Is anyone out there a heavy drinker/active alcoholic/recovering alcoholic?

[BrassicMonkey]

Ok, so I've name changed and it's taken balls to post this.

I think I might be an alcoholic or at least drifting into that domain.

I know my posting style is pretty easy to spot, at least by those that I chat to on MSN, but I don't want to be outed on here and I don't want to chat about it on MSN either.

OK, so now I've said that (quite bluntly possibly, sorry )...

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to stay off the booze. It was bad enough last year, but I started this year with plans, and they've all been pissed away. I'm drunk/hungover more often than not. I'm suffering, the DC are suffering.

I want to stop. I don't like the idea of getting help but I'll do it if I have to.

Last time I had a drink was saturday. I'd promised myself that I'd have at least a 2 week break - tonight, I'm back on it again.

I want to have a go at stopping on my own before I go to AA or to my GP. Do I cut down gradually or just stop?

I'm probably going to be away for about an hour but any replies will be appreciated.

I come from a family of alcoholics and what scares me the most is that I'll never be able to have a sociable drink again without taking it to ridiculous levels. I'm scared of what's happening to my life and to my health but I'm more scared of being a miserable old cow that can't relax because I can't have a drink.

As I said, any responses would perk me up tonight.

TIA

Kokeshi - thanks for the info on DT's. I had no idea that withdrawal could be so bad. No, we haven't spoken before, I really should have put the message to 'K' in an email as it does look strange.

Oenophile - welcome to MN. I hope you decide to keep posting around the talk board. Thanks for the encouragment and for sharing

Chocol8 - Thank you. I'll CAT you.

Choclo8 - I've CATTED you but it might not go through as it's been a bot dodgy for me this week.

If you see this and you haven't got the CAT by tomorrow perhaps I could post an email address on here that you can contact me on.

Hi Brassic - well done on contacting that agency.

I think it sounds like you could go with a kind ear. The shame you mention sounds very overwhelming. However, I wanted to say to you - you ARE different to them because you are actively seeking help AND you've made it clear that you do want to change.

Please do go to your GP and ask them for help because you may need some sort of medication.

Those rehab places are terrifying but they do serve a purpose - if you talk to your GP, you may find you have an outpatient sort of place near you that you get along with.

do with a kind ear not go!

Batters - thanks

FIS - I've contacted a substance support team (???) in my area. I'm just waiting for them to call me back. Thank you though.

BM - If the agency takes over 24hrs to contact you, call again and explain that you are self referring but need help urgently. Well done again. x

BM - best wishes.

I don;t drink through an entirely different route - my life is much better now, I am much more together and no-one thinks I am boring - they don't realy care!

Hello all. Is this the new place? Well done BM. I expect you've spoken to someone by now. I hope it's gone well.

I'm a binge drinker. I'm fine for quite a long time, then I drink a bottle of wine or more. It may sound a bit lightweight, but it doesn't take much to be on a binge! I remember doing the diary thing for food, but I still don't really have the same feelings about booze. I just drink too much.

I feel at the moment as though I have been wolloped very hard by a drug-induced hangover, but it's not possible. I wondered if it was something I'd drunk, but I don't think Martini does that, does it? As usual, at my parents house. If I'm still standing, I think I'm doing well. Oh how wrong! This time, things there were far far worse than usual. I really hope I feel better soon. I read your things earlier, BM and I really feel for you.

it's been more than 24 hours now. I'm really desperate tonight. did the whole bottle. DS will be home soon - i really need to sober up.

hellbello - I can't really absorb and respond to your post at the moment but you sound about as fucked up as I feel - if i read it right. if i didn't - then sorry!

hi BM

Do you think you might contact the doctor?

don't want to speak to the GP. I phoned the substance abulse thing and they are phoing back soon. I' suffering now thouhh. don't know whether to keep drinking, stop driking or what

well done for phoning substance abuse thing.

Stop drinking now - mn instead.

lets have some mn competisism. I have 7 empty cans of coke on my desk. a half of vokda. there are 2 litres of mirloff on hthe flpoor.

Tell me what's on yorr desjk>

I'm sorry. that came across as dismissie and rude. I'm neiher when I'm sober

Tonight I hyst want to curl up n a ball and drink and drink anddrink but DS will be home soon and ihave to appear noral.

didn't mean to piss anyonee offf

I think you need something quicker than the drink aware helpline thing.

So you don;t want to talk to your GP? Why not try a few other helpline places.

I am worried about you waiting four weeks.

I agree with the DimpledThighs, this is too urgent to wait. How about finding out about an AA meeting in your area? Let's face it, it's not going to make things any worse and I'm sure (despite what your perceptions are) it will be of some use to you. People in those meetings have been where you are and are have heard it all. They will welcome you with open arms and understand totally.

There's no obligation to go back, you don't have to commit to anything and it's purely for yourself. I worry about you because I can see so much of myself from your posts. I know how desperate a place this is but I think you need help, and soon. 4 weeks is a long time in the life of a problem drinker. It just gets worse, believe me.

I can talk you through what will happen, answer any questions you have. Please don't be afraid.

AA website

Hiya BM. Good on you for making some calls, but I do reckon that you need some support sooner.
I know that you don't want to speak to your GP or go to AA, but if you did you might be surprised at much immediate help and support they can offer you!

It will be hard, but as you slowly start to break this habit it will be so worth it.

Hi BM

How are you today?

BM, why don't you want to talk to your GP? If you don't like your GP, you can change. You said in one of your earlier posts that you'd nearly told him - perhaps you could find the courage to do so (or take someone with you?) - the GP would probably be able to co-ordinate the help for you better.

I know you said you didn't want to speak to anyone in real life (friends, family) because of the reaction 'ohhhhhh, not you as well, haven't you learnt anything' - but I think you may find the mere fact that you are asking for help would mean that they would want to support you to help you steer off the path some of your family took.