**TAMOXIFEN 29**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

crikey !

Afternoon all. Got kettle on if anyone wants a ? Just made DS some honey sandwiches, so could throw a few of those onto the trolley if anyone fancies?

Feeling a bit bleaurgh this week. . . Stupid, stupid me, I convinced myself I had a recurrence [hblush] Had a very red, itchy patch of skin under boob (where rads were, so even more stupid really) that wasn't really responding to usual skin remedies, and instantly thought that I had inflammatory BC. Anyway, nice doctor said it was a nasty fungal infection, and have cream, and there there, don't cry. . .

Have also got my period this week - first one since first chemo cycle in February, and it is a monstrous one. I feel thoroughly drained and weepy.

Had choir rehearsal last night, and conductor asked who else was interested in auditioning for the solo apart from me, and got Look of Death from the lady who usually does the solos. . . think I may piss her off even if I go for audition. Maybe I am being a bit presumptuous, having only been there 4 weeks. Don't know what to do.

Feel a bit perked up by parents evening though - DS doing rather nicely in Y1, despite recent wobbles about his writing and teacher being a bit unsupportive. Anyway, she was a bit better today, and was very complimentary about him. He's just gone up another reading stage, so is now reading at a mid-Y2 level. He's basically the top performing Y1, (small school, though, we're not talking hundreds of Y1s!) which she was quite about, when I reminded her that he is the very youngest, as his birthday is the end of August.

God, I sound like a complete self-absorbed airhead don't I? Sorry. Don't have any right to be really.

Sending big hugs for positive scan results, end of rads (yay!) bruised legs, poorly DS, sore hands, headaches, post mastectomy pain, clever DDs at parents evening, knackered tumble driers, Frenchland holidays and chocolate muffins.

Lots of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yum muffins sound just the thing !
Have a nice swim jane Am going to make sure ds gets to go swimming regularly as he loves it and the 6 swim sessions they could do instead of PE this term have been much fun for him. He used to have lessons at a private health club which he adored but sadly the teacher retired- the pool there was really nice and often he'd be the only one there- can't afford to be a member though.
Chemo nurse ringing back tomorrow with advice from doctors !

poor ned - what a worry for you - hope you're feeling much better and not so anxious- quite natural to feel as you did.
Can sympathise with the period thing- had mine since Saturday pm and it just won't stop -it's the worst I've ever had (have always been pretty lucky in that department) I wouldn't be surprised if my blood count is a bit down !! Gah
Absolutely go for the solo - never mind the cross bat- you'll be fab and it'll be so exciting !
Well done to dear little ned

Ned for solo!
Ned for solo!
Ned for solo!

Well done little Ned - and of course you should go for the solo, Ned - why not? Ignore the old bat!

Glad to hear paranoia has been booted back into the box, too. x

Hi to Sparkles, Smee, MAS, Jane and anyone who is about who I have missed.

Well done for chasing up the chemo nurse, MAS. Keep chasing if you have to

I've just walked into a closed patio door, very hard. I think I may have a very bruised nose tomorrow, and I've jarred the screws in my back as well. Sob! Serves me right for not looking where I was going - in my defence the door is open 99% of the time, but it's not much of an excuse, I'd even been told it would be closed owing to An Important Phone Call

ouch sometimes - apply arnica directly !

Yes Mum [hwink]

arf sometimes !

Ned, GO FOR IT. Why on earth shouldn't you. If she turns nasty, just flash your scars. And how lovely to hear about little Ned. Clever boy.

That scare must have been horrible. Honestly though it's like this on the other side of treatment. I try ever so hard to talk my way out of it, but somehow paranoia has a canny way of seeping in. I don't count myself as neurotic, but still seem to have a scare every few months. Really don't mean to depress you, more to say it's normal and the medics are used to it. The new normal takes some getting used to though.

Jane, you've reminded me. I must get back to swimming. Been hard to get there, as I have so much work atm. feeble excuse

Ouch, Sometimes. Poor back. Been meaning to ask how it's going with all of that. Is it a huge improvement?

Waves to sparkle. Good to 'see' you.

ned go for the solo, why shouldn't you? Everyone will be glad of a change if nasty woman always gets the solo part. Well done to littlened. He is doing well. Sorry you had a wobble but glad dr put your mind at rest.

sometimes hope you haven't injured your back too badly and that you are not in too much pain.

Hugs to mas and fab sorry you are both feeling poorly.

Enjoy France gigs hope you have a fab time.

Waves to jchoc, smee and everyone else.

Saw a lady at rads who was on my 'Look Good Feel Good' course. She looked very ill and was in a wheelchair . She was fine in July.

still waiting for my period, day 34 so far and not feeling pre menstrual, which is a record. But at least I can go for a swim [hsmile] Pool not too crowded, perk of being able to work from home and go to the 5pm session.

hurray for fungal infection, ned I can understand why that would give you a wobble.

Dd2 is murdering danny boy on the violin, haven't heard her practice that one before, and her lesson is tomorrow...

