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desperate fag quitter! Anyone similar, fancy mutual support group?!

532 replies

fionagib · 08/08/2004 21:51

To my shame it's about my 167th attempt to quit fags... anyone out there trying the same who would like to start a support thingie here where we can rant and vent our frustrations and praise each other? I'm starting tomorrow...

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fionagib · 14/08/2004 12:16

Have just caught up with your thread mm and cc - so glad you've kept going (and survived parental visit, mm!). Missed you ladies! Had a lovely time at mum's - on beach, paddling, gorgeous weather, barely thought about fags as was away from normal home stuff and smoking dh of course...

Then I came back last night, had a ton of wine with dh (as is customary on fri nights) and (drum roll)... HAD A FAG.

I can't lie to you cc and mm. Am telling myself that it was a drunken fag (and therefore doesn't count) and that I've been managing pretty well during the past week: running every second day, taking vits and eve primrose oil for pmt, eating healthy stuff, not shouting at kids...

Am still very much committed to giving up and am so so sorry for being crap and having this minor blip! Please don't hate me! I am the weakest link... xx

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minkmama · 14/08/2004 12:33

Don't worry we won't say 'goodbye' just yet

Funny you should mention that because I was just putting DS1 to bed and thought about what I would do if i sneaked just 1, and I came to the conclusion that I would have to tell you guys.

Well don't feel bad, think about all the ones you DIDN'T have and put it down to missing DH so much

charliecat · 14/08/2004 17:05

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just caught up. Did you really just have 1? I would have had 10.
Dont worry about it, if you are still commited and you didnt eat the packet, just move on. You must be strong to have only had one!
How are you feeling now?
We went to see Garfield this morning, that was after I stormed out the house like a 2 year old after dd1(6.5) really annoyed me. I said ive had enough and marched out, walked down the road and then thought, hmmm where am I going to go then, I would have went to my mums but I knew there would be ashtrays there and I would have had a fag so I tucked my tail between my legs and returned home. LOL, the 5 mins without the kids was nice though.
MM I used to have a best friend next door but she moved to Ashford, 2 trains and a bus away, and now we speak on the phone and see each other in the school hols. Apart from that I dont have any friends here either, im a bit of an antisocial hermit, its that or the fact to have friends you have to tidy up before they arrive and that is just way too much hassle for me!
Fiona hope you are ok and dont beat yourself up about it xxxxx
My new next door neighbour, well 2 years ndn but not as friendly with her has just borrowed one of my Allen Carr books, shes a teacher and she had one fag on the last day of the hols, shedd been stopped for 2 years....she went on Holiday to her parents hoping to leave the fags behind but shes still puffing away and regretting it big time.
We have sat chatting about it for a good hour today, very theraputic, she said when she got to her destination off the train she elbowed people out of the way to get to the fag counter!!!!
Ramble Ramble as usual..xx

fionagib · 14/08/2004 17:50

drat, I just posted a thing but erased it somehow - just to say thanks so much for now kicking me out of the gang! Yes, dh assures me it was just one fag (it's all blurry now). The thought of having one now is vile - am gonna just put my blip out of my head...

do know what you mean about loneliness folks - I remember shoving the twin's big buggy along horrible pathways & through stinky underpasses when we lived in lingston for a year. Was always on mobile to old friends back in Lonodn - phone was the size of a horse!

It's so much nicer isn't it, going to things like the park or zoo with a grown up friend as well as the kids. Glad I'm not the only one who storms off in a race, cc! An adult tantrum - like it!!

Aren't we all doing well (part from my mad moment). Nearly a week! I bet in about another week the cravings will really start to ebb away... won't they??

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charliecat · 14/08/2004 18:04

They should they should, Well I bloody well hope they do!
A sadistic part of me wanted to say,was it worth it, was it good? But by the sounds of it you cant even remember!
I said to dp I was going to go for a fag with him, jokingly, when a bit tipsy last night, and the evil weed monster tryed to get me to go upstairs on the thought that since id said it I may as well...grrrr, I didnt.
We are all only 1 fag away from being back on them really....one day at a time.
When shall we open a new thread, and what shall we call it?!
And when indeed will we be cured, will there be a day when we say ok...sorted?

fionagib · 14/08/2004 18:11

I mean NOT kicking me out of the gang, slip of the finger there!!!! xx

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fionagib · 14/08/2004 21:10

It's quite tricky isn' it cc having a smoker in the house. I just try to feel all superior & not jealous... dh now thinking of quitting.

