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Original poster

dd needs a liver transplant due to obesity related reasons... would you give part of your liver?

152 replies

louispa · 06/03/2017 22:54

this is a really hard situation for me and i am struggling with my choices. i feel like it isn't my place to talk about her medical history, she is in her early 20s.

however, she does need a liver transplant. there is the option of using part of a living match's liver.

would you do it? i think to myself would i do it if it was alcohol reasons and i think i dont know... its the same, isnt it? i dont know though.

OP posts:
lougle · 06/03/2017 22:58

I would do it without a second thought. What is there to think about?

(But then I am a nurse with a sociology based first degree so I won't see obesity as a self inflicted state, but rather a combination of nature and nurture, with societal influence.)

Casmama · 06/03/2017 22:59

I think it depends a bit on the reason for the obesity. If it is purely overeating that has led to the obesity and she has done nothing g to address why she overeats then I think it would be an unjustified risk.
If is is a medical condition which causes obesity then i might have a different view.

plannedshock · 06/03/2017 23:00

If it was my dd? I would give her my whole liver if she needed it, under any circumstances

Foldedtshirt · 06/03/2017 23:00

I'd donate part of my liver to my worse enemy. Why wouldn't you? Confused

Haudyerwheesht · 06/03/2017 23:01

What? Of course I would. I wouldn't even consider not doing it. I'd do it for anyone let alone my own child.

myoriginal3 · 06/03/2017 23:02

For my daughter? Yes.

Original poster
louispa · 06/03/2017 23:03

Casmama, she doesnt have any medical conditions that causes obesity. its overeating over the years. its hard because she was warned a lot. she had been admitted for various major infections of the gallbladder/liver and ended up in icu and was very very sick. she was warned for ages. she knew her liver wasnt doing well when she had the chance to turn things around.

OP posts:
shewolfmum · 06/03/2017 23:03

Livers are wonderful at regenerating. Sounds like she will need more help though...has she had counselling or therapy?

FrenchLavender · 06/03/2017 23:05

I'd donate part of my liver to my worse enemy. Why wouldn't you?

Really? Shock Why would you? Confused

CalmItKermitt · 06/03/2017 23:06

In a heartbeat.

Original poster
louispa · 06/03/2017 23:06

Foldedtshirt - i agree, i think thats a very odd response... why on earth would you do that?

OP posts:
RedBugMug · 06/03/2017 23:08

to my daughter, yes. anyone else probably no. it's high risk for the live donor.
but I think I would want her to do some therapy as well to get to the root of the cause.

clairethewitch70 · 06/03/2017 23:09

Of course. I would give anything for my sons.

Haudyerwheesht · 06/03/2017 23:09

I don't think it's an odd response. I suppose the extremes of someone being a worst enemy and they were inherently evil then maybe not but otherwise, yes, I would. I've seen a family member wait on s transplant and I couldn't see anyone go through That knowing I could've prevented it, whether I knew and loved them or not.

LadyMaryofDownt0n · 06/03/2017 23:09

For my daughter?! Without a thought & I think this whole thread reflects badly on you as a parent.

lougle · 06/03/2017 23:12

The donor's liver will be back to normal size within 6-8 weeks. There is a small risk from a general anaesthetic (~1%) as with any operation. Some other risks, but generally, it is a very safe procedure for the donor.

I can't quite fathom the conversation. "Yes darling, I know you will die, but you did rather get yourself into this pickle when you ate those chocolate buttons, didn't you, and you were warned....and we would have a scar and our liver would be only 2/3 of its normal size for a whole 6-8 weeks!"

It's really not the same as alcoholism. The reason they won't transplant in alcoholism is that other organs are also affected and the new liver will just be pickled in the same way as the old one. Also, alcoholism tends to be an accommodating disease - the body gets used to the level of alcohol and so the person needs more and more alcohol to have the same effect. It is common for it to go hand in hand with smoking and other illicit substances also, so multi-faceted.

Over-eating is not good, but it can be tackled...as long as the patient is well enough to tackle it.

age81 · 06/03/2017 23:17

It depends on your size & blood group op, my sister wanted to be my 'living donor' but she was too small.

What I needed would not have been enough for her tiny frame & im only a size 14.

To answer your question yes I would but probably not allowed now.

PickAChew · 06/03/2017 23:22

It would depend on who else was depending on me.

If vulnerable DS1 got himself into that pickle so long as I could be sure that even ore vulnerable DS1 would be cared for while I was incapacitated and that DS1 was mentally in a place where he wouldn't make himself that ill again in short order.

Foldedtshirt · 06/03/2017 23:23

If I could save a life, I'd undergo a general anaesthetic with its attendant risks, yes. Even for Donald Trump- if by some freak circumstances I was he only good available match.
Have you thought this through op? If she dies because she couldn't find a match, wouldn't you feel bad? That reason alone, knowing that I could have helped, even in a sticking plaster way, would be enough to make me donate.

PointlessUsername · 06/03/2017 23:24

Yes for any of my children with out a second thought.

If dd was anorexic would you hesitate then? I believe food issues are illnesses if that be over eating or under eating.

PickAChew · 06/03/2017 23:25

even more vulnerable DS2...

Foldedtshirt · 06/03/2017 23:25

And if she's been over eating for years and is only in her early 20s you're pat of the problem I'm afraid. Or was she raised by wolves and has only just tracked you down?

Original poster
louispa · 06/03/2017 23:30

Foldedtshirt thats really quite rude. she is in her early 20s yes. i think from about 14 you really cant control what they spend their money on when out with friends. she had a paper round from 13, what was i supposed to do? take her money off her so she couldnt physically buy food? she was a slim child until her teens.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 06/03/2017 23:30

You can become extremely obese on 5 or 6 years' overeating Hmm

DS1, only just 13, was bordering on underweight about 18 months ago, thanks to some food control issues. They have morphed into compulsive overeating and, combined with teen boy hunger, he's now verging on overweight. It won't take much for him to become obese. I have to lock food away and hope that a young man who is much bigger than me doesn't get physical because I'm not feeding him what he craves.

Original poster
louispa · 06/03/2017 23:31

what happens if something goes wrong? what about my 3 other dc? who didnt play any part in this? its really more complicate than everyone is making out.

everyone did everything we possibly could for her to stop eating. she refused to have therapy for over eating, etc.

there really is only so much you can do to help your adult dc.

OP posts: