Tamoxigang thread 49 when Sumer is y cumen in and we get out the Pimms

[Lilymaid]

New thread!

[traviata]

hi minty and welcome.

At my first referral they said "we think it is very likely you have cancer but we just want the biopsy results to be sure". That was based on mammograms and ultrasound. So I think it is pretty common to be 'diagnosed' subject to histology tests & biopsy for the finer details.

Incidentally my lump was 9cm - was I shocked I didn't realise it was there? Oh yes.... but it felt like normal breast tissue, and big does not necessarily mean advanced.

And:

now the lump is gone; so in principle the cancer is gone;
and I am halfway through chemo to try to ensure that it hasn't and won't spill elsewhere; then I will have rads;
...and life is good.

I feel pretty well nearly all the time.
I only have one breast, but on the other side I have a tender pretty scar that I massage and I nurture and care for; and I can feel my ribs (first time for years);
I am being treated efficiently by lovely, caring, professional people.
The future is unknown, just as it was before my diagnosis.
This treatment process will come to an end, and all its inconveniences will come to an end.
when I have something to worry about, then I will worry, and I will not worry about things I can't know about.

[ConsiderablyBiggerBuns]

We have had many a discussion around the lack of social graces/tact/bedside manner of the medical staff. I think 'what a stonker' wins this week!
I think they always expect women to be expecting the worst news - I wasn't, even though I knew I was relatively high risk, my GP, had said she didn't think my lump was anything to worry About and so I chose to believe her, hence my lack of preparation mental and support wise at the breast clinic.

[amberlight]

Hi Minty. Welcome. Mine was about the same size. Still here 3 and a half years later and no sign of return yet. Oddly, size doesn't make a lot of difference to whether it's a rudely behaved one or not. Some lumps are quite well behaved and just potter along, slowly growing where they are in the breast. They aren't a problem. Dr Locum needs a hard stare, though - what a clueless way to describe something! Have a and stay with the good people here until you know a bit more.

[Speedypenguin]

Traviata- I think I will write down your last lines and repeat them to myself on a regular basis. I am just over half way through chemo but finding it hard to see the end. I know it will but it seems a long way off.

[mintyneb]

Thank you for all your lovely replies. I never thought I would need to join this club but now that I am, I'm pleased to learn it has such lovely members.

So it sounds like I'm in good company in getting a diagnosis before biopsy results. I know what you mean about being spared the uncertainty of a long wait, I guess the downside is it has left me clinging a little to false hope.

But, at least I can start getting my head around preparing for Friday's appointment. DH is coming with me this time so hopefully he'll cover off the questions if I forget to ask them.

I hope you're right that big doesn't necessarily mean bad. Let's hope it's a lazy one with a good thirst on it and that I can get rid of it soon!

Off to bed now to make an attempt at getting some sleep, thanks again for the welcome

[mrsrhodgilbert]

Good night minty, try to put it out of your mind tonight. I have learnt to close down at bedtime. My DH took notes when I had my diagnosis, which were brilliant when we got home.

traviata very wise words, none of us knew about the future before all this, we still don't.

My day has ended well after a very dodgy start. Dd cooked us a delicious dinner and baked her dad a birthday cake. We didn't have nearly enough candles......

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

CBB, just curious, what month will you be 50 next year? I turn 50 in 2015 too.. In Oct.

Minty, sorry you find yourself here, but welcome

traviata, lovely post.

[elportodelgato]

Morning all, and welcome minty, I hope everyone has a good day today

I've been up for about an hour already, trying not to worry (ha ha). My biopsy site is quite sore, but I also have a dull ache and tingling down my right buttock and leg which of course I am 100% sure is to do with my liver being affected I wish I could switch off my bloody brain.

Bone scan today which I'm told is very boring, so am taking the book on Mindfulness which my nurse gave me.

[elportodelgato]

Also thanks traviata for your post, like speedy, I have copied the last lines into my diary as a reminder of where we are all at with this thing.