Does yr food taste better?dh made lamb curry and I just scoffed 2 bowlfuls. Do NOT wanna get all post fags fattie tho... I gave up earlier this year and put on nearly a stone. That interior designer guy whatsisname lawrence llwelyn bown said you don't eat more, it's juts that your body 'absorbs' every calorie when you give up! I', 5 foot 3 and nearly 10 tone - feel a bit hefty round the middle.

MM are you from thailand?YOu said your parents were going back there...

Oh dear - argy bargy in baff, my sons v unruly lately (needing school I fear!) They go back on tue in scotland and not a moment too soon! Actually have had lovely summer hols - it's just that they're all wearing a bit thin with each other... it's hard cramming work into hols too. Much late night working & baggy eyes...

Do we need a new thread do you think?

Hope you're both chilled & not too angsty - am gonna have a glass or two of wine but NOT get piddled, and NOT smoke! xx

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minkmama · 14/08/2004 21:11

LOL - I thought you were being v. bitter fg

Have managed to survive the parents smoking (this time) so am quite happy about it. My sister ahs moved on to her new house in Brighton now and as from tomorrow afternoon when my parents leave (DH works sundays) I will be on my own again...Big test! I'm quite scared actually, what if I nip to Sainsbury's on a craving? Will probably need major back-up next week folks.

I rather like having tantrums, I think it's only fair don't you? Cannot actually LEAVE the house due to kids being so young but if DH is at home and I'm ahving a barny with him it does make me feel better! I think it's something about the realisation that you are actually your own person after all and can physically walk away. Does that make sense or am I rattling on?!!

charliecat · 14/08/2004 21:26

I have wanted to up and leave quite a few times over the summer holidays. It just so happens dp was in and so off i went...on my 5 minute waddle!
Yes btw, dp is off for 2 weeks hols, we are planning on Chessington with the kids, Thorpe Park withoutkids with my sister and her bloke and possibly Longleat.
Im considering a move to Scotland so my kids can go back on Tuesday you lucky thing. My 2 dont go back till the 7th of September or something ridiculus like that and after one day without the oldest one I will be joining the little one at nursery. Bloody Hell.
Food tasting better, yes I think so, i am sort of hanging on the fridge door pecking at things every hour or so!
MM ban Sainsburys next week, you are so fit and healthly walk right past it to the nearest non fag selling shop lol!!!!!
Dont doubt yourself!
I reread this thread today, I feel ive been the most manic up down rrrraaaahhhhhh sort of one, you two seem sort of chilled out.
I think we will need a new thread at some point, not sure when though, when we all feel less desperate and unsure of ourselfs. I cant wait till I feel im over it.
We could call ourselfs the Super Nonsmoking Supremists or something...lol, giving myself a laugh if nothing else. Bye xx

minkmama · 14/08/2004 21:50

My DH would say you were having a laugh if you thought I was chilled out

fionagib · 14/08/2004 21:50

I love that image of hnaging on the fridge door pecking at things cc! Me too - have just licked out curry pot. That's not meant to sound rude! And I might sound chilled out but who's the one who puffed a cancer stick last night with her eyes skating in different directions due to alcohol? You're doing fine cc. I have been muttering f-off under my breath all week so certainly haven;t been chilled.

I hope work's better when you go back, as you won't have to think about being deprived fags for 4 hours...

mm - totally agree - stomping out is great, feels v liberating - one day I ran away from my kids in a park, just flipped out and ran, the three of them charging after me shouting mummeee... what a rotten bag I am! I also used to fantasise, when driving to nursery to pick up my sons, of just keeping on driving for ever and ever and ending up in Norway or something.

MM am sure you'll be fine next week. Have every confidence. One day at a time and all that. Who wants to go through the pain of giving up ever again? Stick to your guns and in a few weeks you'll be hardly thinking about them and well over the worst. The first 2 weeks are hardest aren't they? You'll be fine, & we'll be here for you so you can always bash out any crazed cravings on your poor PC's keys!

