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Original poster

Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread

999 replies

BrassicMonkey · 24/06/2007 21:00

The last thread will close soon, but I want this one to be about everybody, not just me. So Hidesit, Earlgrey, SoSo and anyone else that needs support please post and keep me company.

I've lapsed again tonight, which is a shame as I hoped I'd be able to start this off on a postive note.

Link to the last thread.

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dandycandyjellybean · 24/06/2007 21:13

Well i've fallen off the wagon before i even got on Brassic, so don't feel bad!!! I started a thread to you, don't know if you noticed it, so inspired was I by your efforts, and promised to quit drinking tomorrow (as in Monday). But after cutting through all my stocks of wine and stuff, I caved (after a big bust up with dh - no excuse I know ) and bought a bottle of gin tonight. I know that I won't finish it all tonight, although I'm getting on for 1/2 way down already (god I'm crap!!!) so I know that there is no way that I can possibly not drink tomorrow if there is gin in the house, and I'm fairly sure that I won't have the courage to tip it down the sink. Unless you want to do an 'I'll do it if you will' kind of a thing, and support each other starting tomorrow? Don't feel obliged though, I won't be remotely offended if you don't feel that you can/want to. Hope you don't get too blasted, and you really have done amazingly well, you are my hero, even though i know you probably don't feel very heroic tonight. {{{hugs}}}

FrannyandZooey · 24/06/2007 21:20

Brassic we crossed posts on the last thread and I didn't want to post again in case I filled up the thread

I'm not sure what the best thing to say to lapsing drinkers is

Just want to repeat my support for anyone trying to stop

dandycandyjellybean · 24/06/2007 21:23

Thanks F&Z for posting on my last thread, and suggesting that I start another, which I was just about to do when I found this one!

Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 24/06/2007 21:45

Hi Franny and Cubby

Cubby I didn't see your thread. I'll have a look for it in a minute, but I'm glad you found this one. I am definitely up for an 'I'll abstain if you do' challenge. I am abstaining from tomorrow anyway so please join me.

Hi Franny, nice to chat to you again. I was just going to reply to you and the thread closed (damn). I'm glad you saw this. I've 'reported' my last post on the other thread and asked for them to re-open it so I can post a link to here. I don't know if they can do it though.

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FrannyandZooey · 24/06/2007 21:49

Brassic, have you tried to post on the other thread, as you can usually go up to 1004 posts or so

I am very sorry if MY last post filled up the thread - as I said I cross posted and didn't realise it was going over 1000

FrannyandZooey · 24/06/2007 21:51

Ah shite, you are right, my post tipped it over the edge and you can't post any more

sorry Brassic, I'll email MNHQ as well

dandycandyjellybean · 24/06/2007 22:03

Thanks bm, I'm definitely up for going for some kind of 'let's help each other' thing. If you're abstaining tomorrow, so will I. I will post tomorrow as soon as I start really stressing about the idea of not drinking, and I will also let you know if i have the guts to chuck whatever gin I don't manage tonight down the sink... Between us I know we can beat this!!!!

dandycandyjellybean · 24/06/2007 22:09

Piss'ters, piss'ters, never were there more devoted piss'ters.....oooops sorry, probably the gin talking. will no doubt regret this in the morning!

Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 24/06/2007 22:10

Oh don't worry Franny. It doesn't matter - I might CAT some of the regulars such as Kokeshi and IF and let them know where we are now. I didn't expect it to close so soon either. They usually go to just over 1000.

Cubby, I've just read the other thread and I'm gutted that I didn't see it before. Please DON'T just stop tomorrow. Without any BS I was scared shitless when I found out just what cold turkey could have done to me if I'd have attempted it, besides cutting down gradually gave me a much needed break from the broken promises of not going to the off-licence.

When I went to the substance abuse clinic I was warned about social service involvement but reassured that it would only be necessary if I broke contact with them or failed to stick to a reduction plan. As it happened it was an empty threat as they haven't kept in touch with me anyway, but it was enough to make me want to stop (I feel like a total fool saying that after this week's f*ck up).

Don't do it without advice. I was told that I could cut down by half and then reduce by 4 units per week (that may have only been specific to what I was drinking at the time though).

Please keep posting on here. I'd be more than happy (ecstatic actually) to have an 'on the wagon' buddy when the time is right.

Take care of yourself mate xx

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Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 24/06/2007 22:11

PMSL @ pissters. I actually have a real life pisster (but that's another thread...)

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dandycandyjellybean · 24/06/2007 22:17

Have just fired the last 1/3 bottle of gin down the sink, so am on the wagon tomorrow, come what may. Know what you're saying about just stopping, but have done it before, several times including pregnancy, from more units than this with no side effects whatsoever, so am keen to start tomorrow, if you will.

Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 24/06/2007 22:24

Good for you cubby. I just didn't want to encourage you if you wern't aware of the risks. I did cold turkey a few times at around 200 units per week - I didn't know it was dangerous at the time and the side effects were horrible, but luckily I didn't have any fits or anything worse. The last time I stopped drinking though, I really needed the pychological edge that I got from not needing to rely on will-power alone.

