Firstly, I am NOT a poo troll! Help!

[Badders123]

So. Whole family had norovirus last week - I wasn't sick unlike the others but I was thoroughly ahem emptied.
I swear I saw rice crispies circa 1989 in there 😱
I am now very constipated.
I've been eating fruit and rice cakes and bland stuff but I haven't been for what week now..
Been taking lactose twice a day and took senna last night but still no movement 😞
Ive got some laxido from my mum...should I take it?
I'm so uncomfortable 😞
Help!

Thank you

Costa Americano with cream and a trip round M&S. Works every time.

Might have to wait until tomorrow though.

I've used another suppository and had a slight movement
I shall try a Costa!!

Oh no, not good. What a rotten couple of weeks.

I swear by flax seeds and all bran. Increasing fat can help too. Try a fatty meal? A friend swore by a fry up!

I don't think I'd risk leaving the house to get the Costa, though...

Dried apricots? Similar to prunes, always work for me

The thought of food...
Bluergh

Going shopping tomorrow so will get some prune juice

Beer?

Strong coffee/tea and a fag. Whilst marching. Unless you don't smoke of course. In which case just the strong caffeinated drink and marching-even on the spot might help.

Go for a run to shake things down...

I did not drink or smoke I have no vices hahahahaha
I've walked loads yesterday and today
Woe is meeeeee

Bath with bubble and gently massage the inside of your bum hole with soap. Be prepared to carefully and quickly get out of the bath and onto the loo.

You need to down a pint of sparkling water. Really really fizzy

Oh god if she tries all this she'll explode.

Hope you get some relief soon op

Soap!!?
Might have a bath though
Thank you for the sympathy 💐

I didn't do a poo for a week after my c-section so I really do feel your pain. Poor bum

Husband was taken by ambulance to a & E in extreme pain including vomiting due to impacted constipation, even though he'd been earlier in the day! There was a blockage apparently.

He used one suppository and half an hour later, job done.

I wouldn't be leaving the house if I were you!

(something greasy always works foe me, Chinese, McDonald's breakfast, fish and chips......)

😥

Just don't drink an entire bottle of prune juice like I did once, blew up like a beach ball and farted like a trooper but no poo......

Yogurt with probiotics- I find my stomach needs them to get better after when everything has been stripped away.

If prune juice is too revolting, try fresh cloudy apple juice, like Copella etc and eating some dried apricots. Always works.

I'm allergic to yoghurt but have been taking optibac probiotics for a few days

Several pints of John Smith's bitter always seem to get DH trotting to the loo helpful