********The 37th Tamoxifen Thread, Fun and Tears in "Cancerland" *****

[Copthallresident]

Trolley Rolled over and "Its a small small world" playing on the ipod on repeat.

Right , I've given myself a metaphorical kick up the arse !
I shall paint my toenails a bright colour and get on with it all

Gigs that must have been really hard , going back there yesterday .
Was it a long apt ? I remember my measurements apt . Spent ages lying topless on a table whilst everybody poked and prodded me .
I think I cried at one point

Smee new boobies ?
How exciting !
Are you nervous ? How long will you be in for ? Most importantly , will you have access to the Internet ???

I'm off to scavenge round my kitchen for something yummy .

Nail polish ,lip stick and perfume always help a bit.

Was about 1 1/2 in all - I was crying inside . Had horrid face mask fitted for neck radio which is really uncomfy . Then tattoo on hips and ct scan(which is emotive enough).

Malt take it a day at a time - you may find doing things for ds helps Focus your mind away from things.

Mas It was me reading the Sylvia Plath. It's Mad Girls Love Song, reviewed here www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/feb/15/critical-eye-book-reviews-roundup. I wasn't aware Radio 4 had done it, it is 500 pages.

gigs It is horrible to have all the sights and smells forcing you to relive it.

Didn't manage to sleep at all last night, the official announcement of DH early retirement was made yesterday so he was a bit arsey last night an then around 3am the bed collapsed! Thank you John Lewis for selling us a crap bedstead.... www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-boston-bedsteads-kingsize/p312036?colour=Kingsize#tabinfo-ratings .

Meant to say to malt and kitkat whilst my hair on my head fell out my pubes and leg hairs didn't

Sorry thought link would take you straight to reviews but clear if you read those that we are not alone.....

ah,sorry copt - I may have imagined it being on R4...
@ bed collapsing !!
gig mask thing can't have been very nice.

Copt what were you doing to make the bed collapse ?

Gig The mask thing must have been horrible.

Am flinging Thornton's chocolate squares on the trolley......... and dashing out the door to have a crown fitted (tooth not head) x

That was my first thought Malt
What were you up to Copt ?

Lol Sometimes , thought you'd joined Baroness Amber in the landed gentry

Gigs it's just not nice , all this invasive prodding and poking .
As an intensely private person , I have found all this exposing my body to 50 million people very tough going

At breaking bed- you can can out in loft here if you like as have comfy bed. I can kick dh arse if that helps Copt?

Mm-choclit thanks sometimes.

Topsy- I am not kicking you as sauron may bite. Can you give hnd a hug as saw on FB that doesn't need pump all the time .

(((((hugs))))) for Gig. That sounds horrid, poor you. When do you start and how many? x

Good on you for trying cold cap then, Kitkat. Might as well give it a whirl. I had 3 FEC, 3 Tax, so same mix as Amber. Sounds like you might be doing same?

at bed, Copt. From John Lewis too, who'd have thought it..

Yes implant switch/ scar revision tomorrow. It's because of capsular contraction, so not only do breasts not match, this one looks weird, as have a hollowed out breast bone section, then weird bulge. Whatever they do tomorrow has to be an improvement. Not sure if I'm staying in or not - think they'll kick me out if they can, but depends where I am on the list. Am waiting to hear from BCN, so have a feeling I might be bumped, as clearly am non-urgent now.

I am sitting here in DS's shoes. New ones for school, but they're a bit stiff, so he's gone to school in his converse and I'm breaking in his footwear. The things mothers do...

Hugs to all. Better get on, got stacks to do before tomorrow. anyone?

Yay for HND, that's great news. Been such a haul for her.

Topsy, how are the glums? Is the nail polish working its magic?

Hope find out today smee as nothing worse than going in to get bumped . Am at breaking in ds shoes- thats love. I think if you are ok post ga they like to kick you out- just that might be a while as non urgent tend to be back of the list (occasionally you get lucky as do you first as "simple").

Oh and start next Thursday but Onlyq
10 as its short and sharp. That said side effects meant to be less long term too.

So have they told you what problems / pain levels you'll face? 'short' good, 'sharp' sounds a bit daunting.

I don't react well to GA's, so if they have me in late they'll be stuck with me. I always throw up, BP crashes, etc, etc. I know I'm fine, but they always go into panic mode.

Won't be too painful, skin bit sore (probably more red) and may get sore throat but should be over it in 2-3 weeks. Main issue is between infection and mini gig I feel knackered now as it is so radio won't help that!

Sounds a bit of haul to me, though good that it's so time limited. Will will you no infection vibes, plus no broken machines..

Ah yes the joy of broken machines. Must say of all various places been on cancer treatment radio is most grim, not just cos of association but it is grim. Place is littered in reception with the most dire Macmillan leaflets despite patient complaints .

Sending you no sick, early op vibes smee .

Totally get that, Gigs. I seem to remember helpful 'friends of the hospital' had left lots of 'Chat' type magazines in the waiting room and each and every one had a 'My Cancer Hell' story in it.

Lots of good vibes for tomorrow dear smee and hope the anaesthetic doesn't make you feel too horrid.
Am feeling unbelievably sleepy and tired and generally a bit weedy..I think I need some fresh air. Have just eaten a big choc cookie for energy as am trying to do sometimes's commission and want to make it lovely..
T home from one lesson until later when he has Geography lesson so need to find him some lunch.

Had appointment to go back for my results 430 next Thursday, least I know now and can plan things to keep me busy earlier in the week
Smee hope everything goes ok and the GA is not too bad
MAS are you still awake ? Hope you can get it finished and chill out for a bit
Hi everyone else
Had nice chat and tea with friend from work who had BC a few years ago, like you lot she kind of normalises it for me. We talked about chemo hair loss and wigs
Ran out of vases for all my flowers and have resorted to a pint glass, classy !

Ooh thanks, MAS, but don't put yourself under pressure on my account, everything you've ever done for me has been lovely!

I must say it is very lovely to have a new crown and be able to chew (even if I am £200 lighter of pocket ).

G'luck for tomorrow smee x

Malteserz - how lovely to have so many flowers!

I may have overdone the word 'lovely' in that last post

Lovely!!!!

Lovely gnashers, Sometimes. Though £200?!

That's good about appt, Malt. Though must say I think it's a bit useless of your lot not to tell you when things are going to happen. My BCN was brilliant at laying it all out for me, so I knew exactly how long I had to wait before each new bit of news/ what was next, etc. When you go and see them next week, I'd nail them on all of that. You need a timeline and they must have one.

MAS, energy giving cookies sound like the way to go. Not surprised you're feeling a bit weedy. Chemo must take it out of you. Sending energy vibes your way x

Op's definitely on for tomorrow. Eek.. think I've been in denial. Don't have to be there until 12.30, and they've said they'll try and get me home if they can.