Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

It's really scary when you see someone who has gone yellow. The person I knew who went yellow died not long afterwards of multiple organ failure. He just collapsed in on himself and really there was nothing to be done.

I have been reading up a bit about ulcerative colitis and it says that too much booze can make things worse and cause relapse. I just want to get out of the habit of drinking. It is really nice to be able to take it or leave it. I expect there will always be times when I will drink too much, and it's a dangerous path to tread.

LOL @ being locked in the garage

All those little tricks that you mentioned help to break the habit of buying it, which I found quite dificult. I've even changed which Tesco I do my main grocery shop in now so that I don't habitually stroll down the BWS ailse. I try not to go in the off-licence at all either, even if there's huge queues in the newsagent next door.

In the early days I did things like have a bath and get into my pyjamas early in the day, avoided having much cash in the flat and tied up my evenings with cooking from scratch - anything that meant I couldn't easily go out.

If I were you I would give the pub a miss tonight if you can. I know it's not an ideal long-term solution but I think it's an unnecessary temptation this early on.

Hellobello, that must have been awful to lose someone like that. I think I remember you posting about a friend who died of an alcohol related illness a while back - I take it this is the same person .

Oh sorry Daisy...meant to say well done as well . Hope you're proud of yourself. You should be!

No BM, sadly not the same person. I think Yellow Man became an alcoholic when he was a bit older. Things in his life sort of tipped him into a state that was already waiting for him.

The friend I have mentioned before started drinking heavily when she was 8. By the time she was 16 she was out of control. She nearly got better a few times. I'm not entirely sure how she died and whether it was purely alcohol related, or any of the other diseases she harboured.

I was thinking of her today. She would have been amused by the story in today's papers about alcoholics drinking hospital hand gel. That stuff would have set her off on binge if she used it normally.

I hope we're all doing OK this evening.

I caved at 9:30 and went to the offy , but I have only had a couple of glasses. Am making this bottle stretch out for the weekend and then none in the week....that's the plan anyway.

Take Care and I'll check in over the weekend

Oh, I'm in Christmas guise....do you like what I've done

I've just posted something on what turns out to be the old thread. Please can I add to this one as well..... this is what I posted on the other (first time on this topic and it took so emotional effort to write anything first time round that I'm not sure i can manage anything else - still it was pleasing to be the 1000st post on the old thread!)

Can I join in please ... have been lurking for some time but have only just found the courage to post. I've had a really crap year which has taken my always dodgy alcohol consumption to something that has begun to worry me .

I was struck by a combination of things havalina & daisyn. said - i'm probably one of those mums on the school run who looks like they know loads of people. My mum is staying with me this week & she happened to say how pleased she was for me that i know loads of the other mums at school. But while i might be able to chat with a few of them i feel that i'm a fake and am just waiting for them to find me out & never speak to me again.

I could never confess to them that i'm worried because i don't want to talk to anyone "professionally" (gp etc) about my drinking as i don't think at the moment that i could bear to give it up, but here i am telling a whole load of people who i've never met before - i've not even posted here before! So chatting to people on the school run for me is just a cover-up, i'm pretending to be a good mum, whereas actually on the way home from school i'm planning what excuse to make to my children to go to the shop & buy a bottle of wine. So don't feel intimidated by other mums at school - they're probably just as messed up as the rest of us!

I'm doing fine this wet and windy evening.

I made a point of only buying 2 beers. Dc's have kept my hands busy by playing Playstation with them, cross stitching and doing a little journalling tonight. I'm very glad I only bought 2, and after spending 5 whole days sober, I think I deserve it!

IMVHO have had a really excllent week here, after a slip on Sunday. I've woken up and got out of bed. Took dd2 to school on Thurs, which she loved, as I haven't done it for 12 months? Actually went out for coffee Thursday morning too....most of the time would be spent in bed sleeping and hanging over and not showing my face to the world until 2pm.
My house is actually cleaned up..and not the riot it usually is. Started tackling little odd jobs around here, and even started looking at OU courses. (something I've wanted to do for ages now, but been too pissed to even focus on life itself, let alone studying).

