EMERGENCY - Toilet problem, help needed

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Hi,

So embarrassed to be posting this - but as stuck on the loo in agony I'm desperate.

I have a stool that I can only presume is the size of a marrow attempting to pass my body. I'm on the verge of saying it's more painful than childbirth (and I had a 4th degree tear with no pain relief at that moment so I know what pain is!). I have attempted to go several times today and it gets so far out and then gets stuck. Like I cannot push anymore because I feel like it's going to rip me apart. I get contraction type waves trying to push it out but it won't come. Because I'm straining, there's then blood too. Earlier I tried using a tissue to grab and pull it out (clearly that worked well!!!!)

I HAVE to get this out tonight as I'm at work tomorrow and I cannot phone my boss to say I'm not coming in because I have a giant shit stuck up my arse!!!

Can anyone at all give me some suggestions to help clear this beast?

PS it's caused by medications that I'm on, a crap diet and probably not enough fluids when exercising this weekend. My routine has never been regular as such (once a week would be 'normal' but I'm sure I only went a few days ago!)

Thank you (and please don't laugh)

I think they are. Can you get a friend to get you some if DP is useless

Suppositories are on the boots website so I presume they are available over the counter too. My midwife inserted mine post cs - it was like dynamite. Good luck.

strong coffee works for me but it does sound like you need something the other end. glycerin suppositories or microlax enema is what you need. its horrible isn't it

If it's at the 'baby's head' size, the only thing that will help is a rubber glove and Vaseline. Sorry!

I feel your pain - literally - I've had 8 laxido today for same.

Blowing is meant to help - do the kids have any bubbles lying around?

Does your A&E department have a GP linked to it? Might be worth a call .

Good luck!

Also lying over a gym ball with it pressing on your belly - move around and it massages the stomach area.

Definitely pushing on the perineum whilst pushing the poo out helps, get some tissue paper and press the perineum as soon as you are trying to push the poo out if that makes sense

Just text hubby from the loo begging him to go get the suppositories and orange juice (plus to ask for advice). Can't get off the loo now Lets hope he reads it as my phone has died so can't ring him!

Had another wave of 'contractions' - Vaseline didn't help, neither did blowing my nose. Tried the finger inside my vagina to push it out.... The bloody thing felt even bigger than I realised and now I'm more scared than I was.

I don't smoke so that's not a option. Hate coffee but might be willing to try it now!

Oh the shame

You poor thing, do you have a juicer? A glass of vege/fruit juice works v fast for me although if it's that big you may not want anything more in your system until it's out!
As grim as it sounds, breaking it up might be your only option, have you got any rubber or plastic gloves?😬

Can you gently insert a finger into your vagina and feel for the stool? If it's hard and large, it's possible that it's pushing forward into your vagina. You can support your vaginal wall as you push to stop that, and if necessary try to break the stool up with your finger from the inside (sorry to be so graphic, but it is useful to know!)

We've got a box of latex gloves (you know, the crime scene sort!) somewhere - I might try to leave the bathroom to find them

Are you in the bathroom? Run a bath, warm water may help. I have some glycerin suppository I'd run round if you were near me!!

Lougle I felt it from in there and it's bloody enormous - could barely get my finger in!

Id call OoH doctors. It's not good to keep straining. I really think you need glycerine up there.

X-post. Can you run a warm bath and sit in it? The water will help to soften the stool if you gently push and clench in the water.

When I was pregnant with DS I used to go once a week, so it was exactly like yours. The only thing that shifted it was hospital baked beans on toast! Maybe you could make yourself some?

Thanks Rainbowsandunicorns5 - that's the nest thing anyone could have said in this situation!

*nicest

It will feel bigger than it is, I promise!

How are you posting / texting if your phone is dead?

In dire situations I have found a finger to be useful

Can you give us a clue as to where you are ? One of us might be near enough to drop some round

Oh dear. I don't have any advice other than what you've had already but I hope you're not sitting there too long

Drink a litre of bottled of diet coke really quickly- has to be bottled- bizarrely this works for me every time