********The 37th Tamoxifen Thread, Fun and Tears in "Cancerland" *****

[Copthallresident]

Trolley Rolled over and "Its a small small world" playing on the ipod on repeat.

They did say 2 weeks smee I've just been waiting for the appointment. I do seem to have had things in a different order to others on here though and can't even remember the name of my BCN, I thought there would be a bit more support really.

Smee - really hope you aren't nil by mouth from midnight if you have to wait until lunchtime

Malt, that's good though I agree you should have more support. BCN are supposed to be v.much there for you at diagnosis especially. I had direct phone line and was told I could ring any time. I know that's amazing, but I don't think it's all that unusual.

Sometimes, apparently I can have a light breakfast at 6.30, and have to stop drinking water at 10.30am, so that sounds doable. Who's on brekkie duty tomorrow? I'll put my order in.

malt glad you've got your appointment through

topsy hope your feeling better and your bum isn't too sore

smee good luck for tomorrow's op - I'm similar to you after a GA, yuck...

gigs the face mask sounds horrid :( at least it's over with for today...

sometimes enjoy your new crown

and I notice copt hasn't confessed yet to how the bed got broken!

to everyone else

I'm feeling suprisingly up beat today, goodness knows why! or is this the first sign of madness?

Betsy I'm very up and down too I think we're normal well I hope so !
Smee I was stupid for my op and had tea with the kids at 5 though I wasn't nil by mouth till midnight. Then no one told me that as my op wasn't till 3 I could have a light breakfast so basically went 24 hours without eating!

malt- if you don't mind me asking, what did you say to the kids at school?

Part of me doesn't want them (or their parents) to know anything, but I can't really go off without saying something.

Some of my hours are for 1-2-1 support for a statemented child, so I can't just "disappear" unnoticed for a while in a re-org for next school year and obviously that child will need someone else to support them for the autumn term at least (I suspect they won't do anythng to cover the last few weeks of this term...) My 1-2-1's mum is lovely, but I'm not sure I want her to know my business but equally don't want her thinking I've been sacked or something!

Also not sure what will happen re my job anyway, as I only started last September. Like most TAs these days I'm on a fixed term contract, which had been extended until March 2014 before all this happened, but they could easily get rid of me then if they so choose.... :(

It's hard isnt it
I've been at my school for 12 years its a small school where everyond knows everything and a lot of the parents i see as friends so once I'd told a few people word went round very quickly. I didn't say anything to my class as they're only little plus it was bad timing as my nursery nurse got a new job and left on the same day as me too so they were a bit upset about that. I imagine my job share partner has just told them that I'm poorly now, she's covering my days.
I keep thinking about popping in to say hello but I'm waiting for my results and I think I'd find it too upsetting at the moment
How's your head ? Have you spoken to them about it ? It's hard as we don't really know how long we ll have to be off for yet either do we

betsy It's tricky to know what to say at school I think - I suppose it's better to 'fess up otherwise people then might devise all sorts of reasons why you're away-and am sure your 1-2-1 child will miss you.
malt definitely pin down the bcn as they can be so valuable. I have been unbelievably lucky with mine - all the nurses are great in fact and can be contacted for any worries/questions.
Have been out to buy a few bits for lunch and some take away coffee- definitely feeling a bit off as I'm achy too. A nice brisk walk with S from school will blow some cobwebs away !

The TAs in my school (two form entry so a bit bigger) all report to the deputy head & she has been really lovely I have to say. :)

Afternoon all, - hope you are feeling a bit better this morning topsy and hooray for reduced pumpage for HND - she must be sick of the sight of that thing!

Gig - mask fitting sound horrid, but at least that bit is done now, -when does the RT start?

Malt - good that you have your appointment through, - yes, keeping busy is the best approach I think, hope you are sleeping better now.

Betsy I think up and down is v.normal throughout the whole process, and i think when you get used to that you learn to take advantage of the good days and get things done, and just be gentle with yourself on the down days. It's always hard to know who to tell, and totally appreciate the fact that you don't want everyone knowing your business - often feels like you become public property when you have cancer and because of the effects of treatment you have to discuss pretty private things with relative strangers. I don't know what the answer is, except maybe to stick to information on a need to know basis - be brief and factual then move on ?

