EMERGENCY - Toilet problem, help needed

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Hi,

So embarrassed to be posting this - but as stuck on the loo in agony I'm desperate.

I have a stool that I can only presume is the size of a marrow attempting to pass my body. I'm on the verge of saying it's more painful than childbirth (and I had a 4th degree tear with no pain relief at that moment so I know what pain is!). I have attempted to go several times today and it gets so far out and then gets stuck. Like I cannot push anymore because I feel like it's going to rip me apart. I get contraction type waves trying to push it out but it won't come. Because I'm straining, there's then blood too. Earlier I tried using a tissue to grab and pull it out (clearly that worked well!!!!)

I HAVE to get this out tonight as I'm at work tomorrow and I cannot phone my boss to say I'm not coming in because I have a giant shit stuck up my arse!!!

Can anyone at all give me some suggestions to help clear this beast?

PS it's caused by medications that I'm on, a crap diet and probably not enough fluids when exercising this weekend. My routine has never been regular as such (once a week would be 'normal' but I'm sure I only went a few days ago!)

Thank you (and please don't laugh)

self evacuation is the way forest gloves live and a finger good luck

You need to see your doc - could be an obstruction or something serious.

Seriously OP, do what PPs have suggested and squat on the toilet seat, or if that's too precarious in the bath. A proper squat will straighten out your colon, and also give you good access to the area for splinting/support/evacuation etc.

Sitting on the edge of the bath seems to get you into the correct position to pass it into the bath. Sorry. May have to use a finger too.
remembering 3 days after childbirth. Was grey +sweating....

Indeed
Do it like the unicorn ice cream video!

Sympathy from me. My poo was like a cricket ball after taking pain killers for one week post-op. I took it out bit by bit as soon as I could hobble to the toilet on my crutches. Spent ages getting rid of the smell from my hands afterwards. Also used lots of glycerin suppositories and senna.
Diet did not make much difference but fibre helps a bit.
One trick I used at home was sitting/shitting over a bucket of hot water.
Steam relaxes the anal muscles somehow.

look up shiatsu points for constipation and press it (there should be one on your abdominal area).

If you can manage it then try going for a walk outside for 5 - 10 minutes, whenever I'm 'blocked up' movement seems to make it more manageable (maybe the movement breaks it up a bit?)

Have you got any crap chocolate in the house?

I ate a left over easter egg earlier (crappy cheap American chocolate) and my bowels have been evacuating ever since (but not diarrhoea).

Must be something in the chocolate that acts as a laxative.

Oh, and sit on the loo with your arms in the air and your legs propped up on a little stool or something.

Push your fingers either side of your bumhole like pressing down this will help it out I have similar problem after gall bladder op. Have to help pooh's out all the flipping time

Perhaps you could christen it Winnie?

Sorry no actual advice!

Opiates are known to do this 😡😡😔

Not read whole thread so it may have already been suggested, but have you tried continually clenching and unclenching your muscles - this can sometimes help the poo move down and out. Far preferable to fish slices and spoons!

I've been constipated since giving birth last week. As well as the obvious lactalose, I've tried bracing and bulging - ie sucking my stomach muscles in and out repeatedly. Also pelvic floor exercises, particularly focusing on the 'down/relaxing' move. I usually find a strong cup of coffee gets things moving. When I watched 'the island' a woman said she made her self go by inserting fingers up her vagina and pushing back from there. No way would I try that right now, but you could give it a go!

Jesus wept. I really feel for you.

I think if you take any oral laxatives it could just give you 'overflow diahorrea' and won't shift the obstructing pooh.

My DB (as a child) used to get this - vaseline round the anus and put hot water in the loo pan (the warmth really seems to help) and get a hot (not boiling) facecloth and hold over your anus -must relax the muscles (guess like a warm bath but unless you want to crap in the water at least you are in the right place to just go when you can)
I used to sit on the bathroom stool and hold DBs hands and say push...(also helped to break up his logs when they were too big to flush.. thinking about it I really was a kind big sister!)

Please do not try the orange juice or coffee or another similar method as it will encourage more movement from above the blocked stool and may cause it to clump together. You need to soften and release what is already there. Getting off the toilet is a good call. Breathe! Stay calm. Do not strain, you will just tear. Glycerine suppositories are great for many but I could never keep 'em in place for long enough. Sit on a low chair, feet high up and breathe gently. Just relax and do this off the toilet. You can get very worked up over the toilet. When you do go back; feet on a stool and lean forward. If really nothing moves, you will need to call out of hours.

Good luck!

I have no advice, only sympathy (and interest in the outcome of the birth of your miracle poo). I once text my husband from the bog at work saying I was birthing a shit wider than my own head and to please send an ambulance. I have IBS, so if I'm not texting him about gigantic poos I'm texting him to say my legs are numb from shitting my arse off endlessly since eating a flapjack or something.

I hope you have, erm, "worked it out" now.

When you do give birth to your poo, don't forget to tell us the time, weight and name Op !

I'm sure it's the last thing you want to do, but walking up the stairs a couple of steps at a time can really help to get turds moving.

If you have no glycerine in, mix warm water and sugar and let it cool, then use a syringe to insert it. Do it lay down and hold it in for as long as possible. Then do as PP's have suggested and squat so your colon straightens out. Good luck, I had a fissure for 6 months and believe me, you don't want that!

IT'S OUT IT'S OUT!

Oh sweet Jesus thank god that's over. I've just look and and its approximately 3 inches wide or just over. No wonder it was hurting!

Thank you so much everyone.

Please don't let me forever be known on here as 'driven insane....isn't she the one who got her shit stuck?'

A thousand thank yous- going to take some stool softeners alongside evil painkillers now.

I think I love you all

A large mug of hot chocolate. Do it to a temp. To be able to down it.
I used to give hot choc to DD as a toddler and it worked within 15/20 mins most of the time.