I'll CAT you.

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gibal · 24/06/2007 22:59

so.. any of you married to heavy drinkrs?

FrannyandZooey · 25/06/2007 09:02

Brassic, they;ve deleted my last post on the other thread...I don't know if you can add a post now? If not, I do apologise

Cubby I feel like you have made up your mind, but just because you have gone cold turkey before with no ill effects, doesn't mean that you will have no ill effects this time. You are really taking a huge risk as sudden withdrawal can cause fits, brain damage or even be fatal. Would you consider getting professional help? If you have withdrawn several times before and keep relapsing heavily, it would suggest to me that whatever techniques you are using to manage your drinking are not working effectively. Outside help can give you new strategies and also the emotional and mental support that you need.

Good luck to you and everyone else trying to stop or cut down

Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 25/06/2007 09:44

No need to apologise Franny. I think there's a short time after the thread hits 1000 posts where you can still add to the thread, and then it closes. It was me that made it close, not you. I can CAT all the regulars if I don't see them around today anyway.

Cubby, how are you doing today? I know that feeling of being desperate to put a stop to the nightly binging ritual, but I do agree with Franny - if you've done it several times before then maybe you'd benefit from getting some professional advice first. If you won't do that (and I don't blame you) then good luck to you.

I drank the quarter bottle of vodka last night (8 units) and really craved for more. I had to bide my time and keep busy until the off-licence closed or I would have got DS dressed and gone out for more. I didn't though. I slept badly and was awake at 5am feeling really dehydrated. I'm determined to put last week behind me and start afresh today.

Hi gibal, I'm not married to a heavy drinker but I bet there's a lot of MNrs that are. It's all relevant so feel free to join in if it helps at all.

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Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 25/06/2007 11:33

JJMumsnet has just replaced your last post with a link to this thread Franny, so all sorted now

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FrannyandZooey · 25/06/2007 11:42

Hoorah about the link

Brassic good luck with your fresh start, and well done for managing your lapse so it wasn't utterly drastic. It is the pits to wake up feeling crap from drinking, isn't it?

Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 25/06/2007 12:14

Totally dire Franny. This morning wasn't so bad as I wasn't drunk enough to contact anybody and make an arse of myself last night. Friday morning was a different story though. It was like reliving a terrifying nightmare, realising that I'm lying awake in bed and I'm automatically willing myself not to remember last night before I've even got a reason to know I should feel ashamed.

I'm feeling postive today though and in some ways glad that I did it. If I can just move on and put it down to experience then there's no harm done in the long run.

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FrannyandZooey · 25/06/2007 12:26

No, maybe not, but fgs stop thinking you can 'experiment' with it etc

ruddy lethal

don't mess with it, remember how bloody grim things were. Want to go back there?

Original poster
BrassicMonkey · 25/06/2007 12:55

No, I don't want to go back there. I know you're right and sitting here now with no cravings, I could swear on my life that I'll never have another drink again.

No more experimenting for me. I'm going back to the 'I won't have a drink today' mantra.

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noddyholder · 25/06/2007 13:02

You need the support of somewhere like AA BM You can give up the substance but if you don't tackle the feelings it is pointless(sorry to be harsh)To even consider dressing your ds to go out to buy more should tell you all you need to know Good luck and seek help xx

imaginaryfriend · 25/06/2007 13:57

Yep, I'm with Franny, cut the experimentation! Although I do think that sometimes a slip-up is a good way of reinforcing the original desire to quit altogether. It becomes very quickly a make or break decision. If you keep buying half bottles, sooner or later you'll be back where you were at the start of this thread. Which isn't going to let us guys (your faithful supporters) down (which you say you're worried about), it just means that you'll have to do the whole process again which would be tragic as you did so well.

My dad always used to say he couldn't have a drink, not one single drink, not ever.

noddyholder · 25/06/2007 14:01

Experimentation is an alcoholics excuse to drink.There is no scientific or experimental reasoning behind it just the pull of a drug so powerful that if you are an addict you can't have any ever.Sorry but my dp was always looking for some kind of reason to drink when he tried stopping before he really stopped!iyswim.Anything would have done

FrannyandZooey · 25/06/2007 16:17

Good Don't piss about, it's not worth it

hellobello · 25/06/2007 19:45

Wow this thread moves fast! I've had a really boozy weekend and at last a drink-free night. I shudder to count the units I can knock back at my parents' house. The place is awash with alcohol. We still have quite a lot of wine left from a party and seem to be cracking through it. Please don't beat yourself up about having a lapse. When my eating was out of control I spent most of my time wishing the world would eat me up - anything to stop feeling so so bad. When I was getting better, I used to have little 'experiments' which inevitably went totally out of control and made me feel as though I'd hit the bottom again. The good news is that we get better at giving things up. I think something changes in our brains so it gets easier, so the next time will be for longer, and the lapses will become further apart, till the behaviour is a memory. I've lost a lot of friends because of my self-destruction. I still haven't hit the bottom with alcohol, but I would love to drink less. I drink too much. Anyway, it's so so important to keep on forgiving ourselves! (easier said than done...)