********The 37th Tamoxifen Thread, Fun and Tears in "Cancerland" *****

[Copthallresident]

Trolley Rolled over and "Its a small small world" playing on the ipod on repeat.

I have had a nice day. I managed to farm the kids out to the neighbours. I have been able to hear them laughing from various gardens all afternoon. Ndn even fed and bathed the youngest (with her little friend). Ds has been practicing street dance routines with his buddies - they want to film themselves as they think they are cool!

Keeping everything crossed for you Malt and Betsy. Waiting for results is awful.

Oof it's been scorchio here today (disclaimer - anything over 18 degrees is considered tropical over here )
And it's still beautiful now .
All you can hear are the cries of the kids as their poor parents try in vain to drag them inside for bed .

Tonight , in true bus shelter styley , I'm on the cider !
It's pear cider though , so slightly classier than a 2 litre bottle of diamond white !
kids self

Had a bit of a sobering moment today
Bumped into the wife of DHs uncle (the one who is very very ill with cancer) and she could barely look at me .
She just kept telling me how very lucky I was , and I could tell she was thinking how unfair it is that her husband wasn't this lucky

Poor , poor woman . She's living her worst nightmare right now .

Good evening from me. Now I am back at work full time I don't get the chance to post much but I am trying to keep up.

I will confess I am on the vodka tonight.

I had a lovely day, ds came back from a school trip with a bag of stinking wet washing that had been festering in a hot tent all week. Lovely. Just glad I could get it all dry today.

Lovely walk this evening at low tide in the harbour and now I am the only person awake in the house.

Work is ok but I really don't want to work full time and I am finding this period between treatment and scan hard as I can't get it out of my mind until I know the results of the scan I have not had yet.

Morning all. Those birds are jolly noisy! Not slept well due to noisy tent but had a lovely evening walk. Have to get up early as orders to get to church early and must pack up tent and shower... waiting for results is horrible, notj can you speak to your doctor to get a fit note for.reduced hours?

Morning all
Seems like a lot of people are having a crap time at the moment, hugs x

notJ ewwww at washing, I hope the horrid smell has washed out. Agree with jchoc could you get a fit note for anxiety or similar? The waiting is awful, especially as you've got such a long wait! Have you tried mindfulness meditation? I've found it surprisingly effective at dealing with anxious cancery thoughts :)

jchoc hope you've made it to church and managed to get everything packed in time :)

malt good morning! :)

topsy poor DH's uncle and aunt :( but it's not your fault at all, it's good that you've been lucky and just horrible cruelness of life that he hasn't :(

trice that sounds lovely, I bet they've been having a fabulous time outside in this weather! I remember doing dance routines with my friends, such fun, thank goodness we don't have those on video as would be so embarrassing now!

betsy I hope you managed to get a good sleep. All your worries are perfectly natural and I think most of us have had them. I don't have children but I can imagine it makes the fears a million times worse. I hope you get your results soon :)

KK oh dear! Will you or DH be able to fix it?

MAS glad T had a good birthday and liked his presents, he sounds lovely :)

thenight :( at bum lump, don't panic yet but of course get it checked out when you can. I don't know what surgery you had but could it be scar tissue? I have all sorts of scar tissue from where they joined things together and stuff :) whatever it is hopefully it's harmless and easily dealt with, lots of positive thoughts from someone who also has an intimate knowledge of their bum

Waves to amber and smee and everyone else I've missed, I hope you're all having a fabulous weekend.

My sister is back from uni she came back on Friday so I've been spending lots of time with her, she's going on holiday for three weeks soon so I'm making the most of her while she's here. She is probably going to be my chemo buddy next week, her boyfriend too as he's coming to stay for the week. And today we're hopefully going to IKEA ever since copt mentioned the flamingo blankets I've been nagging my parents to take me! I managed a small shopping trip in town yesterday so reckon IKEA is do-able as plenty of sitting down opportunities! And loos.

Talking of mindfulness meditation - I am off this evening to a new group starting locally- think all of the people have done the Mindfulness course like me - half an hour of peaceful breathing sounds good ! Am a bit nervous though as I don't know anyone and I think we all have to introduce ourselves etc. Should I mention my dx ? I originally did meditation to combat ocd anxiety.

Mas - I think I would mention my dx if I were joining a meditation group. Otherwise it will be all you can think about. Once it is out in the open you can all move on. It is relevant to the situation. Iykwim.