The tiredness in the evening though, is overwhelming. By 6pm I want to close my eyes. I really want to hope that this could be a little turning point? Opening my eyes to what proper RL could be like?

It's scary, tiring, but very refreshing.

Hope everyone sleeps well x x

Morning everyone

Hi Cindy, of course you can join in What problems are drink causing in your life to make you want to address it now? I didn't speak to my GP about my drinking, but I did go to a local substance abuse clinic. They didn't tell me that I had to stop drinking, just gave me advice on how to cut down and offered counselling sessions to help me work out why I was drinking so much.

How did it go last night Purple and Daisy? I've tried both limiting how many glasses I was allowed and buying the smallest bottle. Neither worked for me - I couldn't physically stop myself from going back to the bottle for more, and I'd just go back to the off-licence for another bottle if I only had a small one. Hope it's worked out for you both though.

Love the name btw Daisy. Can anyone think of one for me?

I've got a busy day ahead of me. I'm making up for the lack of Christmas decs last year by putting them all up today (way too early IMO). DS is very excited and can't wait for his dad to get home and bring it down from the loft. Spose I better mop the floors then...

At last! A booze free night last night! I too was exhausted! I poured a tiny glass of wine, tasted it, then put it into the cooking.

I slept quite badly though. I usually sleep badly after a glass or few of wine, but not so much when I am stone cold sober.

Well done, PurpleOne! It's so so refreshing to find life beyond a bottle. Bottles are so SMALL!

Hi all.
BM what about Baublemonkey, MistleMonkey, XmasMonkey, SnowyMonkey.
Its the best I can do- I'm not very inventive, as you can see by my own Christmas name

Cheers teasle

Hope you get a proper sleep tonight HB. I always feel really low if I don't sleep well. I'd be a right misery if I had insomnia.

Hello everyone - I went out for dinner with some friends last night and managed to polish off two large g & ts and a bottle of wine. Then got home and poured myself another one. How stupid is that, even when my mind is saying thats ridiculous I still do it.

Having friend over for takeaway tonight and I have promised myself I will have one or two drinks maximum. Wish me luck.

Good luck for tonight Chardonnay - hope you have a lovely evening

Does anyone else find Saturday nights really fucking depressing now? It's not just a Saturday night tonight though, it's a Saturday night in December and it feels like Christmas. I know I'm going to really struggle over the next month - can't wait for it all to be over now. I've worked so hard today and we still haven't got the bloody Christmas tree out of the loft. DS and his Dad are out collecting tools because I want to change the room around and that means changing the electric sockets over - I'm only pissing about with all this for something to occupy my mind really. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I felt so happy a few weeks ago and tonight I want to burst into tears. Can't blame it on PMT either. I know these feelings don't last and I know I'm being childish. I don't want a drink, I want to get drunk and I haven't had a craving like this for ages.

Had to post about it as if I say it to ex-p he'll panic and will watch me like a hawk for the next week and I could do without that. I know I should phone someone from AA but I don't feel like doing that either tonight. I'm not going to drink either, just wanted to acknowledge that I feel like this sometimes.

BM, it's soooo dark here, I think we had about an hour and a half of light. You have done and are still doing amazingly well. I recognise that feeling but you know in your heart that you'll beat yourself up so much for it if you give in to it.

These feeling are always temporary, when you're in the midst of them they seem so strong and overpowering that you can't imagine feeling anything else.

Please stay strong and keep posting about your feelings, it's the best way to get them out your head.

Much love to you and everyone else on the thread. How are you all doing tonight? Does everyone find Saturday difficult then?

Coma and join us here if you're feeling a bit down!

BM, I hope you are OK. It's OK to have these cravings, and you have done really well so far. I hope you have the strength to get through this.

Your ex sounds like a real sweetie; it's great that he is still there for you. Not many ex's would turn electrician to suit a woman's need to rearrange the room

We went to a huge Christmas fair today and I took DS ice skating (well it was an artificial rink, but great fun regardless....I haven't been on skates in 15 years), then he and DH did some nordic skiing (again on artificial snow), we visited santa in his grotto and got lost in a maze shaoed like a giant snowflake. It was great fun, but DS had a meltdown, we all got cross and DH reversed into another car...oops!