Hugs for ned about her wobble and yes for solo and well done little ned.

gracie about lady but glad you are getting trough.

mas keep onto Bcn.

sometimes still two days to sneak in suitcase [hwink]

Right back to drinking as bad mummy did cc with mini gig.

Jchoc at ds- the cat used to knock my music stand over as was that bad at the violin.

'morning all you lovelies. Is anyone up? I think I went to bed a bit early as was tired, now been wide away for ages, and didn't set alarm until 7. Don't think I am particularly worried about anything, and the cat is shut out of the room...

am up, sorry you aren't sleeping well though jane - hope you aren't too tired today.

Yes for you- bad nights sleep isn't good. How are you today mas? Am taking big gig on a trip to national gallery.

Right I'm sucking in my belly and inching into Gig's suitcase. Shove over, KK, there's room for a fat little one.

Gracie - about the lady at rads.

Sending a smooch xxxx to the early risers.....

Smee - thanks for asking, the back is lots, lots better than it was, thank you. No pain in my legs now and much less in my back. They didn't fix the original problem as I was born with that, so I will always have a bit of back ache sometimes, they just fixed the damage it had caused. I reckon it's about 80% better, which is great. Still rather stiff though, so I need to work on that (dull). How's yours? I know it's been a lot longer than mine, but I seem to remember it caused a problem with your foot?????

jane, maybe waking early's due to hormones if you're still waiting for your period. Hope it arrives soon!

Gracie about that poor woman. How many more have you got to go?? You must be so nearly through. Is the skin holding up??

MAS, how are hands today?? Is that new cream doing any good? I hope the unit call you back this morning. xx

Gig, have fun at the National Gallery. There's a fab guard (is that what they're called?!) who's often up in the 1600's European area, who saw us looking at a painting of Salome receiving John the Baptist's head, so took a shine to us, which led to a mini tour. Delightfully gruesome it was too, so smile at the guards is my tip. Though clearly mini-gig will have more refined taste than DS.

What's everyone up to today?? And where's Topsy? Is she on holiday, or just MIA?

bah, just typed message and accidentally deleted it.
Huge sympathies for back problems - always sounds so debilitating.
Tumble dryer man coming on Monday - might be forced to do ironing in the meantime.
Chemo nurse rang and is speaking to onc and will call me back- they might tell me to stop my tablets until next cycle (only tonight and tomorrow left) and possibly give me a prescription for something to counteract the soreness.
New hand cream smells divine but no real improvement on dryness, though there's no peeling !
Have a fab time at Nat. Gallery - we used to go in there to draw as art students- I absolutely love the gift shops and always buy many cards.

xposted earlier Sometimes. 80% sounds pretty good! Mine's been amazing tbh. I still have some tingling in my foot, which is probably permanent now as it's gone on for too long and like you, I'll always have a bit of pain, but the difference is genuinely life changing for me. I am going to send my lovely Surgeon a card on the anniversary of the op (10th December 2009) to say thank you. I found my lump in March 2010, so Breast Cancer overtook it all and I kind of forget how much pain I was in and how amazing it is not to have it. Hooray for Back Surgery.

MAS, good to hear they're trying to help you. Hope she speaks to the Onc soon. Even if they can't fix it this cycle, it's always good to know there's a plan. x

Ooh, hooray for a treatment plan, MAS. Can't believe you are so near the end of the second cycle, well done you. I think you are being very strong and pragmatic, though there really is no excuse for ironing. I should have thought sore hands was the perfect get-out excuse.

Smee - that sounds good, then. I always thought back surgery must be a right old slog but it really is a life changer, I agree. And the relief is immediate . Hooray for spine surgery, indeed. I'm sure your surgeon will love to get an anniversary card, what a nice idea!

Gig, have a great day at the National Gallery. I think it's on our list for our weekend in London at the start of December, which I am looking forward to a lot. We have tickets for The Lion King, so we're going to make a weekend of it and do a bit of culture as well as drinking wine and eating too much .

Morning all

Thanks for all nice comments - it must have read like I was fishing for compliments, so I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I think I will go for the solo and see what happens. It will be Tuesday after half term, so keep fingers crossed!

MAS I think you have the perfect excuse not to do any ironing! Hope they can give you something to counteract the hand pains.

Have been cheered up by a big box of fancy chocs that arrived in the post today from DHs family in Scotland - happy to share on the trolley, cos there are LOADS and I can't possibly eat them all myself!

Smee and sometimes excellent to hear of your back op successes. Hope not too bad after your altercation with the patio door sometimes?

TOPSY ? WHERE ARE YER? I think she's actually already in gig 's suitcase ready for the trip to Frenchland. . .

Waves to all and sending big hugs to everyone x x x

Not too bad Ned, thanks! My back's a bit stiffer than usual and my nose feels bruised but isn't actually bruise coloured. Its a miracle how that the patio door survived. You should have seen DH's face, I think he thought the sky was falling in

Meant to say -Earth's got a thread in Chat - she has been married for 38 years 'Tis a very sweet thread.....

aw, couldn't find Earth's thread- 38 years is very impressive !