Ruby I hope you made it to ikea, if you did what did you buy ? We went to the range yesterday, don't know if they are everywhere but they sell all sorts of home stuff and we bought lots of things we didn't really need!
MAS let us know his you get on, trice is probably right about mentioning it then you can move on
How are you today trice?
Also wondering how gigs is
Hi to everyone else
Quiet day here. Ds had a sleepover so is tired and grumpy and just wants to chill. Wheres the sun ??

Afternoon lovelies

Crazy week here - sorry I haven't been around. Trying to get to grips with lots of things at work - have been asked to change year groups again for next year, job sharing with another part timer who has the reputation of being a lazy jobsworth of the worst order, so I am finding it all a bit stressful. Anyway, have decided to go for it, and see what happens. Hopefully she won't be too awful for me and I can charm her into actually pulling her weight!

Malt how's you this afternoon? All the feelings you're having are completely normal. It does seem like another long wait for results, although saying that, I think I waited 2 weeks for mine. . . Hope you're doing your exercises? It does make such a difference, I think.

MAS Meditation group sounds great - am sure you will enjoy it. I think I would mention dx - it is a part (albeit a very small part) of who you are and how you view the world. As trice says, then its out in the open and you can move on. Don't feel you need to be specific with all the details if you don't want to. Good luck, lovely - hope it really helps you

kurri how's DDIL? Hope she's recovering well from her op. And you? Bastard shingles not too bad for you? Hope you are steadily recovering. Sending you lots of love xx x

BaronessAmber hope all is good with you and you are not working too hard? Sounds like you've been doing lots of travelling around, which must be hard work for you. Be gentle to yourself x x

gig how's things? What news with you? I love the video of the minigigs in the paddling pool! Couldn't post a similar one of DS as he was stark bollock naked in his yesterday afternoon and think FB might protest . . .

ruby hope you're having a peaceful day. How's the knitting going? I wish I could knit - I think its such a lovely skill to have. Hope you're doing OK x x

Jchoc missed you being in Dorset! Hope you've had a lovely time? What did you get up to?

coorong you clearly have great taste in men in speedos better than the penchant for monsieurs de l'orange that some others enjoy. Keep linking, so we can all enjoy

sparkle good news on no node involvement - that's super news

Sorry this is an post of epic proportions, and I am bound to have missed something crucial

Waves to smee, copt, topsy NJ, trice, betsy, EMIN and anyone else around.

Thanks for the advice lovelies...
ned no wonder you feel stressed - hope things will be ok..a sure you can charm her

Ned I'm coping just about thanks and yes I'm doing my exercises ! They seem very easy but hopefully they're doing something ! Still waiting for a date to get my results and now I feel fine again after my op all seems a bit surreal again !
Which year group have you got next year ? I've been lucky with my job share partners though the last 2 I've had had no experience with eyfs and have found it hard to adapt. Both lovely hard working people though. Hope yours will be better than you think! I miss my job so much.

Just heard that the author Ian banks has died of cancer, feel for him and his family of course but also it will be all over the news won't it. I have to turn the tv over every time that advert comes on with the people falling over too
No getting away from it is there ?

Afternoon all!

No IKEA today :( there was a big event on nearby, some kind of concert I think, so would've been lots of traffic and so we decided to go another day. We went bowling instead though which was lots of fun I had to use the lightest children's ball as I'm still quite weak and didn't think it'd be worth giving myself a hernia just to win at bowling!

ned I've had a lovely day thanks, hope you have too. My knitting is going a bit disastrously at the mo, I was beng adventurous with a new stitch but my square has gone a bit wrong as managed to lose a few stitches and get in a bit of a muddle. I find it so relaxing to knit though, have you ever tried? It's not as complicated as it looks, it took me a while to learn but then it suddenly "clicks". What year group will you be with? I hope the job-sharer pulls her weight! :) hopefully you can charm her, or shame her, into it!

malt I haven't seen those adverts. I don't like the Cancer Research one "up yours cancer" type thing which I saw a while ago. I don't know where they get their ideas from! I hope you've managed to avoid cancery news today! :)

malt I've got year 4, which s fine, as I've done it before in a different school, it's just that its another change - its the fifth tear on the trot i ill ve doing something different My best friend at school has the other year 4 class so I'm looking forward to working with her. I'm trying o be positive about it, and hopefully it will be ok.

Sad about Iain Banks. I didn't realise that Jeremy Kyle had testicular cancer last year?

Hope everyone's having a peaceful Sunday x x

X post < waves at ruby>

Yup, good weekend here. Have done way too much gardening but loved every minute of it. Then trek out to lovely gardens for tea and a bun this aft.

out for all

On our way back ned. Was a bit of a mad dash down for a first communion. Think we had lunch quite near you, but if course I didn't know in advance. Camped with brother near the coast path - very nice new shower block and view of white horse. Should have popped over and nicked your pimms! No doubt will be down again one day.