Smee - good luck for tomorrow, how long will you be in hospital? Hope it all goes well, - you are very dedicated with your shoe breaking in

hello Sometimes Ooh Thornton's - yum! I can see your new crown sparkling from here, - the cost is shocking though isn't it? - I think I have about £700 worth of crowns in my mouth, - that's more than our car cost!

Hope you are feeling a bit less weedy better after the cookie MAS, are you in your low white blood cell days atm?

Copt at bed, will they replace it? ( they might if you go in waving bits of broken bed and shouting very loudly )

I had a lovely yoga class this morning - very relaxing.
Throwing some oaty chocolaty cookies on the trolley which Dd made yesterday, [brew ] all round?

love to all x

yes please!

Hope it doesn't make my crown hurt, it's a bit achey. Teach me to stop breaking my own teeth I suppose. I never get any problems from decay because I'm an obsessive tooth brusher, but I manage to break bits off quite regularly because I chomp

Gets then mugs kurri and sometimes for their crowns. Is there a black market in crowns like scrap metal?

Rads start next Thursday.

Betsy- agree that it's Normal to feel up and down. Do whatever you need to get thru day (or sometimes hour). You do learn coping strategies but they are all different.

Also ,cancer is a protected illness so you have rights akin to disability rights (think it may even be classed as disability). This should work in your favour as cant count your illness against you in terms of contract renewal but Macmillan are people to ring on this as are good on your rights etc.

Gigs I used to be a dental nurse and one of my "perks" was that I used to save up all the old crowns , gold fillings , waste amalgam etc , and send it off to the scrap guy every so often .
Us nurses would go out to lunch on the cheque we got back

Yep Betsy , Gigs is right about that . They cannot discriminate against you because of cancer .
Macmillan are great at giving you info on this type of thing .

Unfortunately two of y crowns are made of porcelain (or something like that) so probably not much scrap value. The dentist matched them to my existing teeth - it was very depressing , he got out a sort of colour chart, held it up against my teeth and selected a sort of dingy yellowish-grey. 'This is your colour' he said brightly

My mum's buyers for her house are playing silly buggers, - making all sorts of stupid demands on her, and now saying they are not sure if they can afford to have the work done, blah blah blah - they are trying to pressurize her into reducing the price. She is ignoring them and has asked the estate agent to send more people round to view, - I hope she doesn't lose the flt she wants to buy though, as it is perfect for her.

topsy -I am imagining you hovering round people while they are in the chair with their mouths open, and 'accidentally' knocking their crowns out into your little swag bag

I have just had a question answered by Cerys Matthews in the Web chat! I love her radio show so much I frequently listen to it over and over again. Feeling very chuffed that she responded to my question even if it was a bit boring. My question, not her Web chat.

She has a book out at the moment about the importance of singing with family and friends. I sing all the time, I knew I was really ill this time around because I couldn't sing when my lungs stopped working. I sing my children to sleep, I sing in the car, with my rainbows and guides etc etc. I am back making a noise again so the chemo must be working. Dd is poorly today and wanted Waltzing Matilda, oh my darling Clementine and Molly Malone. She is a sucker for a good tragic and maudlin tale.

I spotted that a couple of you are members of a choir. I am very envious. What do you sing? Do you recommend it? My voice is ok but not solo material and I can sight read a bit, but I wouldn't be brave enough to audition.

Hope everyone is getting better and improving, tough though the process may be.

Oh KK, why are people so grasping and horrible. Good on your Mum for putting it back on the market: don't worry about the flat, I'm firmly of the opinion that these things come good in the end. It's all crossed anyway, just to make sure

trice - There are definitely "choirs" and "C.H.O.I.R.S" - I'm not sure I'd audition for a "real" one . I'm in the local community choir who'll take just about anyone (no audition) . Most of the members can't read music and can just about hold a tune. I'm definitely in a minority having sung in choirs before and able to sight read a bit. It would be worth looking to see if there are any community choirs around your way that you could join - we have quite a few fairly new ones round here thanks to the Gareth Malone effect! The common denominator is we just enjoy singing - we sing a wide variety of stuff from Handel's Messiah, Beatles stuff, folk music, spirituals, Scarborough Fair etc. Singing is definitely good for the soul. :)