Am starting to enjoy the lack of feeling devious & pathetic (always sneaking away from kids for a fag) and not stinking. xx

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charliecat · 14/08/2004 22:26

Lmao at you two, must say this is making it sooo much easier.
Who were you muttering to? I confess to hearing one of the kids going MMMUUMMMEEEE and me going FFS under my breath and then going "Yes Darling" in the sweetest voice...well as long as they dont hear you lol
I am passing my time Gerbil Watching...

fionagib · 14/08/2004 22:33

Yeah, the jekyll & hyde approach to parenting... ffs-b@gger-off. 'Coming, dahlink!'
Just muttering to myself, cc! Do it all the time. The boys ran amock in mum's garden & trashed some prized plants she'd grown from seed so lots of under beath muttering lately. And a playstation/gameboy ban.

Am off for wine & baff, night night & will check in to the recoverers' clinic tomorrow!
xx

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minkmama · 14/08/2004 22:42

How do you impose a playstation ban on a DH

Night night fg! I'll still here for the night cc, but am going to have a shower and then watch 'the shield' for an hour. Read you later!

oh, what is Lmao? is that an acronym, i'm not v. good with those?

minkmama · 14/08/2004 22:56

Ffs is my personal favourite.

fionagib · 14/08/2004 23:02

haha mink!
How do you do emoticons? Can't figure out! duh...

Got wrapped up reading other threads but really am off for (black pepper scented) baff now, and a damn good snort!

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fionagib · 14/08/2004 23:07

ps made some mint tea today with mint from the garden which I thought would be all calming and health-giving but was actually about as pleasant as drinking wee.

It looked like wee as well.

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charliecat · 14/08/2004 23:21

lol fiona, you are trying too hard to be all natural and organic, still to a mellow birds next time!
Mink, lmao is laugh my ass off, i have posted tonight when Mark is having a fag, if it wasnt for the fact he smoked I wouldnt have got a look in on the pc. So cant offer a cure for moving screen addicted other halfs sadly.
Ive just realised, Black pepper spray, are we talking about the same black pepper you would have on a cheese toasty? Surely not...I am watching channel five too mink will probably not be back on so see you in the morning xx

charliecat · 14/08/2004 23:21

Stick not still to the coffee..

minkmama · 14/08/2004 23:50

fg, have you tried peppermint tea from twinnings? i first had it in germany years ago - my host family used to make a pot of it for breakfast. Frankly this was a little bit weird - why drink healthy for brekkie when you can get high on caffeine? Far better start to the day I feel.

Anyway, my point is that after you get used to the idea of drinking a fluid that isn't that far removed from toothpaste, it's quite nice actually. I find it clears my throat when I'm feeling gummy. On that subject, is anyone else phlegming up, or is it my hayfever?!! (Nice, I know)

CC the pepper spray is an essential oil (correct me if I'm wrong fg). I was going to ask you two whether or not you'd like some aromatherapy oil to combat the mood swings, aggression or whatever? I have a whole box of oils that i mix for the family and I could mix some up for you guys if you like. I'm not qualified, but i DO use a reliable book on aromatherapy with quatities and everything, so i won't kill you off or make you ill . e-mail me your addresses if you're interested...

So night night then. didn't get to watch the shield as dad and dh hogged the tv for footie instead

oh, fg, look at the guide to the right of 'add a message', and simply type the brackets [ ] and whatever emotion you want in between them!

charliecat · 15/08/2004 09:55

Morning, I watched channel 5 all last night, it was all crime/murdery programmes and i was getting so mixed up i couldnt tell if I was watching the same programme or if Id hit the remote control and flicked it to someting different. It was nice not having to remove myself from some good telly to miss 5 minutes whilst going for a fag though!
MM, I had been coughing before and after every fag when I was smoking. Now I get an out of the blue coughing fit resulting in a load of gundge, must be my lungs removing the crap from them selves.
Annoyed that dp leaves his fags on the table, he doesnt if im smoking. Its really bloody annoying. If im smoking he keeps them in his pocket.
I figure all smokers dont want to be the only one left being so destructive to themselves so where possible they will get others to join them, whether that be coinciously or not I dont know but it does piss me off.
You get those twats and you say, ive stopped smoking and they say D'ya wanna fag? again!
MM what do I do with this oil stuff, smell it srpay it or what? Total Dunce, I would like something I coould put on my wrist to sniff at for a calming sensation in my moment of jaw clenching need. Not that Ive had one of those for the last 24 hours but im sure it wont be the last Ive saw of them!
Let me know and I will email you laterxx

