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**TAMOXIFEN 35**the all dancing,fat boy snacking and drugs thread

999 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 26/04/2013 16:15

yoo hoo - over here- bring the trolley...

OP posts:
malteserzz · 05/05/2013 17:44

I know you are MAS and that does give me hope thank you

Gigondas · 05/05/2013 17:49

I remember feeling very like you did this time last year- in fact I couldn't get out of bed on Sunday of our trip away. Just lay there thinking dh and kids may as well get used to being without me.

It was horrible but a part of the grieving process. You will find your own way to cope in time I am sure. As mas says, we are all still here.

At the moment you are still in shock and until you have more details and a treatment plan to focus on it is very tricky. Hang in there.

Those slings look good ned - thanks. And i love a Dorset knob Wink.

malteserzz · 05/05/2013 17:50

As well as not googling is it also not a good idea to read the end of life board on the breast cancer care site ?!
Honestly I am my own worst enemy sometimes !
Love to all have a good evening x

MaryAnnSingleton · 05/05/2013 17:50

that wasn't meant to sound stern, just wanted you to feel that you'll be able to get through this horrible waiting bit- and that you'll feel so much better once you have the facts and a plan - promise Smile

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 05/05/2013 17:52

malt I was looking at the hospice when I took ds to his hospital appointment,thinking I wonder whether I'll end up there ? - I hadn't noticed it before.

OP posts:
Gigondas · 05/05/2013 18:05

Mas I was under hospice care at one point (have been signed off as am not seen as top of their list). My reasoning was they do the home care as don't want to be there. It used up quite a lot of emotional energy dealing with it but I needed to face the fear (of dieing alone or in pain) which oddly it did do.

And no end of life is not good ( but I confess I have tortured myself there). Aibu can provide some relief as temptation to say get a grip. Or relationships - In the words of one blunt speaker, I would leave a lot of posters there. Also kurri always loves a good clairvoyant thread.

graciesmall09 · 05/05/2013 18:08

malt a year down the line from when I was diagnosed and I still get moments of panic/fear and as topsy summed it up it is grieving for the life that I thought I was going to have but those moments do get less. I don't think it ever goes away but it does get easier.

earth I have broken 2 teeth since dx/chemo. I asked to be tested for vitamin D and turns out I was severely deficient. Don't know whether that is what caused the teeth to break but I have noticed my nails are stronger since being on a supplement.

mas glad you had a good day at the fete. Bah re: BIL. Some people are a bit thoughtless and it is normal to feel hurt.

ned enjoy Wagamamma.

kurri well what did you get? Hope something nice to eat. Poor little ladydog.

Out last night so having difficulty lifting my backside off the chair.

KurriKurri · 05/05/2013 19:27

Evening all - apologies - I fell asleep for a long time this afternoon Blush

DH brought a belgian choux bun back from Lidl in the end. It was very nice.

Earth - I broke two teeth on chemo - I'm pretty sure it does affect them, your dentist should be able to do some non-invasive patching up so the don't hurt.

Waving to Ned - glad you enjoyed all the knob activities Grin

I don't go on the BCC site - I found it very depressing, so I steer clear (although BCC is a good charity in itself and I have been to a lot of talks organised by them which have been very good and helpful) I just keep away from their forum.

Old lady dog has just had another turn that's two today -which isn't good Sad

MaryAnnSingleton · 05/05/2013 19:31

poor old lady dog Sad a gentle hug for her

OP posts:
amberlight · 05/05/2013 21:06

BCC wouldn't do anything to help me in a way I could access, for ages. Then wanted me to go there to train them on how to help me. Decided not to. I'm sure they do many fine things though.
I prefer here.
Eek re old lady dog, KK - hope all's more OK soon....

Gigondas · 05/05/2013 21:31

Chemo known to knacker teeth and gums so I got mine checked before.

I don't like my specialist site nor do I like the special talks given as found that bit hit and miss on how organised support.

Poor old lady dog - sending her hugs.
Choux bun sounds nice.

Right trying hard for good night sleep so night all.

trice · 05/05/2013 21:37

I hope your dog has a better night kk.

coorong · 05/05/2013 21:40

malt stay away from google and BCC sites - otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts. However, once you get a plan and a proper diagnosis - then breast cancer care and macmillan are useful for deciding on treatment options - ie lumpectomy vs mx etc and different post op treatments.