I love the sound of that Cerys Matthews book trice - I heard her talking about it on the channel 4 news the other day (she had Jon Snow singing along with her - You are my Sunshine he has rather a good voice actually)

I don't belong to a choir, but my DD is accompianist for a couple of local choirs, - I don't think it matters if you don't necessarily have a 'solo' voice - most of the people don't in DD's choir, - they sound great all singing together though. You could maybe try googling community choirs in your area - I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have to audition for them, and they tend to sing really fun songs - pop songs and such (rather than loads of choral stuff

Thanks Sometimes - I am of the opinion that they think they can take advantage of a 91 year old lady, - they have already made a couple of what I consider to be unreasonable requests (e.g.she 'has' to have the house professionally cleaned before they move in ) but they have now come up with something so unreasonable and bizarre you wouldn't believe it, (better not out myself by going into details, but it is beyond ludicrous )

I did think that oap factor might have a bearing kurri- but good on your mum for being firm. Professional cleaning- they can do one. For your Mum. Is flat in retirement place ?

All this talk of singing and choirs is lovely ( only sing to radio or dd here) ESP if trice gets voice back .

Topsy does this means we can be bonnie and Clyde for caps?

Trice aren't there a lot of new choirs these days that are for the not so deadly serious, and don't audition, prompted by the lovely Gareth. ( Friend and I fantasise that the lovely Gareth's next project will be a choir for women in mid 50s that really can't sing but love to sing, that have blonde highlights, two children, a love of gardening, live in our roads, you know, where he couldn't say no....if he still tries we might even play the Cancer card and risk a "journey", and a whole million weeping head tilters. I could whip out my prosthesis and wave it in the air with the key change......) I shouldn't take the pee as sit there with tears pouring down my face at every episode....

I keep seeing ads in local mags and even got a leaflet through the post. It might be worth a little googling. I am sure it would be so good for the spirit.

smee will be thinking of you tomorrow, and your new lovely boobs.

Betsy yes you are definitely covered by disability discrimination, Macmillan good on this. Came too late to help me.

gigs thanks for offer but mattress on floor now til we get a new bedstead, from M&S I think this time! Sounds like you need to take some non Cancer mags in there to replace the leaflets, my Consultants waiting room is full of Homes and Gardens and Country Life just to stereotype, just what you need when facing a Dx of possible life threatening illness! Labradors and guns and horsey looking women! but I think you are going to hate the decor of these places you experienced trauma come what may. I think it is why I hate pink so much, and those blue and peach curtains they did at JL and had in all hotels circa 1995....

This all moved on when I slept, i really had to as 4 hours sleep in 2 nightsis not a good idea. I have just read and smiled but apologies if my dyslexic brain has dropped anything important.

Bed is a saga, actually a saggy saga. As started to sag just after we got it, it has a middle bar and a leg in the middle of the bar to support centre but it slipped sideways. Strange man came out from JL to "assess" and said slippage was our fault obviously looking at my big bum and then proceeded to make me sit on one end of frame whilst he did atlas impression and straightened it and suggested we put a big pile of books under it for support! I demanded a new bed or at least a new leg but they didn't have one and I got nowhere. So now the leg has finally given up the ghost and the slats have fallen out, though obviously DH and I swinging on the halogen ceiling lights were to blame, so I suppose I have to become Mrs Angry, it helps that all the reviews say the same! And yes I am considering taking the tangled wreckage and dumping it in the beds department.

topsy just to be clear before piss up I have no fillings, crowns, etc and very unattractive yellow teeth so punching out my teeth will not be lucrative.......

Crosses Copt off hitlist with kurri- wonders if can get smee while she is under tomorrow.

Think row is needed Copt as bed not fit for purpose by sounds of it. But prob not on lack of sleep. Will let you know tomorrow about catch up as got to see what next pump dressing fixture is in morning .

Copt am really surprised at JL as they have such a good reputation for customer service, they should replace it without question
Raining and horrid here is it everywhere ?