minkmama · 15/08/2004 11:54

Hi there. This morning was very trying. I woke up still tired and joined my parents in the garden. Had a coffee and even though neither of them were smoking at the time, I saw the packet and thought 'just one,just one'. I didn't have one in the end but it was a close shave. I often find that when I'm tired and haven't woken up fresh, that I need the psychological boost of sitting there and ruminating over coffee. I MISS MY MORNING FAG AND COFFEE

am still craving by the way. will go and have lunch now and shove a lozenge in straight after!

charliecat · 15/08/2004 12:18

Well Done MM you didnt! Go have lunch and wake up and suck your lozenge big cyber hug xxx

minkmama · 15/08/2004 12:56

Oh oh, have had lunch and craving severely. I thought to myself, just a drag of my mum's one won't hurt. It's terrible, so desperate! I used to give in to cravings before because I'd think that life is too short to cut out things that make you happy (ironic I know). Unfortunately this is the thought running through my head at the moment. Had to run up here just in case I crumbled...haven't even finished clearing up the dishes

I CAN DO THIS.

fionagib · 15/08/2004 13:56

You surely can do it, mink. You're doing so well and have been strong all week. Just one puff would probably taste disgusting anyway, and you'd be so mad at yourself. In the past I've found that 'one puff' or 'one fag' or whatever has made me feek so cross & upset that I've thought: 'Oh, bugger it', and gone right back to 20 a day.

Your parents will being going soon & temptation won't be there, right in your face. It's so hard, having fags around. Even just having parents around all the time can be tension-making (that's what I find, anyway). In the short term pls try to avoid seeing their fag packets (hard I know) & keep busy... maybe remind yourself too that you're lucky to have stopped, while they can't or don't want to...

CC, like you, I wish dh would hide his fags away. He has gone to glasgow to take kids to see shrek II (I am meant to be working!!) and has left fags behind. Not craving too badly today but in the past I'd have found it impossible to resist - being alone in the house, with fags very close by.

Mink - these cravings will lessen. Clean teeth, big drink of water, nice scented bath when you can manage one... it'll fade away. Another week and it'll start getting much easier for all of us. I think we're at quite a hard stage cos the high and novelty of quitting has started to wear off, and we're experiencing the less exciting (all right - pretty drudgy) realisation of knowing we cannot smoke again. Peppermint tea sounds good, will try that mm. Am not crazy about these things but I do find that changing certain other habits does help. (getting away from the coffee/fag association).

Me too - I loved the morning fag! When I really want it, I picture myself on our back step, in the rain, by the bin, embarrassed cos I know our neighbours can see clouds of smoking gusting over the wall, and on tenterhooks cos one of the kids could ping downstairs at any minute and find me madly stamping on fag butt - or dd (aged 4) would say 'Smoke came out of your mouth!' and I'd fib, 'It's just because it's cold & frosty outside!' Then upstairs for handwashing, teeth cleaning, breath freshening rigmarole... god I am so sick of all that. It made me feel about 2 inches tall (and often made us late for school as well!)

I do crave still (a kinda low level constant craving, rather than full on dementia at the mo) but am very very glad not to be smoking as I was so so sick of it, and nearly used to cry in despair over my lack of willpower/self control. It really is good to be free of that - copywright A. Carr (am ignoring my friday night blip, by the way!!)

Some oils would be lovely mink thank you - will email my address. Like cc I love being able to sniff at something nice to take my mind off cigs. It sort of heightens the fact that the sense of smell is so much better already. No throat gunge so far - but still a bit sweaty the odd night, and face is greasy with massive pores! Delightful.

Anyway folks am very grateful for this continuing support, you really are lovely cc and mm. see if emoticon works!

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