Do you ever feel like ending it all?

[ohdear]

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Corina, I'm sure your post did help essbee and thank you for writing it. But there are 300-odd posts on this thread alone. You can't get pissed off if it's not acknowledged. God knows, I would be in a permanent state of angst if I got miffed everytime someone 'ignores' one of my heartfelt messages of support. Don't stop posting please.

And hi essbee - hope you enjoy your weekend with ff... xx

I can fully understand where Corina is coming from, it isn't nice to have a message ignored, especially when it's so personal. I have only posted a few messages on Mumsnet, largely because I get very little time to spend on the computer as a mum of 4, but it does knock the wind out of your sails a bit when your message goes un noticed. It feels to me a bit like being at a group where you are not one of the gang and are thus excluded. Just one person's thoughts.

corina - sorry I didn't acknowledge your post. No excuse I know, but I guess I was just so caught up in supporting ohdear/essbee that it didn't really occur to me to respond to anyone else iyswim. It wasn't out of deliberate cliqueyness - just careless oversight. Thank you very much for telling your story - it is very useful to many to see how you can come back from rock bottom, and how medication can take a long time to kick in.

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essbee - come back please (not that I am biased or anything). who else can I nag if you flounce As far as I am concerned you have posted IIRC several messages thanking people for their support etc, which to my mind is perfectly adequate. You can't reasonably be expected to thank each poster individually - especially if you are feeling poorly anyway.

essbee, please, please, don't stop posting. This is important tpo you, and important to your MN freinds.
Corina and Cartrefle, I can see that you posted sensitive and powerful stories - please don't feel that Mumsneters would be careless of that. You were offereing a gift, - and if you feel the need to start a thread about your own struggles, I am sure that you will find that Mumsnetters are equally focussed in their support for you.

Please - all stay, all post - that's what MN is!

Thank you, Blu. Much appreciated. I'm sorry Essbee for sounding like a dreadful grouch. I'm new to this mumsnet thing but have followed your thread with great sympathy/empathy and have felt terrible for your despair and heartened that so many people care about you so much. It must be really comforting to know you have so much support out there at a time when you need it most. Please keep posting - I was just making a general point & Blu is quite right, it should have it's own post not hijack this one!! Sorry again.

essbee, I can't better the excellent advice you've had from other mnetters, but there are many people who will be wishing you to get through this. I was one of your anonymous donors for your jump and was full of admiration, not just that you and Thomcat were brave enough to do the jump (wild horses wouldn't get me to do it), but that you cared enough to be so proactive in helping other people. Please keep posting - people do want to help

Oops sorry,time for me to keep my big mouth shut I think.Just ignore me,I mean it this time though.After all I'm fine now but essbee isn't.Essbee I hope you feel better soon.

Corina - hope you will 'open your big mouth' to help people again in the future

Onwards and upwards, essbee - i'm sure you and FF will have a great weekend.

This thread is too long now anyway. High time we started a new thread for essbee - I'm going to do so now.

I've told Essbee to look at this thread again. She was here when she looked at it and saw that she had apparently offended people and this upset her. Don't you think she has enough other stuff to worry about right now? V. Disappointed

I doubt anyone deliberately ignores a post - sometimes I see posts and don't know what to say. I go away and think about it and sometimes I still don't know what to say so I say nothing. It's not cliqueyness. I don't see a name and think "I don't recognise that poster, I'm not going to reply"

I dont think essbee offended anyone

I have just found this and quickly scanned through it. The one thing that strikes me Essbee-you said that you weren't worth the trouble of other MN's going out of their way to help. Well you obviously are- there are so many of us rooting for you and I am sure to say that if anyone could help in any way, we would. That includes a , still fairly new to this, stranger.
We all have our ups and downs, unfortunately some seem to be chosen to have many more downs than others. Don't let all your problems overtake the real you. Try to grasp all the help that is offered, and if it isn't offered ASK, don't feel embarrassed or ashamed of what you are going through, you are obviously not alone in this. You did not ask to have these problems, you did not ask to feel this way and you obviuosly want to do something about it. You have made some MAJOR hurdles, but I am sure that many MN's will run the rest of the race with you. (if you pardon the crappy wording)
Lots of love and hugs.

I can't help but be a bit shocked that people can so easily forget how it was for them? When in the midst of depression you are just a little distracted and not operating in ways you normally would. Posts should be put on here to help and assist people by showing them you are not alone. Not for thanks. Sorry but it is a shame that Esbee has been made to feel bad when she must already be feeling so vunerable.

Hey, Essbee, you ignored me too! ...nah, of course I don't mean it. I'm really sorry that I had no idea you'd got so low. I really, really hope this is a turning point for you. God knows, you deserve it.
Can I just add, the things you think are 'failures' are the very things other people regard as your greatest acts of bravery and, indeed, your greatest successes. Like overcoming your background to become such a loving, devoted mother, and getting rid of your ah and making your home a safe place to be for all of you, regardless of the cost to your security.

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Hi essbee.

I have not posted onthis tread before as I do not think that I coyld offer you any help.

I just wanted to say that although I will be offline for a while I will call you when I get a chance after the move and will text you When I find my mobile phone.

Take care of your self and have fun with Fairyfly this weekend.

Lots of love and Hugs
Jan
xxxxxxx

a) you are a great mum - always have been and always will be and that fact that you are going through all this shit in a way for them as well as you shows just what a great strong person you are!

b) You do not scare off your friends (haven't me anyway)I promise I will have loads of time for you when I am no longer at work (4 weeks) - I have presents for you and the kids still sitting here too.

c) Life does get better - I told you ages ago that it will get worse - much much worse and you have no choice but to deal with it until it starts looking up which it will eventually - you will start feeling a littl ebetter about things everyday and realise that what you have done has made you a stronger person and ensured that your kids especially DS can be happy and safe (but remember he has to get over this too and thats why you will be having trouble with him!)

d) You father - what can I say - well I figure that mine did me the hugest favour in the world by showing me how I do not bring up a child - I tell my baby that I love her, I spend time with her, I tell her that I am proud of her, I instill self belief and ood values into her and make her into a well rounded happy person - so thanks to all you shitty fathers who have taught us mothers how not to bring up our children - there is a whole generation of kids growing up out there who owe you one!!

Things will be better at one time - and there are loads of people who would miss you if you weren't around - please keep your chin up - see if you can get some counselling on the NHS with a psychotherapist and don't let shitty AH win!!