EMERGENCY - Toilet problem, help needed

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Hi,

So embarrassed to be posting this - but as stuck on the loo in agony I'm desperate.

I have a stool that I can only presume is the size of a marrow attempting to pass my body. I'm on the verge of saying it's more painful than childbirth (and I had a 4th degree tear with no pain relief at that moment so I know what pain is!). I have attempted to go several times today and it gets so far out and then gets stuck. Like I cannot push anymore because I feel like it's going to rip me apart. I get contraction type waves trying to push it out but it won't come. Because I'm straining, there's then blood too. Earlier I tried using a tissue to grab and pull it out (clearly that worked well!!!!)

I HAVE to get this out tonight as I'm at work tomorrow and I cannot phone my boss to say I'm not coming in because I have a giant shit stuck up my arse!!!

Can anyone at all give me some suggestions to help clear this beast?

PS it's caused by medications that I'm on, a crap diet and probably not enough fluids when exercising this weekend. My routine has never been regular as such (once a week would be 'normal' but I'm sure I only went a few days ago!)

Thank you (and please don't laugh)

I am so glad that it is out! Poor you! I have had a slightly similar situation this week due to painkillers, but fortunately nothing as extreme as yours!

Three mugs of hot water with plenty of cider vinegar. More water before going to bed.
More hot water with cider vinegar in the morning.

Or, epsom's salts tonight.

Hurrah!!! I meant to say I've been there - codeine and bed rest in hospital for over a week- after 4 days with no BM they said to increase the amount of lactulose I was getting ....and realised they hadn't been giving me any!
I had to have dye pumped up my bottom for a scan - and was told that would work like an enema ... it didn't.

I ended up having glycerine suppositories - insert by a nurse and the first few I pooed out on their own instantly...on a bed pan with just a curtain preserving my dignity from rest of the ward.
Throughout pregnancies etc I had fibrogel and lactulose and drank lots of water - never going there again.
If you are continuing on your meds I would start regularly taking lactulose or movicol and aim to drink a pint of water twice a day...

How did you get it out? Oh, and congrats!!!

oh sorry, just saw your update.

I've had a ghost poo !

Yay!!!

Whatsgoingon I've posted the method above!

Good news too - no blood this time round!

It was very solid but I was guessing 3" could well have been more as I a bit rubbish at sizes

Thanks for the support - I didn't feel alone at all and that was a massive help in itself. The 'metaphorical hand holding'

Oh great, I clicked that link and now have adverts for Love Honey everywhere!

Congrats op!

Rainbows is it really big? Mine are always...hefty. But I go with no issues...not very ladylike!

So glad you've got it out OP. Have a hot shower / bath and a nice hot chocolate or similar to relax you, your body has just been through a lot.

I remember one of my post-medication cricket balls was after a therapy group. The staff had to stay there to lock up the building after all of the patients had gone. I would not have made it home, but equally I had to give it a lot of help. Oh the shame

QOD, that must've come out with a lot of force! We call a no poo when wiping poo a 'chi poo' I have no idea why!

As an aside, I always find supermarkets make me go. Nothing like trying to pack your shopping into bags and into the trolley win two screaming toddlers 'helping' and a shite knocking at the door trying to escape.

This reminds me of my first poo 5 days after giving birth. It was genuinely the size of a coconut and I remember thinking it was like sludge. Weird because I expected it to be dry, but it was literally just stuck. Passing it was on a par with the labour... Infact it was worse because it has left me with a recurring fissure whereas the labour left me with no problems at all.

I still get flashbacks now!!!

Ha ha jobrum I bet I will too now!

Thank you

PS off topic - what is this icon:

I thought make a cake but then that hasn't made sense on some of the posts I've seen it appear on before but it wasn't the place to ask!

oh i do love a happy ending x

I was just coming to suggest Diet Coke.
Glad its out

Its a jammy dodger

its a jammy dodger - often used to show disdain for a post. it has something to do with Gordon Brown . i suspect the pp meant it as a representation of your poor bottom

Ahhhh the Jamie dodger makes perfect sense! Thanks

Jammy bloody autocorrect

is a biscuit but I was thinking of your poor bumhole rather than biscuits

Just read the thread.
This is what I love about MN. Where else could you go for advice about a tricky poo?

Pipbin I know, right? I just didn't know where to go and Google wasn't helping..... Then I remembered the threadworm post and how helpful people were so thought it was worth a try!

I feel for you. Glad it's out. I have waves of pain up my back & down my legs sometimes after I've had a nasty poo. It's chuffing awful, isn't it? Ds1 has HUGE poos very regularly that dh has to break up in the pan as they get stuck going round the u-bend they are so huge. When he goes into the loo we call it Log O'Clock.

Hooray! Oh god been there and know the horrible feeling. I nearly prayed to God to get it out once and I'm not remotely religious.