Im finishing off the wine from last night, and feel great that I'm being in control. It is easy to do that when DH is here; partly because I know he is watching me, but partly cos he is a distraction from it. It's during the week that is difficult.

purple one; sounds like thiongs are going well for you, and well done on stopping at two beers.

cindycat, hi there and welcome to the thread! Thanks for your words about the school gate; it's good to know that I'm not the only one feeling like a spare part. Your words about telling a professional also struck a chord with me, but good for you for having the courage to post on here. I saw your thread about your lost baby, I'm so sorry you had to go through that; it must have been very difficult for you

well done hellobello on the booze free night. Let it be the first of many

hi kokeshi and also to anyone lurking out there

PS...loving the Christmas names

Bm - thinking of you. Its great when things are going well isn't it? Its when we feel shit that we have to really be careful.

You have been stuck inside for the past couple of weeks, no wonder you're feeling low.

Daisy I think you must live near me, you've just described the place you took your kids to which isnt far from where I live.

I just read the article that Elasticwoman talked about over on teh other thread about the woman who had half a bottle of wine and a G&T every night for 20 years and had serious liver damage. Now I have scared myself silly that that is what I am doing to myself.

And I didnt manage one drink last night but I did stop at three and they were normal sized glasses. It feels like a small step in the right direction.

Hi CL- I've just been reading the other thread you've been posting on. Just want to say I'm really sorry you are having such a difficult time emotionally.

I don't think anyone lives within 100 miles of me!
I think it would be nice to have a meet-up type thing sometimes with the people I regularly 'chat' to!

Hey BM how are you this morining- have you got any plans for today?

Thanks for your nice messages last night. Sometimes I worry about posting on here when I have the urge to drink in case I put newcomers off of getting started.

I feel much better today. I've only just woke up - better get the dinner in.

Oh, no plans for today teasle. We were going to take DS to Toys R Us to try and covertly see what he really wants for Christmas. Over the past week we've watched so much tv and he's been over-exposed to all those manipulative toy adverts. This will be the first year that I've really got to cut back on what I spend, but also the first year that DS is enthusiastic about everything he see's.

Just realised that EX-P has tax and MOT next week as well...

CL the Christmas place is not too far from N Leeds where I live.

I often have moments of worry about my liver function as well CL, but short of asking your GP for a liver function test.....there are home test kits you can gt, but I wouldn't know how reliable they were. I did hae lfts done three years ago when I was undergoing testing for what turned out to be coeliac disease and everything was normal, but I've done a lot of sustained drinking in that time...

I've been in bed all day.....bad back = no sleep, and I threw up this morning. Thankfully not due to excess last night as I only had half a bottle of wine.

BM, of course you should talk on here about feeling cravings. Writing it down helps enormously I think, and I don't think it would out anyone off joining up. In fact seeing the supportive comments you got back on the old thread was what made me join up in the first place

I hope you're feeling better today and that Toys'R'Us wasn't too awful!

Yes, please don't hide if you're craving BM. I stopped smoking over 4 years ago now, and these days I'm rubbish about cravings. I don't really crave cigarettes any more, but I do have a fag every now and again. Prob about 6 times a year, irregularly. This is only when I am with people who smoke and I don't feel the slightest bit inclined to start again. I guess it's the memories.

Oh those false memories! They're rubbish! How the mind decieves.

I need to spend less time on MN and a bit more time doing some work in RL! Oh lazy cow am I.

Has anyone else noticed this article about hospital hand-rub

HI all, I've had a nice day with my Dnephew. Nothing like being with a toddler to really show you how to enjoy the simple things in life.

BM, please keep posting on here when you're having a tough time. We all have shite days and I think that's what makes us human. We just know from experience that drinking will make it so much worse, but it doesn't stop the obsessive thinking.

I think you're admired even more for the fact that you do post so honestly - people can totally identify with what you're going through.

Hope everyone else is OK today.

Teasle, I can't be that far away from you, relatively speaking?