Waves and hugs to all back later.

Hello everyone who remembers me and hello to everyone who doesn't. I went AWOL after the best friend I met through chemo died and I went all twitchy. But I have been lurking and thinking of all you lovely people. Hope all are feeling well in this wonderful weather.

waving to all - hope everyone has had a good weekend.
i've done gardening, knitting, reading my book for book club, and dog cuddling

lovely to see you ned - shingles are sometimes ok sometimes sore, but not sore all the time which is an improvement. ddil is recovering well from her op. although still rather bruised and sore, - she's taken 2 weeks off work, but I'm not sure how fit she will be to drive and start working again so soon - we will have to see.

computer still being awful - the screen has nearly fallen off - hanging on by a wire have duct taped it, but still have to hang on to it while typing. the concorde taking off noise i think may be the fan but computer is so rubbish it's hardly worth buying a new fan for it. i'll get a new one in a coupe of months - hope it hangs on until then.
apologies again for lack of capitals 9can't press shift9 - oh and obviously that means a bracket is a 9

am reading your posts - apologies for no detailed replies - but it take so long to write anything. will try to get dh to bring his laptop home from work then i might be able to post better. but thinking of you all xx

hope you enjoyed the mindfulness mas.

Evening all !
Kurri it does sound like you need to replace your poorly computer! Glad to hear the shingles are improving

George clooney hi, I'm new but welcome again. I'm sorry about your friend and what a shock that must have been to you, hope you keep posting

Ruby shame about ikea but bowling sounds fun

Ned year 4 sound good, and working alongside your friend will be nice for you yes JK had cancer around Christmas time he's back to shouting at everyone on his show now ( not that I ever watch obviously ! )

Jchoc are you tired after your early morning ? Glad you had a good weekend

Amber glad you've had a good weekend you're always so busy I hope you rest sometimes :)

Hi to everyone else

I'm knackered which I think is not helping my feelings of doom, not really slept well since dx but especially not since I've been trying to stay off the tablets since my op so going to treat myself to one tonight lol
Sun finally out here hope everyone has a good evening

ilgc !!! Always lovely to see you

Mending vibes to your computer kk.

Malt hope you get a good night tonight.

I was hoping to get in in time.for bollywood carmen on bbc3 but 'spect it will be on iplayer...

ILGC - yay ! lovely to see you !
I dislike those up yours cancer ads. Am very sad about Iain Banks - fabulous writer- was thinking about him only the other day when I noticed The Wasp Factory in Waterstone's.
Went to meditation - 5 people crammed in a v small room but they were all nice and one of them was on my mindfulness course- she also had bc and was having radiotherapy when we were doing the course. I managed to say that I'd been dx with secondary cancer and I've got that over with- I guess it's relevant to how things are with me-though i felt a bit awkward about saying it. The nice fellow course member was sweet and when we left said how sorry she was and hugged me. Anyway, will give it a go and hope to get into a calm and mindful way again.
Love to all,hope this week is good for everyone.

Waving madly to ILGC - great to see you, -hope all is well with you and your lovely DC xx

Have managed to prop the laptop up against some books and it is holding the screen in place for now - so yay, I have capital letters! (and exclamation marks - my favourites )

hope you get a good nights sleep malt - its good to have the tablets there so yo can take one if you feel you need to, - and getting over tired will make you feel down.

MAS - I'm glad the meeting went well - and now that you have done the awkward bit, next time will be much easier

night night all xx

Morning all! I can't seem to sleep at Mums, I think the heating/ water is very noisy + birds singing / cars going past. And I just wake early anyway. I'll get up soon and make a
Had a lovely night away in dorset - one night is not enough - but jam packed with a swim in Weymouth bay as we arrived, catch up with db and family, tent pitching, kite flying, coastal walk until sunset, beer drinking at dusk, not much sleep in tent, early start, shorter coastal walk, nice shower, tent down, breakfast, 2+ (!!) Hour bells and smells/ sung latin bits, very nice family lunch at country house hotel (near ned I think) dash back for cake and present opening then back in car drive back to mums in time to see the results of what was going on outside my office broadcast live on bbc3. Now a relaxing (!) day with mum before going to dds end of year show and late night driving home ... Excuse me if I sound a bit manic, its been one of those weekends...
Am on phone so diff to scroll. Hope the lack of posting on here is down to the weather - waves to you all and wishes you all lovely days. Has anyone got appointments this week/ in hospital? I can't keep up.