[mrsrhodgilbert]

Morning elporto, I'm just having breakfast before we leave for rads in about 30 minutes, I thought you might be up. Wasn't traviatas post amazing? I feel I'm being cared or by very concerned professionals, everyone has been so kind. I won't be having tears on the rads machine today, I feel much better. I hope your tests are painless, did you ave a core biopsy taken yesterday? They are a bit sore afterwards with good bruising. Hope it all goes smoothly.

[elportodelgato]

Morning mrs and good luck with your rads, how many more days to go? Are you feeling hopeful now that the end is in sight?

Just about to heave myself out of bed, one of the hardest bits of the day... Yes, was core biopsy yesterday - several samples - but the bloody woman didn't anaesthetise me properly and I felt the whole damn thing. There was swearing and also tears. Love love love the NHS but could have done without that at 9am tbh!

Better day today I hope, for all of us xx

[mintyneb]

Morning! I'm another one sat here having breakfast. Have to get up to get DD to school but then I'm not going into work. Instead I'm looking forward to going to my best friend's house for lunch :-).

Good luck Mrs with the treatment and elporto I hope you have a better day. I still have a lovely bruise from my core biopsy last Tues. I found it stung a bit for the next few days and then I couldn't wait to get the plaster off

[wineoclocktimeye]

Morning, yet another one having breakfast before rads (and picking up my 12 year old from his school trip - guess what, he hasn't been eaten by a crocodile in Surrey - see paranoid mother post )

I'm also going to be 50 next year, in May, maybe we should have a huge Tamoxigang 50th party with everyone invited?

Good luck to everyone today.

[elportodelgato]

Wine, glad your DS survived the wilds of the English countryside now brilliant to have him home.

Minty, hope you have a lovely lunch with your best friend today

And I would definitely come to a tamoxigang 50th party if I am still standing next May! I am nowhere near 50 yet, but I hope one day I will be

[weebarra]

Morning all! Hope everyone has a good day with rads etc today.
I had a good time in Spain but not hugely relaxing with 3 DCs, esp as baby barra was sharing a room with us and decided that sleeping through wasn't for her!
The villa has lots of shade so was ok keeping out of the sun. Big floppy hat was handy. The hardest part was keeping the sun off the supra-clavicle bits but I either used a shawl or one of the Seasalt Handybands which I'd previously used as bandanas. Might have looked a bit daft but I didn't care.
I did have a serious wobble on the beach one day when I saw all the other women with their breasts and playing in the sea with their DCs while I was covering up under a parasol. Never thought I'd be envious of old lady boobs!
Anyway part of that was due to not being able to be in the sun due to rads so next time will be easier!
Like Porto, it's a while til I'm 50 but will be happy to have a virtual party with those of you who are celebrating. My next biggie is 40, but that's a few years yet!
Taking all three DCs to DS1's eye hospital appt today, wish me luck.

[mrsrhodgilbert]

Rads all over for another day, that was 8/15, 7 more to go. I think I'm beginning to get slightly pink but nothing significant. I'll keep slapping on the moogoo. My treatment will end Friday of next week. I guess it will go quiet then for a few weeks before I see the surgeon again for a check up.

Are you due to finish this week wine ?. How is your skin doing?

I haven't heard from dd2 since 1.30 yesterday but I haven't heard of any ferries sinking overnight so I guess she's got to Belgium. Glad your son got back safe and sound.

Hi weebarra glad you had a nice holiday, if not too restful. But it was never going to be with such little ones. Fortunately mine are happy to lie still now and toast. I'm still surprised at the different advice we've been given re skin care in the sun, yours seems to be much stricter. I will be very careful though.

[Mummywheel]

Welcome Minty you've come to the right place for advice and hand holding.

Glad you had a nice holiday wee

I've completed 12/15 rads mrs and my skin is also a little pink. I have a day off today as I have my second herceptin injection at 2pm.

Love your post Trav very well written

[mrsrhodgilbert]

elporto I've just read on your other thread that your bone scan was clear. What a relief for you, I hope your heart is beating a little more slowly now.

