at my Step 4 stuff that I'm meant to be preparing for tomorrow. I was quite glad when you came back . Night night xxx

I am so glad I don;t have a car either. Hven't driven for 5 years!

G'night all and sleep well. Good luck for you all tomorrow.

Must be honest. I had the day from hell, but I never bought booze! The most crappiest day where I thought things would slip and dreading tonight...it hasn't happened.

Any many many hugs to teasle (((hugs hon))) for keeping me occupied on Facebook.

[star emo]

G'night x x

So, my meeting is an open one..I wanna bring my daughter, I think she's old enough.

Have been twice now, lovely meeting, touches on NA too. DD1 saw me skinning up when she was 9...and she can kick my arse too, Not her duty I know, but maybe she can get a little glimpse into my world..as sick as that sounds?

What do you think?

Please I dont wanna be Friday night thread killer.
I've cried enough, my LA dp lost his job.

How are you feeling today purpleone? and everyone else?

I've still got this bloody headache and would really like to be in bed. DS is happily playing and I should be getting on I suppose.

I've just noticed the post count. Time for a new thread soon...