My BC nurse said (when I found out my tumour was cancerous) said - and I quote directly "I bet you're already planning your funeral" .... turns out my 1.8cm lump (so marginally smaller than yours) is a common garden boring sort which they've all seen before. You go into hospital, get sorted, come out, they pump you with a few drugs, you feel a bit rough, then you're fine and you get on. I was unlucky to get cancer, but lucky to have a boring one.

IME if you're busy you tend not to dwell on stuff. I found out in the middle of my PGCE, which I'm back completing. I didnt have time to scratch my nose, let alone worry about cancer, I was too busy writing lesson plans etc. So..... find yourself something else to keep you focussed ... preferrably something that takes a bit of mental effort. I don't know what to suggest. I'm boring and like sudoku and jigsaws, but I realise that's not everyone's cup of tea.

But seriously, stay off the internet, except here.

coorong · 05/05/2013 21:41

Kurri i'm sorry to hear your dog's not so well - give her ears a gentle rub from me

malteserzz · 05/05/2013 21:52

Coorong thank you planning my funeral is exactly what I've been doingHmm I've kind of come to terms with having cancer it's just the worry that it's spread now. No that's rubbish I haven't come to terms with it at all but if it's not spread I'll cope
Which age was your pgce for ? I teach reception and year 1 absolutely love it and really hope I can carry on

KurriKurri · 05/05/2013 22:24

Thanks for all the cuddles and ear rubs for old lady dog, I have passed them on and she is now snoring contentedly, wrapped up in her blanky Smile

jchocchip · 06/05/2013 00:05

Anyone know where I can borrow a panda from? The b**y bamboo lives another day despite dh attacking it with the axe Grin Have saved a few bits to put in pots. I quite like it just not directly in the ground threatening to undermine the house. Whoever thought it was a good idea should be shot be told to keep it in the pot next time....

jchocchip · 06/05/2013 00:16

You will cope malt planning funeral/ nightmares of spread completely normal but once you have a treatment plan you will be ok. I remember dx well it was a relief as it was much worse in my imaginaton. Looking back over 21 months since dx, I have been lucky. Got dx reasonably early and back at work within 5 months and I'm 2 stone lighter and loads fitter than I was back then. Still have occasional moments of paranoia but apart from remembering to take tamoxifen, things are back to uneventful....

Gigondas · 06/05/2013 06:53

Morning all - Brew?

How is old lady dog?

Coorong and jchoc got some good advice there esp on keeping busy. I like puzzles and also Doing an Ou course.

Managed to sleep thru (except one mini gig wake - I hate that I am not allowed to pick her up , as so hard when she cries, but I can still cuddle her). Feel much better for it.

What's everyone up to? Big gig has party this afternoon so I am going to shop and Maybe have some tea while she is there.

coorong · 06/05/2013 07:00

Morning .... Have sunshine actually streaming through the windows!!!!!!

Yes please to Brew and when are we going to get some decent weekend telly back? The village is so depressing and those sat night talent shows so awful..... Even Downtown is better ...

Might try a walk and mini picnic today. Sadly my plans for homemade cake went awry, it's biscuits all round

coorong · 06/05/2013 07:01

Can you crawl into bed with mini gig? I used to climb into my daughters cots Wink felt silly, but it was nice

Gigondas · 06/05/2013 07:07

She comes in with us which is ok- her cot a bit small for me Grin. Mind you might be able to do that later in week as kids staying in with us while their room is decorated.

Weekend (or indeed week) tv is patchy . I end up scouting thru channels to record what I can.

Biscuits sound yum.

malteserzz · 06/05/2013 07:51

Morning all
Forgot to switch my alarm off so it woke me up at 715 thankfully the kids are still asleep
Looks a lovely sunny day
Think we're going to Chester on the way home
Still terrified about tomorrow
I had a lovely message from my friend who's dh died very quickly from cancer a few years ago she said completely different thing and not to compare myself with him
Hope you all have a good day

jchocchip · 06/05/2013 08:13

The thing is with cancer, we don't notice all the people who are living with it back at work after treatment. I've lost count of the number of ladies who have said - oh I had treatment for bc 20 years ago... when I was first dx, my lovely neighbour (in her 70s) flashed her lumpectomy boob at me - she is very proud of how perky it is...
Keep away from the end of life boards, hang around here for Brew medicinal chocolate and fbs and Wine later :)

malteserzz · 06/05/2013 08:34

I think you're right, it's a bit like miscarriage.

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