[mintyneb]

weebarra, sounds like you had a good holiday although sorry to hear you had the wobble on the beach. I am only a newbie here so have no idea what its like to be in your shoes, but I would imagine that sights of bikini clad women could provoke a strong response.

elporto, so glad your bone scan has come up clear, that must be a huge weight off your mind

So, have I have definitely benefitted from not going to work today. I had a lazy morning and then lunch with my best friend at her house. It was good to chat about my impending full diagnosis and just about everything else. The only downside was she asked if she could see/feel the lump. A valid question and I was quite happy to show her (it always bothered me whether I would ever know what a breast lump would feel like). I wasn't expecting the fleeting look of horror that swept across her face when she felt just how big it was and the realisation that I hadn't known it was there until 3 weeks ago :(.

How can I have not known it was there?

anyway, it will be Friday before I know it and I will get to hear the treatment plan. I'm really starting to find the waiting for results hard

[ConsiderablyBiggerBuns]

To answer mom's question I am 50 in September 2015, which means that is a joint 150th next Summer for me, mom and wine unless there are any other 1965 vintage babies out there.
elporto that is fantastic if your bone scan is clear. That was the one I was really worried about and had developed all sorts of 'symptoms' all of which miraculously disappeared when I got the all clear. Did you have the NHS elastic band around the ankles, hated that. I have to say I am very envious of your speedy access to results, I never seem to hear anything for weeks and only after I chase them up, perhaps that is the West Country for you.
wee I'm not sure holidays with babies are ever very relaxing, without all your extra stresses, but I am sure it was great for the family unit to get away together.
minty I'm sure a lot of people on here have been surprised that they didn't spot a lump sooner, for my shame, I did spot mine really early and didn't do anything about it for 6 weeks - now that is really shameful. Have to say no one (including my husband) asked to feel my lump, but that is actually a really good public service!

[foofooyeah]

Wrt lump spotting, mine was 9cm, and even the consultant didn't spot it all initially, was found on MRI as right in the middle behind nipple. (But dd have big boobs for it ti hide in);

I'm 50 next year too!

[elportodelgato]

Nice to hear everyone is getting through the rads OK this week.

Minty, no one has yet asked to prod my breast! was it OK having her touch it? I am getting ready to bid my left one farewell next week which I am finding very emotional now it is potentially so close. I am thinking of you as Friday looms - big meeting and then away for the weekend too, I am sure your DH will be doing some serious hand holding that day and you'll be in my thoughts.

Yes, I am very pleased about the bone scan. The woman at the hospital told me straight away that it was all fine, so it's not an official result IYSWIM but it will do for me. To be honest, I am most worried about liver MRI which is Friday. They have clearly found something small in the liver on the CT scan and need to check it out further so this is my big area of concern at the moment, and the focus of all my 'imaginary' (or otherwise) symptoms. But I am listening to the wise words of amber about all the fab things they can do for liver secondaries nowadays and trying to stay as positive as I can.

Tomorrow is a meeting with my nurse about reconstruction options, then she is going to meet my DC which I think will be very reassuring for them.

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

Wow, so at least 4 of us 50 in 2015!

My lovely Onc rang me today. She had received paperwork from insurance co asking when I will be fit for work. She is signing me out until at least Sept. Yay, I was going to use vacation time to stay out,
I have appointment with surgical team mid Aug to discuss my genetics results. I expect a recommendation to have preventative mx and reconstruction. I don't see any point in going back to work and then coming out again if I need that.

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

elporto, how old are your DC? Great idea for them to meet the nurse.
Mine are 10 and 12 and got a tour of Radiotherapy room/machine. They found it interesting and liked being able to visualise what I was doing.

[mintyneb]

It didn't bother me letting my friend see/feel (you'll all be thinking I'm a bit weird now!). In a way it allowed me to share some of the fear I am going through with someone else. DH is not one for talking so we've not really said too much to each other yet.

Glad I'm not the only one who didn't know they had a lump. All I can tell myself is that I went to the gp as soon as I found it.

Amazing how many folks are turning 50 next year, I'm not quite there yet but at 46 am nearer my half century than 40!